hestia87 Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 So, I've been dating this guy I met online for 3 months now. Everything went actually pretty good - till yesterday. We haven't spoke about being exclusive till then - even thou he made some comments like he isn't seeing anyone else, but we never got to really talk about it. Yesterday, we were texting about random stuff and we somehow got to the exclusive talk. So to cut the conversation short, he told me that he likes me (yey) and that he hopes that I don't think that he is seeing someone else. I told him, that that's what I kinda believe since he still has his online profile up (I still have mine too). He only said that it's true but it won't be a problem to delete it if that's what I want. I didn't wanted to sound like too demanding and told him that it is up to him if he is deleting it or not. He just asked what would make me happy - and then I told him that I like him too and I want to be with him only. After that he never responded. I haven't contacted him ever since. But I'm still confused because I don't really understand what is going on. Why would he tell me that he likes me just to ignore me afterward? I just would like to hear a few opinions on this, because it never happened to me before and I don't know how to react to it...
babycakees Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 This is odd. Have you tried contacting him today? I would send him a text and see if he replies. I wouldn't say all is lost with this guy quite yet. Send a text and if you get no reply, at least you know.
Gaeta Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 I didn't wanted to sound like too demanding and told him that it is up to him if he is deleting it or not. He just asked what would make me happy - and then I told him that I like him too and I want to be with him only. After that he never responded. I haven't contacted him ever since. You didn't want to sound too demanding but instead you sounded not too interested in him having a profile up or not. See it's really important to be honest about how we feel when we date. Your true feelings are, if I can read between the lines, that you would like both your profiles be down, so why not just say that? After 3 months it's more than enough time for you 2 to take those down. So *call him* and have a conversation about this. After dating 3 months there is no more who contacts who first, you are past these games. 3
Author hestia87 Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 You didn't want to sound too demanding but instead you sounded not too interested in him having a profile up or not. See it's really important to be honest about how we feel when we date. Your true feelings are, if I can read between the lines, that you would like both your profiles be down, so why not just say that? After 3 months it's more than enough time for you 2 to take those down. So *call him* and have a conversation about this. After dating 3 months there is no more who contacts who first, you are past these games. In the text I wrote him about me liking him, I told him that I will take my profile down, because I want to focus on us.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 You didn't want to sound too demanding but instead you sounded not too interested in him having a profile up or not. See it's really important to be honest about how we feel when we date. Your true feelings are, if I can read between the lines, that you would like both your profiles be down, so why not just say that? After 3 months it's more than enough time for you 2 to take those down. So *call him* and have a conversation about this. After dating 3 months there is no more who contacts who first, you are past these games. I was thinking the same thing as I was reading. However, it is a little strange that he suddenly went silent. Call him and discuss it. If you want him to take his profile down, tell him that.
MidwestUSA Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 . he hopes that I don't think that he is seeing someone else. I told him, that that's what I kinda believe since he still has his online profile up (I still have mine too). From this point, he was expecting a bit more of an enthusiastic response from you. He wanted you to say 'of course I don't think you're still seeing others'. Now he's wondering how many other guys you've been seeing. He's going to take some time to think about it.
HappyLove Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 I hear what everyone is saying but I'm hoping he's not one of those guys who run as soon as you say GASP....I like you. Men are so weird sometimes.
Author hestia87 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 Update: we talked yesterday on the phone and it made me feel like he doesn't really know what he wants. He said that I was silent the past days and when I told him that it hurt me that he went silent on me, he said that we should talk about those things in person not on the phone. So we are gonna meet on the weekend. After that we talked on the phone like nothing really happened, he asked about my day and told me about his etc.
Eggplant Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 STOP USING TEXTING AS A MEDIUM FOR MAJOR EMOTIONAL CONVERSATIONS. (I know it's terrible style the all-caps, but it frustrates me). You see how he just didn't respond, creating 24 hours of panic? God I can't stand it. At least with your phone conversation, you could, in real time, ask for reassurance, gauge a wishy-washy tone, something ANYTHING. You didn't just leave the other person hanging. 1
Assasda Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 OP you sound totally insecure. Its like the guy smells your insecurities. You said that the guy went silent, but you went silent also. Stop trying to control the guy with your insecurities, if you want to talk to him. Call him. I dont see what all the fuss and overthinking is about
mangetout Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Update: we talked yesterday on the phone and it made me feel like he doesn't really know what he wants. He said that I was silent the past days and when I told him that it hurt me that he went silent on me, he said that we should talk about those things in person not on the phone. So we are gonna meet on the weekend. After that we talked on the phone like nothing really happened, he asked about my day and told me about his etc. He doesn't know what he wants says it all. He likes you but not enough to go exclusive. I personally think three months is long enough to know whether you should be deleting your profiles. If he is hesitant at this stage then I would dump him as it's clear he still wants to look around for something better. Set your boundaries and let him know. If he isn't sure by now then I would move on
HappyLove Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I think there's too much miscommunication going on here. He's right, talk about it in person and then see.
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