alexjames Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 If any of you have read my threads (sorry to those of you who have, they have been pretty depressing!) But you will know that I have struggled over the last few months to get completely over my ex, and that meeting new girls just doesn't happen for me! Well I have been on an online dating site (please don't judge, its pretty much the only chance I have and even then its extremely slim!!). For the first time in ages, I got a reply on there, from what I would call a really cute, pretty girl with similar interests etc. We spoke a little, and got each others number. Yesterday, we were texting, not much it has to be said, but just asking little things about each other, and she said that I don't seem like other guys, because she said I am really kind and caring and that I don't seem the type of person to just want to ''hook up'' which I don't. She was out last night and so was I, and it happened to be we were in the same club (I text her asking where she was and she told me). I text her asking where she was in there and I didn't get a reply. I rang her a while later (baring in mind I had never spoke to her in my life, it had all been through texting etc, but after a few drinks I felt brave enough!) and I tried to ask where she was, but I couldn't hear a word she was saying, and after a while she hung up, as it was just noise on the phone! Me and my friend sat on a table for a bit, and I told her exactly where I was, and that she should come over if she wanted too (I didn't want to find her as I've only seen a few pictures of her, so wouldn't be certain who she was in a club full of people!) she replied saying that her and her mates were then going somewhere else. I asked if I could get her a quick drink before they left and her reply was ''no honestly, I'm alright, we're now going''. I said that its a shame and it would have been nice to meet her, and that hopefully next time she is out, I will buy her a drink, and all she wrote was ''yeah maybe xx''. I left it and when I eventually got home, at around 4:30, I just sent her a text saying ''hope you had a nice night tonight, mine was great I will ask though, have I put you off speaking to me? I hope I haven't, but if I have, then I'm really sorry xx'' to which she replied ''had good night, now in bed tired Chat tomorrow xx''. I really don't want to stuff this up though, as finally there is a nice girl who said she wants to get to know me, and that I am the only one from the site she was talking too because the others only wanted one thing etc, and I'd love to get to know her, but does it seem, even with just those texts and the fact she wouldn't meet me etc, seem like she maybe isn't interested? Has anyone got any tips on how to really get her to take notice of me, so to speak?! I'm not going to lie, I am useless with girls, get told I'm ''too nice'' etc, so I really want to keep her interested, and try and get a date with her, as once you have met, it makes it a bit easier. I did ask her Friday night (We first spoke on the morning of that day) if she wanted to go for a coffee on Sunday (today) but she said that she was sorry, because she couldn't as she was ''busy all day''. Do I give up?! Sorry for the massive story!
ExpatInItaly Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 I'm sorry, OP, but I wouldn't contact her again. She had the chance to meet you and chose not to. Granted, it's quite early and she may have not felt comfortable yet. But given you were in the same club and she didn't seem interested in finding you or having a drink together makes me think that she's not into it, or was with another guy. Don't text or call her again. If she wants to, she will get in touch with you. She knows you're interested so the ball is in her court now. You've done all you can do. 1
Author alexjames Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 I'm sorry, OP, but I wouldn't contact her again. She had the chance to meet you and chose not to. Granted, it's quite early and she may have not felt comfortable yet. But given you were in the same club and she didn't seem interested in finding you or having a drink together makes me think that she's not into it, or was with another guy. Don't text or call her again. If she wants to, she will get in touch with you. She knows you're interested so the ball is in her court now. You've done all you can do. Was worried someone would say that! It just seems that everytime, and I literally mean everytime, I am ''into'' someone, I either blow it, or am just never good enough! im ok once we have met once, but its getting to that stage in the first place
pickflicker Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Was worried someone would say that! It just seems that everytime, and I literally mean everytime, I am ''into'' someone, I either blow it, or am just never good enough! im ok once we have met once, but its getting to that stage in the first place Too much texting! You have her an opportunity to meet and she blew you off, don't keep asking. You just chased her away. Chill out. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Was worried someone would say that! It just seems that everytime, and I literally mean everytime, I am ''into'' someone, I either blow it, or am just never good enough! im ok once we have met once, but its getting to that stage in the first place Hm. I wonder how much you unknowingly communicate that you don't feel good enough. If a woman senses that, she will keep her distance. Can you elaborate a little more on why things haven't worked out in the past? That would help us give some suggestions about how to prevent it from happening again.
Author alexjames Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 Hm. I wonder how much you unknowingly communicate that you don't feel good enough. If a woman senses that, she will keep her distance. Can you elaborate a little more on why things haven't worked out in the past? That would help us give some suggestions about how to prevent it from happening again. If I'm out and about, nights out etc, I will never get any kind of attention from any girl, I'll be smiling and dancing etc and having a good time, happy, but even then they just walk off, online, I write a nice message to them, aimed at their profile and what they have written, but they take one look at my profile and never respond (I really do not have anything going for me in the looks department!). Me and my exes (I've been with 2 girls in the past, I'm 22 in 2 weeks, so it's not many) have both split just because of silly little arguments really, I think the second was my fault, I got jealous seeing her dancing with other guys, and told her that the fact she was always with them, grinding with other blokes, but never me, was a little upsetting, we fought and she ended it. The first one, my first and only love was the most heartbreaking moment I've ever had, we had arguments, but who doesn't? But she had depression, anxiety etc etc, and I just think she needed time alone so ended it. I loved her like nothing else!
Author alexjames Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 Had a reply about an hour and a half ago from her, just saying ''had good night, lol, I don't drink so got no hangover xD xx''. I replied, but she never text back. im not exactly hopeful!!
ExpatInItaly Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Had a reply about an hour and a half ago from her, just saying ''had good night, lol, I don't drink so got no hangover xD xx''. I replied, but she never text back. im not exactly hopeful!! What did you say in your reply?
Author alexjames Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 What did you say in your reply? We've text 2 or 3 times since, I indicated to her that I hope she doesn't feel like I'm hassling her etc and that if she doesn't want to talk, then all she has to do is let me know and I will leave her alone (I said it in a nice way though, not in a ''oi, you message me now'' kind of way haha!) and she said that she does want to talk, and I seem a genuinely nice guy etc, we spoke a tiny bit about our exes (how long we've been single etc) but it's far from a full on conversation, and sometimes she will leave it a couple of hours before replying, but I'll see how it goes, just kind of wish I knew to say something that will get her attention and really make her want to get to know me!!
ExpatInItaly Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 We've text 2 or 3 times since, I indicated to her that I hope she doesn't feel like I'm hassling her etc and that if she doesn't want to talk, then all she has to do is let me know and I will leave her alone (I said it in a nice way though, not in a ''oi, you message me now'' kind of way haha!) and she said that she does want to talk, and I seem a genuinely nice guy etc, we spoke a tiny bit about our exes (how long we've been single etc) but it's far from a full on conversation, and sometimes she will leave it a couple of hours before replying, but I'll see how it goes, just kind of wish I knew to say something that will get her attention and really make her want to get to know me!! Just stay away from this in the future; it can be quite off-putting early on. Also, I wouldn't stray into ex territory again. Keep it light and positive now.
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