hopefuldude Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 My girlfriend of 1 and a half years broke up with me. And although she had her faults too, I know that I mostly failed the relationship because I didn't treat her right. It wasn't that I was horrible to her. I was nice. But I think I didn't treat her like the girl I deeply loved. I treated her more like a good female friend. We wanted to talk it out but we ended up saying and doing awful things to each other. I don't want to try and get her back anymore. If we did get back together, I think we'd only end up in the same place as before. I think I have to work on myself as an individual first. The only thing I'm having trouble with is dealing with the fact that the break up was my fault. How do I live with that? How do I get over this relationship knowing that its end was mostly my fault?
OnTheRightPath Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 You are missing some important information. How long have you been broken up? How old are you?......if you don't mind. Time does make things easier but in my opinion if there is unresolved issues it may be tougher. Another thing is when a relationship ends usually both people share some of the blame......don't put the blame solely on yourself. Why not apologize if you feel you need to? And why do you think you treated her as only a good friend? Maybe you really weren't ready for a relationship? Only you know the answers to these questions and it may take some soul searching to figure it out. I do know that if you feel you have some sort of unfinished business it can be difficult to move forward. It's hard to push things out of your mind. If you don't want her back but you feel guilty for some reason then apologize and maybe you can get some closure. Just suggestions.....good luck to you.
Author hopefuldude Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 We're both 23. It's only been 2 weeks since the break up. About not being ready to be in a relationship.... Maybe? I'm not sure. I loved her. I really did. One thing that bothered her a lot was my focus on school (I'm in medical school). I tried to make time but it was just never enough. But looking back, when I had the chance to make time for her, we didn't really go out as a couple. It probably seemed more like 2 friends hanging out. I got so caught up and so busy that I didn't really treat her like someone who was special. Guilt is exactly what I'm feeling.
OnTheRightPath Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 It sounds like you have a good understanding of what went wrong and that's great. Considering you are only 23 and persuing a path of study that is very demanding and stressful.......I would think that you are handling this in a very mature manner. It is important to focus on your studies at this point in your life and it seems your ex may have been a bit selfish in not understanding this. With that being said, maybe in a few years you will be in a better place for a healthier relationship. I know it's cliche and break-ups hurt regardless of age......but you really are young and have your entire life ahead of you. If this break-up is causing you guilt and distracting you, then why don't you just apologize to her?......I think she may owe you an apology as well. At least if you get to a good place you may leave the door open for something down the road when you have the time to devote to a relationship. You may also find yourself in a completely different place. I don't think its selfish of you to concentrate on your studies. I never have trouble saying I'm sorry......I don't think it ever hurts to speak the truth about how you feel. I hope that makes sense.
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