708 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Maybe you guys are correct, but i find that the more i get out, workout, go on adventures, etc the better i feel. Staying inside the house for days with the blinds shut all day wont make you feel any better. Not my first breakup, hopefully will be the last They all suck, this one hurt the most due to her destructive behavior and cheating. Thing is, i know i can be happy and there are plenty of awesome girls out there so my confidence is pretty high. The fact that i dont have to deal with the thoughts of her cheating on me in the future helps a ton. Sorry for coming off brash, but i am just being real guys; improve yourself and you will feel much better. I am not saying you will forget all of it, but it will be easier and better. The more you feel sorry for yourself the worse it is.
Copelandsanity Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Maybe you guys are correct, but i find that the more i get out, workout, go on adventures, etc the better i feel. Staying inside the house for days with the blinds shut all day wont make you feel any better. Not my first breakup, hopefully will be the last They all suck, this one hurt the most due to her destructive behavior and cheating. Thing is, i know i can be happy and there are plenty of awesome girls out there so my confidence is pretty high. The fact that i dont have to deal with the thoughts of her cheating on me in the future helps a ton. Sorry for coming off brash, but i am just being real guys; improve yourself and you will feel much better. I am not saying you will forget all of it, but it will be easier and better. The more you feel sorry for yourself the worse it is. It depends on the length and depth of the relationship, and how it ended. 7 years is a long time, and he is going to experience a lengthy mourning process which will include denial, anger, bargaining and depression. Sometimes, trying too hard to "move on" is counter-productive because they become distractions from that process. That's not to say that he shouldn't exercise, have clean and healthy nutrition, get enough sleep and sunshine, spend time with friends and family, and keep himself mentally occupied with work and hobbies. He should try his best to accomplish those tasks. But it's much more important at this stage to take it easy, to not be too hard on himself if he has a setback at self-improvement...essentially, to be self-compassionate. If he wants to break something in rage, it's ok. If he wants to cry, that's alright, too. If he wants to take time to analyze what she did, what he did wrong, the dynamic of the relationship, what lessons he can learn for the future, he should do so. 2
Author StubbornSam Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 It depends on the length and depth of the relationship, and how it ended. 7 years is a long time, and he is going to experience a lengthy mourning process which will include denial, anger, bargaining and depression. Sometimes, trying too hard to "move on" is counter-productive because they become distractions from that process. That's not to say that he shouldn't exercise, have clean and healthy nutrition, get enough sleep and sunshine, spend time with friends and family, and keep himself mentally occupied with work and hobbies. He should try his best to accomplish those tasks. But it's much more important at this stage to take it easy, to not be too hard on himself if he has a setback at self-improvement...essentially, to be self-compassionate. If he wants to break something in rage, it's ok. If he wants to cry, that's alright, too. If he wants to take time to analyze what she did, what he did wrong, the dynamic of the relationship, what lessons he can learn for the future, he should do so. Very well said sir. I think if I tried to completely ignore (if it was even possible) my feelings, I would just be setting myself up for a complete meltdown at an unexpected time. Healing is the idea, and that means facing yourself and letting it happen naturally. I still think about her almost constantly, but I'm starting to not feel the sharp pains in my heart as often. That's a good sign.
Recommended Posts