Nanners Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 My girlfriend and have been dating for almost two months now. But would you believe me when I say we've of only been on two dates where it was just me and her? The several other dates have been double dates with her best friend and my best friend. Dont get me wrong I dont mind the double dates. They are actually fun and all but its annoying whenever I plan a date with her and then the day before or the day of she mentions that she invited her best friend and my best friend along. It really gets under my skin when that happens. A couple nights ago was the worse case. I had asked her out a week in advanced to take her out to a nice resteraunt. The night before she was telling me she was exhausted and didn't feel like wanting to go out in public. I pitched the idea that she come over to my house and I could cook for her and we could watch our favorite shows together. She loved the idea Yesterday I got up early and went to the grocery store. While at the store I get a text from her telling me she was at her best friends house and didn't think she could make it tonight. I was mad to say the least. I ignored her text for about an hour and started to give her one worded responses. After a couple of hours of this she tells to go out side to meet her. I thought it was just going to be me and her but nope. Her best friend was sitting in the passenger seat. She convinced me to get into the car. She made feel like the third wheel for hours while she cruised. I think she got the hint that I was mad because after an hour went by she kicked her best friend out of the passenger seat and made me sit there. She was being all touchy and trying to get me to laugh. Not once did she say that she was sorry. After awhile I mentally forgave her and everything went back to normal. Do you guys think I should mention this to her? I know its just going to end up as a fight but I don't want her thinking its okay to combine best friend time with boyfriend time.
babycakees Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Yes. Definitely mention it. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship.
HappyLove Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Yes you need to communicate this to her. She may be thinking you're fine with this and you aren't. She can't read your mind.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Just a moment here, OP. Is this the same girl you've created many other threads about? If I understand correctly, this is the same girl who: initially refused to meet you alone because she'd heard false rumours that you'd stalked an ex, wouldn't let you kiss her, didn't want to be called your girlfriend, and has basically balked at the idea of a relationship. What does all of this tell you? You two aren't making any progress, really. She clearly still has serious reservations about you and being in a relationship. She looks for reasons not to be alone with you. That is very odd indeed, and indicates she's just not ready for this. You seem to want a steady girlfriend, and she doesn't seem prepared to be that person to you. You either need to have a serious discussion with her, or walk away from it. (Or both) You're going to continue getting hurt if you don't lay your cards on the table and get her to do the same. Something is very off about this scenario.
Author Nanners Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 Just a moment here, OP. Is this the same girl you've created many other threads about? If I understand correctly, this is the same girl who: initially refused to meet you alone because she'd heard false rumours that you'd stalked an ex, wouldn't let you kiss her, didn't want to be called your girlfriend, and has basically balked at the idea of a relationship. What does all of this tell you? You two aren't making any progress, really. She clearly still has serious reservations about you and being in a relationship. She looks for reasons not to be alone with you. That is very odd indeed, and indicates she's just not ready for this. You seem to want a steady girlfriend, and she doesn't seem prepared to be that person to you. You either need to have a serious discussion with her, or walk away from it. (Or both) You're going to continue getting hurt if you don't lay your cards on the table and get her to do the same. Something is very off about this scenario. Yes it is. However I don't know about the kissing part yet. Like I've said we've basically only been on double dates so when I drop her off and want to kiss her someone is watching. Also she said I could call her my girlfriend but wouldn't give me a definite answer as to how she viewed me Not that im defending her. I agree with you something is very off. Its odd to me that she has said to her best friend that she doesn't want a relationship but what we are in I and many others, including het best friend, view as a relationship. Seeing all this written out has gave me the confidence to ask her why shes acting the way she is today. We are suppose to skype in about an hour. I'll give you guys an update on what she says because I have a feeling her response is going to confuse me more than anything.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 I think after two months you'd know if she was interested. She doesn't appear to be, to be really honest. I get you might not be comfortable kissing her in front of other people, but she seems to be making it difficult to spend time alone with you. That should be a huge red flag that for some reason she's avoiding being intimate with you. Also, if I've been seeing someone a couple of months and there's still not been even a kiss, I wouldn't consider that person my girlfriend/boyfriend. It sounds more like hanging out; she's even said to other people that she isn't ready for a relationship. I think you need to ask her directly what she wants from this. Then decide if you're willing to stick around. I think you might be wasting your time with her, though, OP. 1
HappyLove Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Just a moment here, OP. Is this the same girl you've created many other threads about? If I understand correctly, this is the same girl who: initially refused to meet you alone because she'd heard false rumours that you'd stalked an ex, wouldn't let you kiss her, didn't want to be called your girlfriend, and has basically balked at the idea of a relationship. What does all of this tell you? You two aren't making any progress, really. She clearly still has serious reservations about you and being in a relationship. She looks for reasons not to be alone with you. That is very odd indeed, and indicates she's just not ready for this. You seem to want a steady girlfriend, and she doesn't seem prepared to be that person to you. You either need to have a serious discussion with her, or walk away from it. (Or both) You're going to continue getting hurt if you don't lay your cards on the table and get her to do the same. Something is very off about this scenario. Oh, this is THAT girl? You're getting what you deserve at this point. You choose to ignore red flags so..... 'People show you who they are the first time. Believe them.' ~ Dr Maya Angelou
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