DM42 Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 Well, it was 6 months ago that she broke up with me and I was doing quite well. The short form of this story is that she works at the golf club where I am a member and I pretty well avoided contact, I would see her sometimes but never at conversation distance and very rarely we would make visual contact when I did see her. I got through birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's, etc by keeping busy and doing something for myself. She sent me a text about two weeks before Christmas, it was just a graphic stating "All relationships have one law: Never make the one you love feel alone, especially when you're there" I didn't reply to it and kept trying to move on. In January, after months of avoiding contact, one of my friends went up for a drink and I said I wasn't going up. She asked him if he just golfed with me and he said he did but I wasn't coming up. She came down the stairs telling me to quit hiding, I told her I wasn't hiding and that I simply did not want to go up there and that was it. I started feeling more comfortable going into the club with friends that I golf with and we did exchange hellos and how are you. I kept it short and polite. This weekend I was golfing with friends and one of them mentioned that she is going out with someone in the club. It floored me because the guy is a drunk from what I've heard. I don't really know him and I think we have met before but I don't recall it as I was fairly new there and was meeting a lot of people at once. I did text her about it yesterday, basically just writing the guy's name with a question mark. I didn't quite understand her reply. I just can't see her dating this guy at all. This could just be overblown because someone saw them out together and that isn't very uncommon there. I texted and asked if she was dating him and she replied "No". I know it's none of my business but I was told it right out of the blue and I have asked my two close friends not to tell me anything about her and one of them did. I will tell them again. Anyway I am totally despondent today and I feel like I'm right back to the day after the break up where I decided to put my head down one day at a time and avoid contact. I guess the point of this post is looking for encouragement or advice and it feels helpful to write it out. Going to the club makes me happy but it comes with a cost of crossing paths but for the most part I can avoid her. Another point of this post is to advise anyone, and it has been said here many times, DO NOT make contact and do your best to avoid hearing about an ex if you aren't prepared to hear anything and everything that may be said. I'm hoping this terrible feeling I'm having goes away quickly, I know I can do it because I did come a long way, I just wish I could turn back the clock a few weeks but I did think I was prepared, another lesson learned.
jphcbpa Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 does the club have a rule about employees dating members?
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 I know it hurts again now but I have learnt along the way that these secondary "hits" pass quicker than the first ones... just hang in there... lots of exercise !! :-) x 1
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