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Posted

Many people posting about second chances have been in a relationship for quite some time. I only dated this man for a few months. Some may know the last guy I slept with broke up with me shortly after, on my answering machine which is very inmature. When he broke it off with me I was surprised as he acted like he really cared. He told his friends he really liked me, he called on a regular basis, he got obviously nervous around me at times, put up with PMS. I will say, he premature ejaculated. I don't mean it to poke fun at him, it happens and I liked him for him. But sort of wondered if that was a reason he bailed on me more than he got what he wanted.

 

My friend said he wanted to call me for a long time after but he knew I was angry. He called me last weekend and I ignored him, but he called again. I had nothing to lose by conversation and I made it clear I was dissapointed in how he handled things and didn't want to be involved sexually. He called this Friday afternoon as well. And I didn't call him back but when he called Saturday morning I picked up.

 

I don't know if I am a need for desire, a challenge of someone whose said no or if he genuinely misses me. I even considered asking him but would he tell me if it was one of the first two, probably not? He has talked about getting together but never makes any specific plans. I feel like if he liked me it would be hard for him to admit a mistake and he'd be hesitant to initiate anymore when he has called 4 times. Would it be wrong of me to give him a phone call? Based on my situation I shouldn't have to but life is not always perfect.

 

Normally I'd just let this kind of stuff go, but I am finding I'm having a hard time meeting people and having the same connection so am a little depressed about it all wondering what to do. If it is viewed badly for a woman to contact the man and I am giving him the wrong ideas, like sexual interest than I am better off being lonely!

 

:(

Posted

groovy,

 

my advice is DO NOT CALL HIM. He either pursues and spells it out or he doesn't. he broke up with you and he knows the deal. no excuses for him. you make it easy for him again and i guarantee he'll do the same thing again. ya gotta trust me on this.

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Posted

You are probably right. I have after all been open to him when he has called...for the most part anyway. I think the ONLY reason I am considering calling him is the whole terrible sexual performance. I don't know that he doesn't need a signal from me that I still liked him regardless.

Posted
Originally posted by Groovy

I think the ONLY reason I am considering calling him is the whole terrible sexual performance.

Funny. For me this would be a definitive reason not to call...

;)

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Posted

Despite that I still liked him, a lot and know he doesn't sleep around.

 

But what if he thinks he's a stud and I end up with an arrogant bastard blind to yet another fault. Someone whose like hey baby, let's have terrible sex no strings attached. I think despite he was bad in bed it still hurt my self esteem and I felt used. But I know I am in a bad place and am not going to make any mistakes. If he left out of embarassment I have been open enough to talk to him on the phone. He should initiate everything and in a delicate manner if I mean anything. You are right, in that phone call I am saying what he did was O.K and it's not even in that circumstance...... that is if he cared.

 

Thanks :bunny:

Posted

there are other guys that don't sleep around. granted, maybe fewer than those that are wanna be players who sleep with any girl that will have them but enough to make dating tolerable.

 

there are also other guys who will be better in bed. i understand that he has a problem but if he cared about you he'd try to please you somehow.

 

if he really wanted you back and really card about you, he'd step up. the question is do you really want to settle?

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