eotdevice Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Well perhaps a different point of view. I broke up with my girlfriend of 8 months today. Backstory, she is 43, me 42. I am divorced for over two years with three kids and she was never married and no kids. She had one ltr of 15 years and the guy was a complete jerk to her and definitely hurt her deeply. She is very shy. We met online and had many similarities with our families still having married parents, a family with four kids. Everything went well for 5 or 6 months and then it stagnated. I would go to her house and she would be doing her own thing when I showed up. Sometimes I would have to ask for a hello kiss. It wasn't automatic. She was a homebody where I like to go out. She has lots of don't dos...like wet kisses, kissing her cheeks, touching her hair. When being intimate I had to think more about what I couldn't do or touch rather than enjoying it. I have tried to discuss all this with her but she shuts down. Last night we went to a comedy show and she complained most of the time, she was out of her element, wouldn't give me a hug in public, or even hold my hand. I kissed her goodnight and tossed and turned when I went home to sleep. I felt horrible and today I decided to end it. I told her how sorry I am and the reasons why it was not working. She begged, pleaded for me not to do this. My decision hasn't changed but I still feel horrible that I ended it. She keeps texting an emailing and I am trying to go no contact but it's tough to just do it. Any advice?
mammasita Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 It's equally hard to be the dumper. You have obviously IMO done the best thing by breaking up. You've given her reasons and closure. The kindest thing you can do now is NC so you don't give her false hope of reconciliation.
Author eotdevice Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 Sadsadie, you are correct when she has something it drink (only one or two) her walls do come down a bit. But you are also correct she almost no self esteem and that is the same thing I had with my ex wife. The saddest part is this woman has a good soul but it may be damaged beyond repair and I just can't stick around until it's fixed. But that makes me feel selfish. Mamasita, thank you for your response. It is hard being the dumper! But in the end I just can't see a lifetime of living with this woman's problems.
herself Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 In a situation like this where it wasnt toxic and no one hurt eachother, maybe you can explain a few things more to help her prepare and do better for new relationship like her "rules, dos and donts" she can use your help I think a little, then go contact but tell her why and end gently. Just a suggestion.....
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