surf123 Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 First off I'd like to say that this site has helped me a ton in the past 2 weeks as I've been going through a bad break up from a 3 year relationship. I just wanna say thank you for the help and advice. With that being said its been really hard for me to follow the NC rule. I really love and care about the girl I was dating. All I want to do is just contact her and try and work things out. I feel like NC will just shot down any chance of working anything out. I'm a firm believer in expressing how you feel but the NC rule doesn't really let you do that for understood reasons. However, if you were to try and want to work things out with your ex shouldn't you try and contact them to put in the effort to do so?? Maybe its just wishful thinking that if I try and put myself out there that she will if fact try again. In most cases however I know this isn't true but you never really know unless you try. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.
Economist70 Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 I was in a similar situation (Out of a relationship less than 3 years though). All I wanted to do was talk to her like we used to talk before we went out and during. But every time I did, I either hit a brick wall or upset her because I was searching for answers (She dumped me). If she wants to text you she'll do it in her own time, but don't jump the gun because I did and possibly ruined our friendship. It's a sh*tty situation and I feel you, but hold out and perhaps she'll realise how much she misses you. 1
verity123 Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 I was in a similar situation (Out of a relationship less than 3 years though). All I wanted to do was talk to her like we used to talk before we went out and during. But every time I did, I either hit a brick wall or upset her because I was searching for answers (She dumped me). If she wants to text you she'll do it in her own time, but don't jump the gun because I did and possibly ruined our friendship. It's a sh*tty situation and I feel you, but hold out and perhaps she'll realise how much she misses you. Missing someone is truly horrible. I know, I have low contact after a six year relationship now. I have gone a week on my own volition, hurts like hell. I know that my lover is undecided about what to do. I was pushing too much. I understand how you would want to talk even just a little. I do. Everyone says back off in this situation to let them think. but I know it is truly horrible and neither of us feels like we are living very much right now.
fixing Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 surf123 i know your hurting m8. But, she dumped you right??? Time to get back your self respect and think 'you know what? you dont want me? well **** you too! Even if you dont feel that way, adopt that stance. No contact is to protect your heart from being ripped apart by breadcrumbs. Dont fret, she will be in contact at some point especially after 3 years together. But be strong now and DO NOT CALL HER. Keep posting here.
Author surf123 Posted March 10, 2014 Author Posted March 10, 2014 Thanks for all the advice for those who responded. I've held pretty strong on the NC policy, other than after the first week apart messaging her and saying that I just missed and loved her very deeply and thought about her everyday. However, since then I haven't said anything to her. Its been a total of 2 weeks and I feel great at some times during the day and then other times just thinking about her a lot. Sometimes I'll do certain things that will remind me of her and it will get me upset. I try and stay as positive as one can in my current situation. I can say that this website has been a huge help for that! @fixing I've definitely had thoughts about the whole situation the way that you described how I should take this whole break up. To just say you know what if she doesn't like me then oh well f**k her too! 1
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