ladylight Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 I'm new to this website, but have read some good things so hope I will get some idea what to do from here. I have been dating a really good man for the last several months. We've fallen in love, but feel like there is room for more. The problem is that our communication seems to be going south fast. Until October, he would send me thoughtful emails and texts, and say kind things (I've told him that this is something important to me). But now he doesn't seem to see this as worthwhile. I've even talked to him about it and he doesn't seem to regard it seriously. The irony is that he thinks that communication is the foundation to a good relationship. Now I try to talk about us our our relationship and get short, distracted answers -we talk more about the weather than us. I kind of feel like I don't know where to go from here.
TXGuy Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 Well, you have to stay true to what is important to you. Then decide whether you are getting enough out of the relationship. But, from a guy's point of view, constantly discussing the relationship and how wonderful you are can get tedious. It is difficult to keep up for any length of time.
JourneyLady Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 I'm new to this website, but have read some good things so hope I will get some idea what to do from here. I have been dating a really good man for the last several months. We've fallen in love, but feel like there is room for more. The problem is that our communication seems to be going south fast. Until October, he would send me thoughtful emails and texts, and say kind things (I've told him that this is something important to me). But now he doesn't seem to see this as worthwhile. I've even talked to him about it and he doesn't seem to regard it seriously. The irony is that he thinks that communication is the foundation to a good relationship. Now I try to talk about us our our relationship and get short, distracted answers -we talk more about the weather than us. I kind of feel like I don't know where to go from here. Oh man... I keep seeing this kind of situation here and it triggers my thoughts and emotions about the guy I was into I had to leave behind, because of the same thing. One thing I can tell you is that if you decide to do the fade, do not contact him and tell him why. I've had to do that two different times because I did not want to leave someone behind without telling them why. And both times, they just got pissed off at me and said I was needy, even though there was minimal contact. It's doltish. And it makes you wonder if they really do like you or are just taking their time hoping for something better. In my case, I was at a very low point (grief over family member) and seeing him was the sunshine I was holding onto. I thought we had something and had been mentioning him to a few close friends and family members. So don't do that either until you're officially together, if that ever happens. Nope, it's just not worth it to tell them why if we leave. They just get pissed off and the anger (I suppose) keeps them from missing us and makes working anything out in the future near impossible. (And the guy I left said the same thing about good communication. And then didn't walk the walk.)
Assasda Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 You do seem needy. The guy is content in the relationship, and I dont see any reason why you would want to talk about it. JourneyLady there was so needy, that she "Left someone behind", but still wanted to work something out in the future. My advice is to leave him alone, and just have fun with him. Hopefully you have friends of your own. Trust the guy, and basically stop trying to predict his every move.
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