HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 I see so many times "if he loves u he will come back", "if u set it free and its yours it will come back" etc etc but really is that real life? x I desperately want to make a move but I wont so how do we really know they arent doing the same... x Everywhere u look it says if someone walks away then go NC so really they are probably told the same... it just confuses me x Maybe we should just do what we feel is right or is there any truth in it all x
disclosure Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 I see so many times "if he loves u he will come back", "if u set it free and its yours it will come back" etc etc but really is that real life? x I desperately want to make a move but I wont so how do we really know they arent doing the same... x Everywhere u look it says if someone walks away then go NC so really they are probably told the same... it just confuses me x Maybe we should just do what we feel is right or is there any truth in it all x It's because it's true. If he really loves you he will eventually realize he made a mistake and come back. And even then it may not be for the right reasons. AND if they do, it usually takes a few months at least...and it doesn't happen often. This is why you are told to go NC and move on. You can't just sit there and wait for him to "possibly" come back. He dumped you, there were reasons. Think about the alternative. You start chasing him to get him back. His feelings are still the same about the break up, he knows you are still into him, and now he's pursuing other girls working on completely moving on while you are stuck in the past clinging onto hope that he will come back. Eventually he moves on completely, finds someone else, and you are now forced to start from square one. No contact.
d0nnivain Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 NC is a healing tool. It's designed to give the dumpee space free from the reminders of what has been lost. It also prevents the dumpor from giving the dumpee a false sense of hope based on a misinterpretation of kindness. If you broke up with somebody, I see no problem with one attempt to reconcile. Beyond that it just looks pathetic & doesn't work. It also matters why you broke up. If the underlying problems aren't fixed, you can't get back together. If the other person left to pursue someone new, you also have no hope.
Lovesoldier84 Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 I am going through the same thing if you want to read my post.... Bf dumped me. I accepted the break up thanked him for the love and am in no contact three weeks. Grieve the relationship, but not him. If it's love he will pass his anger stage and regret his decision. He may need to date other girls to realize how good you were to him. But when you're ready, start dating too. Focus on you. Heal, because if he cones back the issues must be gone in order for them to last. When you think of your ex think of a giant red stop sign. HUGE! And alter your mind.
Recommended Posts