keviprofen Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Is it supposed to be conventional for a guy to accept the kind of girl who changes the first date meeting time from let's say 6pm to 2pm because she suddenly is free at 2pm so she just said to meet at 2pm on the day of meeting on a Sunday? I was upset because I wanted to catch a movie at 2:20pm because the movie has limited showtimes in certain cinemas only and now I have to accept to meet her at a time convenient for her...? She even told me she wanted to make a good impression of herself so she was like "maybe let's not meet today because my eyes are looking tired. And then she told me she preferred to meet on weekdays and not on weekends. So I said you wanna meet on weekdays instead? Then she replied a few words and then said to me "do you really want to meet me?". I replied yes I do so I said let's meet today at 6pm then! Right after that, she was like you know what, let's meet at 2pm". I told her about the 2:20pm movie but she didn't seem to quite care maybe because I just told her it was all right and I'll watch the movie online or something. But still... I already have some bad feelings about this girl. But I want to know if I am supposed to accept these kind of things simply because I am supposed to be a gentleman or something? Am I complaining too much? I don't have a lot of experience in long term relationships. All my relationships before were short mainly because I am afraid of long term relationship commitments. But I am approaching my 30s soon so I want to settle and get married soon. I just want to know if I am supposed to accept things like this, let the girl do this to me if I want to be in a long term relationship.
lollipopspot Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 But I want to know if I am supposed to accept these kind of things simply because I am supposed to be a gentleman or something? ...I just want to know if I am supposed to accept things like this, let the girl do this to me if I want to be in a long term relationship. No, it would be better if you said you had plans and reiterated that you wanted to meet at 6, unless you really didn't mind missing the movie. You are setting yourself up for resentment. When you say "let this girl do this to me" - it's really not her fault that it went this way. She's putting her preferences out there. If you accept it, you're doing it to yourself. If the only way to be in a relationship is to squash all your wants, then it would be better not to be in the relationship, I think. Relationships are ideally a compromise between what both parties want.
Silly_Girl Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 In just your second sentence you talk of 'having to accept her time change'. Er... who says? Who made that rule? Two adults, you find a time that's MUTUALLY convenient. Or don't go. Honestly, you'll be happier for it.
Author keviprofen Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 Relationships are ideally a compromise between what both parties want. Yeah you are right. So if the date cannot accept to compromise then I guess she's not the right one. What was I thinking...I should tell them what my terms are before moving forward with the relationship! Of course, not directly like a business deal or that'd be creepy and strange!
lollipopspot Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 I should tell them what my terms are before moving forward with the relationship! Yes - but just casually: "Oh sorry, I can't meet at 2, I have plans for the afternoon. If you can meet at 6 (or 5 or whatever will work for you) that works for me..."
d0nnivain Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Sometimes things come up. A time change shouldn't be all that big of a deal. I'm more concerned about her statement that she didn't want to meet because her eyes look tired. The whole bit about accepting a weekend date then saying she prefers weekday dates seems odd. She should not have accepted the weekend date to begin with. If this already doesn't feel right to you, don't continue It's too early to get bogged down in somebody else's drama
Got it Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 Is it supposed to be conventional for a guy to accept the kind of girl who changes the first date meeting time from let's say 6pm to 2pm because she suddenly is free at 2pm so she just said to meet at 2pm on the day of meeting on a Sunday? I was upset because I wanted to catch a movie at 2:20pm because the movie has limited showtimes in certain cinemas only and now I have to accept to meet her at a time convenient for her...? She even told me she wanted to make a good impression of herself so she was like "maybe let's not meet today because my eyes are looking tired. And then she told me she preferred to meet on weekdays and not on weekends. So I said you wanna meet on weekdays instead? Then she replied a few words and then said to me "do you really want to meet me?". I replied yes I do so I said let's meet today at 6pm then! Right after that, she was like you know what, let's meet at 2pm". I told her about the 2:20pm movie but she didn't seem to quite care maybe because I just told her it was all right and I'll watch the movie online or something. But still... I already have some bad feelings about this girl. But I want to know if I am supposed to accept these kind of things simply because I am supposed to be a gentleman or something? Am I complaining too much? I don't have a lot of experience in long term relationships. All my relationships before were short mainly because I am afraid of long term relationship commitments. But I am approaching my 30s soon so I want to settle and get married soon. I just want to know if I am supposed to accept things like this, let the girl do this to me if I want to be in a long term relationship. She is showing you who she is. You either like what you see or don't. Not sure if she is just flaky, disrespectful or what but doesn't sound like a good match. That is the beauty of dating. Dating, like recruiting, shows people are their best impression in the beginning. If this is her best impression, and know it is going to get more relaxed from here, do you like what you see?
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