purplesoccer34 Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 After breaking up with my ex in September, I went on a few dates but no one interested me, even though they were all nice guys. I went on a date a few days ago, and this one captured my interest a little more than the other guys have. He was good-looking, was extremely nice, and we had a lot to talk about. There were never any awkward moments. He asked if we could hang out again. The problem here is that I keep comparing this to how I felt when I was with my ex, and it's just not the same. When my ex and I went on our first date, I just didn't want the night to end. I was already very strongly attracted to him, and I liked him a lot. He had tons of flaws, but I didn't care because I liked him for who he was. But the thing with that is, I was good friends with my ex for 6 years before dating him, so when we went on our first date, I knew him pretty well. I have never met this current guy before our first date, so it was my first time even seeing him. I enjoyed talking to him, but I wasn't attracted to him physically. After an hour and a half, I was drained and felt like going home--it's wasn't the same as it was with my ex where I could've spent 1000 hours with him if I wanted to. Then again, I have never experienced physical attraction with anyone on the very first day that I met them--including my ex. So should I continue to see this guy and see if physical attraction develops? Is there a chance that I will develop those same intense feelings that I had towards my ex? Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Speaking as someone who went on 2 dates with a perfectly nice, gentlemanly, drama-free guy and whom i was not attracted to in the slightest - don't force it. I would say try to go on one more date, but you aren't there yet. Kudos for jumping back on the horse though, hopefully the next dates you go on are easier. You can't force attraction, and you can't string him along hoping that your feelings change. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 How the hell can a guy you barely know compare to a guy you've known for 6 years? Heck you probably had really strong feelings for your ex before you went on your first date right? Link to post Share on other sites
Kevin_D Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 These dates are usually quite awkward. I know that and that women tend to dig bad boys and that "attraction is not a choice". But do you want to know what is a choice? A successful relationship. You know, when I met my ex almost 7 years ago (the same ex dumped me 4 months ago), I wasn't attracted to her. I thought she had beautiful eyes and a nice smile, but she was insecure, wore too big clothes and was most a bit round-shouldered, like she was trying to look shorter. But then I started to compare her with the "sexy" girls, and realised that if she had the same confidence and wore the same clothes, she would look like a prom queen. I was going to use my brain this time. She was funny, smart, kind and incredibly beautiful - she just didn't realise that by then. So I gave it a shot. After a few months together, her confidence grew. She became a new person. It was like she started to shine. And guess what? I became so attracted to her that it was ridiculous. I was together with her for 6 years, and I not even once did I think "What if I would be happier with someone else?". Well, then one day she did a complete 180, lied to me, manipulated me and dumped me out of the blue, without shedding a single tear. But that's not the point. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I would say don't date him anymore. If you aren't physically attracted I doubt this will change. Don't waste his time. Link to post Share on other sites
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