Keenly Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 lol Well I agree on that one, so many people who are not fit to be parents have babies. But that's the whole biological thing again... if you are extremely attracted to a person, then it means your genes want to get together and make an offspring. Women have to be pickier because one offspring takes nearly a year, whereas a man can make so many more offspring within the same period of time thus he isn't required to be as selective. And again this is a generalization. SO many women don't have kids because they can't find the right man. How many attractive and successful women you know who get knocked up? Not many. Most 'knock ups' are just the average females that men actually approach and are not intimidated or fearful. (In other words, the average women get laid far more than the beautiful, successful ones, thus their chances of getting pregnant obviously increase.) So back to square one. Successful and beautiful females are often single and babyless because men, for whatever reason, don't approach. Those that get "knocked up" are the ones who are approachable or that men do not fear to approach, a.k.a not extremely successful and attractive women. Which is kinda contradictory if you think about it. Shouldn't the most successful and beautiful women be the most desirable? I guess not since men rarely approach them and would rather go the easy route with the girl next door (or whatever that expression is lol). I have never in my life seen or heard of what you getting at. Beautiful women have all the options in the world. If a beautiful woman for whatever reason finds herself in that situation , she needs to learn how to approach.
Author Hopeful30 Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 If a beautiful woman for whatever reason finds herself in that situation , she needs to learn how to approach. But we've covered this. She's either considered too aggressive, desperate and even some posters mentioned that they wouldn't exactly know how to behave or interact in a situation like that because they're not used to being hit on by women (especially beautiful ones).
hasaquestion Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 We do reject most women that we see....just not in the way they reject us. Generally, a rejection from a guy is either not approaching them at all or not trying harder when they play hard to get. I've found that many women become interested once you show them that you are really interested in a confident way. But I agree with you in that I believe hasaquestion is actually female. Correct. Men "reject" women by not making a move on them. When they want something, they take it. And I am definitely male. I'm also not Brett Favre and not in the mood to provide photographic evidence, so think what you will.
Keenly Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 But we've covered this. She's either considered too aggressive, desperate and even some posters mentioned that they wouldn't exactly know how to behave or interact in a situation like that because they're not used to being hit on by women (especially beautiful ones). So you give up? You just stop doing entirely because SOME men are idiots? Alright, you can make the choice to be passive and sit around and wait for some prince charming to sweep you off your feet. Or you can suck it up and get out there and find some one on your own terms. You can handle the rejection. I know you can. By the way ive never in my life EVER Met a man that would stick his nose up at a pretty girl hitting on him. that really sounds like an excuse to not put yourself out there.
Author Hopeful30 Posted March 14, 2014 Author Posted March 14, 2014 (edited) So you give up? You just stop doing entirely because SOME men are idiots? Alright, you can make the choice to be passive and sit around and wait for some prince charming to sweep you off your feet. Or you can suck it up and get out there and find some one on your own terms. You can handle the rejection. I know you can. By the way ive never in my life EVER Met a man that would stick his nose up at a pretty girl hitting on him. that really sounds like an excuse to not put yourself out there. You're putting words in my mouth. Who said sticking nose up in the air? Who said I'm gonna stop trying? What are you talking about? lol And it has nothing to do with prince charming. It's just attractive when a man has enough courage/confidence to go after a woman he wants. Period. Edited March 14, 2014 by Hopeful30
rahul gupta Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 its because some guys r afraid to ask ur number...because they might have thought u may reject him....so do what is don't wear exposed cloths and ..all u wear should a very simple one....so u may look beautiful and decent this all a good guy wants..and it's there will be someone better waiting fr u ..have patience ...nd keep smiling take care ))))
Keenly Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 You're putting words in my mouth. Who said sticking nose up in the air? Who said I'm gonna stop trying? What are you talking about? lol And it has nothing to do with prince charming. It's just attractive when a man has enough courage/confidence to go after a woman he wants. Period. I'm just trying to help get you out of your single rut you say you are stuck in. A lot of men find it equally attractive if a woman does the same thing, so don't be discouraged by some man lacking the ability to adapt to a new situation (a woman coming on to them). The passive approach of days past of the woman waiting for a man to approach, while it may have a certain romantic attractiveness to it, is a method that leaves almost everything out of your control. I don't know about you, but when it comes to something I want really badly, I do not like it when I don't have a say in it. Meaning I know you want guys to hit on you, preferably ones you are also interested in, but since you'd have zero influence in when that ever took place (other than passive influence such as how good you look that day, a smile across the room, etc) I'd still strongly encourage you to not be afraid to go up to a random guy and ask him how his day is. To quote the movie Big Daddy, "initiating the conversation is half the battle." I believe it. If you can just get a guy to start talking, with an interested smile on your face, its probably going to make it a lot easier for any interest to just flow naturally in your direction. On paper anyway. 2
Bruce Leigh Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 I think what Hopeful30 is questioning why beautiful successful women cant find men. Found this article: Why Are So Many Professional Millennial Women Unable To Find Dateable Men? - Forbes Is this really how successful beautiful women think? I know its only one woman writing this piece but Hopeful30, do you hear anything like this from your beautiful successful friends?
Frank2thepoint Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 I think what Hopeful30 is questioning why beautiful successful women cant find men. Found this article: Why Are So Many Professional Millennial Women Unable To Find Dateable Men? - Forbes Is this really how successful beautiful women think? I know its only one woman writing this piece but Hopeful30, do you hear anything like this from your beautiful successful friends? I read the article and I can attest that many of the successful, Millennial women in NYC truly think this way. I've met this kind of women, even overheard them talking about such topics. But the mentality comes with the territory. NYC breeds success, so its inhabitants will definitely demand it out of their partners.
topaMAXX Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 lol Well I agree on that one, so many people who are not fit to be parents have babies. But that's the whole biological thing again... if you are extremely attracted to a person, then it means your genes want to get together and make an offspring. Women have to be pickier because one offspring takes nearly a year, whereas a man can make so many more offspring within the same period of time thus he isn't required to be as selective. A good female friend of mine made a good point when we were talking about mating habits. One of my other friends mentioned how monogamy was unnatural and started talking about gorillas. She responded with something along the lines of "Yes, we once acted like gorillas. Then we evolved. Monogamy has become natural for us because it has become more beneficial for us." This is how I've come to view the biological argument on things: complete and utter nonsense. People are affected by society way more than biology. When people use the biology argument, it's a cop out and justifying bad behavior that exhibited no foresight. Another reason why I am against welfare for single mothers (but that argument is beyond the scope of this thread). And again this is a generalization. SO many women don't have kids because they can't find the right man. How many attractive and successful women you know who get knocked up? Not many. Most 'knock ups' are just the average females that men actually approach and are not intimidated or fearful. (In other words, the average women get laid far more than the beautiful, successful ones, thus their chances of getting pregnant obviously increase.) So back to square one. Successful and beautiful females are often single and babyless because men, for whatever reason, don't approach. Those that get "knocked up" are the ones who are approachable or that men do not fear to approach, a.k.a not extremely successful and attractive women. Which is kinda contradictory if you think about it. Shouldn't the most successful and beautiful women be the most desirable? I guess not since men rarely approach them and would rather go the easy route with the girl next door (or whatever that expression is lol). This is just crazy talk. Every legitimately beautiful, successful woman that I know is married. I work with TONS of women like this. I also work with overweight, ugly, old women with awful attitudes that have careers as well. These women are alone and bitter. I've yet to meet any sweet, caring, beautiful, successful woman that has not found a mate. 2
Leigh 87 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 (edited) Look, until the OP provides pictures, I simply don't believe that she is so beautiful. Beautiful women are rare. I have perfect teeth, a killer body shape and large stand out eyes - and I am 100% average. A 5/10, with a few very nice features that still don't put me into the "beautiful" category. It is hard to believe the OP is one of the rare few beauties out there. And I still get guys. Lots of them. A lot of men have sworn that they find me beautiful, but I am not foolish or stuck up enough to then go and play the whole " wow I am so beautiful, guys must be intimidated" card. Women need to be more down to earth! So what if people tell you that you're beautiful. It DOESN'T mean you are. You are just attractive to them the people who tell you that you're gorgeous. The vast majority of people could very well find you plain or even unattractive. Just don't take the word of a few well wishes and men who think you look nice. It doesn't mean you're some intimidating beautiful woman. I just find that a lot of people have an overly inflated perception of their own attractiveness. Seriously. If they OP is that stunning she must be giving off some very negative vibes for men to be so stand offish or uninterested. Edited March 15, 2014 by Leigh 87 2
topaMAXX Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 I think what Hopeful30 is questioning why beautiful successful women cant find men. Found this article: Why Are So Many Professional Millennial Women Unable To Find Dateable Men? - Forbes Is this really how successful beautiful women think? I know its only one woman writing this piece but Hopeful30, do you hear anything like this from your beautiful successful friends? I wouldn't take this article very seriously. First, the author is average looking at best. Second, she spends a lot of time interviewing a writer at Jezebel. No quality woman that is marriage-quality takes Jezebel (a man-hating delusional website) seriously.
Bruce Leigh Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 I wouldn't take this article very seriously. First, the author is average looking at best. Second, she spends a lot of time interviewing a writer at Jezebel. No quality woman that is marriage-quality takes Jezebel (a man-hating delusional website) seriously. I did say it is only one woman writing but seeing as it was published by Forbes i thought the piece held a little bit more relevance in regards to successful women in general. Beauty has always been in the eye of the beholder though, thank god that will remain unchanged.
Weezy1973 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 I think what Hopeful30 is questioning why beautiful successful women cant find men. Found this article: Why Are So Many Professional Millennial Women Unable To Find Dateable Men? - Forbes Is this really how successful beautiful women think? I know its only one woman writing this piece but Hopeful30, do you hear anything like this from your beautiful successful friends? Not exactly rocket science. Basically it says that women that focus on their education and career instead of marriage and relationships have a great education and career, but struggle with relationships. Who knew that working hard and putting effort into something actually pays dividends?
ltjg45 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Look, until the OP provides pictures, I simply don't believe that she is so beautiful. Beautiful women are rare. I have perfect teeth, a killer body shape and large stand out eyes - and I am 100% average. A 5/10, with a few very nice features that still don't put me into the "beautiful" category. It is hard to believe the OP is one of the rare few beauties out there. And I still get guys. Lots of them. A lot of men have sworn that they find me beautiful, but I am not foolish or stuck up enough to then go and play the whole " wow I am so beautiful, guys must be intimidated" card. No, Leigh, I don't believe you are average looking at all. Looking at your avatar and the descriptions in the first bolded part of your message tells me that you aren't average. I would have dated women who didn't have perfect teeth and large stand out eyes that I considered "to be average". You? You are above average. If anything, you are close to looking like a model especially if you can dress well which I am sure you can do since you get tons of guys interested in you, as noted in my second bolded part of your response. In fact, you are so beautiful that I would be intimidated to approach you. You would actually look perfect compared to others. I almost never seen women of your looks down here in Jacksonville FL. Someone like you is truly a diamond in the dust. But I am sure you don't believe me and that's fine. Sometimes, I can't even believe myself and what I am saying either.
ltjg45 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Let me fill you in on the issue of the male way of thinking that affects tons of guys just like me. One of the main things a male values above all else is his value. What he can bring to a relationship, what he can do professionally, etc etc. That is his core being as a male. That is the only thing he cares about more than anything else. And society respects that. The men that is the most successful tend to be talked about the most. They show up in magazine covers, in movies, getting massively huge paychecks, etc etc. The biggest benefit that comes from this is obviously a ton of attraction from tons of beautiful women. However, that is also his biggest weakness. If a male feels he hasn't did enough to be respected by other males or wanted by other female, how can he feel he will be good enough for a woman he actually want? Women don't want failures as potential partners. And frankly, can you blame them? That is my pitfall. I hasn't did anything that gives me the right to date the women I truly want. I can't blame the women I truly want to reject me because I failed to meet the few standards they ask for in a potential mate. If a woman has more to offer than me, then why would she want me? And, last I checked, I have NEVER saw, let alone meet, a woman with your looks, Leigh, that is working a entry-level retail job at Wal-Mart. If I do, then something's wrong with that picture and I typically find out pretty quickly. This is why I am not dating. It is not because I don't want to date. It is because the women I truly want will not be content in a male that has so little to offer and the women that is available to me at my income level, I can't take them seriously as potential long-term partners due to many different reasons. 1
Tayken Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Well plenty of cute women get overlooked unless they have cool stye or something about them that stands out and a guy happens to take a liking to. That's how I get approached. ... a guy will comment on my outfit and my sense of style. It stands out enough to get noticed. . If I am honest with myself, I wouldn't ever get approached if I wore no make up and had my hair in a messy ponytail. With a bland outfit. I wear cute dresses, have my hair very long... I have 80 bags (I collect them) I have fun with my outfits. Guys sometimes notice. . Plus I'm friendly and not loud or over the top, personality wise. Now...what kind of "guys" are we talking about here, and what is a typical example of this "cute dress" you speak of? Personally, unless a woman is conservatively dressed, I don't particularly give them a 2nd look...don't like any of that slutty / things hanging out look. Nobody wants their partner looking like that....well any reasonable man On the makeup, for those that use is religiously, don't you think it's like being bipolar i.e. lying to a guy that this is what I look like when in fact once the makeup comes off...you are a different person? 1
lino Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 I have never in my life seen or heard of what you getting at. Beautiful women have all the options in the world. If a beautiful woman for whatever reason finds herself in that situation , she needs to learn how to approach. Neither have I. It's all just smoke screen to hide the fact she, and many others are super picky. 1
lino Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Correct. Men "reject" women by not making a move on them. When they want something, they take it. And I am definitely male. I'm also not Brett Favre and not in the mood to provide photographic evidence, so think what you will. I met 3 of my brother-in-law's aunties on Saturday night. I didn't make a move on any of them... I guess they must feel rejected hey? Never heard a more absurd assumption than your quote above.
Frank2thepoint Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 We do reject most women that we see....just not in the way they reject us. Generally, a rejection from a guy is either not approaching them at all or not trying harder when they play hard to get. I've found that many women become interested once you show them that you are really interested in a confident way. I have to agree on the emphasized point. I had to think on my behavior and mindset when I choose not to approach a woman and came to realize it's because I "reject" the woman due to some reason. For example, a woman that is overly dressed up, wear pounds of makeup, I assume they are high maintenance. Dressed up, on the hunt, to bag herself a much more sophisticated man. I have no evidence if the woman is high maintenance herself and if she had just decided to dress up for whatever rare occasion when I encountered her, but I end up judging her nevertheless. Since high maintenance is not what I am attracted to, I "reject" her and never even bother approaching. Personally, I find a woman that is in jeans, shirt, and sneakers/flats, but kempt appearance, far more approachable. I figure a woman in such attire is relaxed, not on the defensive, and less judgmental especially when approaching her in equal appearance. But looks are only one aspect of the "rejection". Other stimuli can affect my choice in "rejecting" a woman by not even approaching her in the first place. A few weeks ago I went into a French pastry shop in my neighborhood. A small store, with some seating, there was a cute woman sitting by herself, with a book opened but face down, drinking coffee, while playing with her phone. She looked up at me for a fraction of second and looked back down at her phone. I did not get the impression of interest or shyness. I determined it was of complete disinterest. Even though the setting was perfect for approaching her, introducing myself, and asking what she is reading as a conversation starter, I "rejected" her by not even trying because her quick, disinterested glance, was enough to dissuade me. Granted I could of been completely wrong to judge that she was disinterested, but going by the initial encounter and what I perceived about her body language, did not motivate me to approach her.
topaMAXX Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 I did say it is only one woman writing but seeing as it was published by Forbes i thought the piece held a little bit more relevance in regards to successful women in general. Beauty has always been in the eye of the beholder though, thank god that will remain unchanged. Yes, but there's objective beauty and subjective beauty. This woman is not objectively beautiful. She is average, but thinks she's very hot. This is likely where her problem lies, as she probably rejects guys in the same league as her. I suspect that OP has similar self image issues to this writer.
Leigh 87 Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Now...what kind of "guys" are we talking about here, and what is a typical example of this "cute dress" you speak of? Personally, unless a woman is conservatively dressed, I don't particularly give them a 2nd look...don't like any of that slutty / things hanging out look. Nobody wants their partner looking like that....well any reasonable man On the makeup, for those that use is religiously, don't you think it's like being bipolar i.e. lying to a guy that this is what I look like when in fact once the makeup comes off...you are a different person? I don't wear skanky dresses. I wore a DVF wrap dress in a rich pink and white 3D looking pattern today. Long, to the knees. With my chest area pronounced but I wouldn't say that being able to see the shape of a womans boobs was necessarily skanky. It was not low cut enough to be considered unclassy. Maybe the OP wears skanky clothes. Who knows. Many men don't approach women who can't dress appropriately. There's a funny show on about people who, due to the way that they dress, miss out on dating, rarely get approached and get generally avoided by people.
hasaquestion Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 I met 3 of my brother-in-law's aunties on Saturday night. I didn't make a move on any of them... I guess they must feel rejected hey? Never heard a more absurd assumption than your quote above. Ok I guess I could have phrased that better. But what is "rejection"? "Rejection" is making a decision one way or another about the suitability of a potential partner. Men make that decision pre-approach. Women make it post-approach. You see a woman, decide you don't find her attractive, and choose not to approach. That is your way of rejecting them as a male. Comparing men rejecting women verbally to women rejecting men verbally is apples to oranges.
lino Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 Says who? To insinuate that not asking someone out is the same as turning down a proper invitation is ridiculous, sorry. How would a girl even know a guy walking past her is rejecting her simply because he didn't make a move? Can they read his mind? Of course girls reject men at post-approach, they rarely do any approaching! Rejection is the refusal of a clear cut invitation extended by another. A person walking by another person and not making a move on them IS NOT a rejection. It's someone simply walking around and minding their own business. F*ck me this is getting pathetic now... A guy can't even simply walk by strangers without being accused of something!
hasaquestion Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Says who? To insinuate that not asking someone out is the same as turning down a proper invitation is ridiculous, sorry. How would a girl even know a guy walking past her is rejecting her simply because he didn't make a move? Can they read his mind? Of course girls reject men at post-approach, they rarely do any approaching! Rejection is the refusal of a clear cut invitation extended by another. A person walking by another person and not making a move on them IS NOT a rejection. It's someone simply walking around and minding their own business. F*ck me this is getting pathetic now... A guy can't even simply walk by strangers without being accused of something! Which is why saying "men don't reject women as much as women reject men" is patently absurd. Of course men don't reject women. Its the man who walks up to the woman. Why would a man approach a woman, and then turn her down? That's silly. Some men are picky. Some women are picky. Some men are not picky. Some women are not picky. Generally everyone goes after the picky folks on both sides of the aisle though, so the non-picky ones feel left out.
Recommended Posts