How important is being authentic?

[melell]

How much damage can it do in the long run if you don't 100% be yourself at the beginning of a relationship?

[bubbaganoosh]

I always lived by the Popeye wisdom. "I am what I am". I wont pretend to be what I'm not because sure as God made little green apples, it will come back on you.

[OldSchoolIsBack]

I think it's fine to be a little fake. But only for so long, and you hope you only go through 1 or 2 people to do it, and you slowly expose yourself to them by month 3. By the 3rd person, be real. It ain't workin'... (Just as long as, like grandma says, nobody gets hurt!!)

[oldshirt]

it depends on how much of decent person vs a jerk you are.

[jba10582]

Its probably healthy to slowly open yourself up to a many kinds of people because you do not know what their intent is or if it aligns with what you want, so, on some levels that would be completely natural, and it is probably more rare where you automatically click with someone right from the start and feel the level of comfort that is nice and genuine.

[devilish innocent]

It can be very damaging. Even a small lie can cause somebody to completely question everything you ever told them. It can completely destroy all the trust. Without trust, there will be no relationship.

 

You also can have somebody fall in love with the fake image you present. Once they found out who you really are, they'll lose interest. You'll waste your time with the wrong person.

 

You don't need to share every negative detail right away. To lie, though, is dumb.

[cocorico]

How much damage can it do in the long run if you don't 100% be yourself at the beginning of a relationship?

 

I can only be myself.

 

I suspect that if you are not fully authentic, you get trapped in a role that feels less and less sustainable.