lionheart153 Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 It's been 2 months since we broke up. I miss her like hell. I've only completed 30 days of NC, and when NC was broken it was only to give her information to switch her number to her name and other small things we had to take care of. I find every day I wake up missing her, wishing she would call me. I'm doing my best to hold this NC. Any contact the last few times we had were all initiated by her. To which I either ignored or responded out of due diligence, such as responding to tell her how to switch hernumber to her name. I never got the reason for our break up. It seemed sudden and I am still in denial of it all I think. I've talked to friends and family, online, got great advice from everyone here on forums and others. I am even seeing a therapist. It all seems to be not working though. Our break up happened suddenly and at a time when I thought we were doing great. We were engaged, planning our wedding, we got into a small fight and it set everything off. She was a great person and my best friend even 3 years before we started dating. I just can't believe that she is this different person. She hasn't reached out to me at all to talk or anyting even though she did offer it once, to explain what happened. I did not take her up on her offer because I couldn't deal with it, and because it was not about getting back together I feared it would only hurt me more. I think my heart is trying to trick my brian into calling her. I know that she called and left a vm or msged those last few times she both times asked to talk or call but I ignored it and texted anything that needed to be sorted out instead. For some reason I think it was a sign that she wanted to talk and now after seeing me ignore her both times, knowing her stubborn personailty she won't initiate now. But again I think this is my heart telling my what I want to hear more so then what the truth is. I feel sick to my stomach today again, I miss her so much and just wish we could talk and try to work this out. I feel pathetic and sad. I wish it would all just go away.
Hoosfoos Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Just to let you know, I am in the same boat as you. I'm 3 + months out after being dumped after 2 years by whom I considered the love of my life. All the things I used to love to do (with her) I am no longer interested in doing. I feel like a part of my life has been stolen. I don't know if anything I have said can make you feel better, but I am letting you know that you are not alone with your feelings. Take care.
Mr Scorpio Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 You are not pathetic for still feeling sad two-months after being dumped by a fiancé whom you had known for years. I would consider it odd if you weren't still sad after so little time. Now, I'm assuming that by "go on" you mean "NC", as in "I'm don't know how much longer I can go on without contacting my ex". If that isn't the case, then you need to tell that to someone in your personal life. Otherwise, my advice is always to maintain NC. I wouldn't blame you if you were tempted to break it in order to attempt to understand why the relationship ended so suddenly. However, people don't tend to abandon those they love over "a small fight". In other words, she wasn't in love with you anymore. As bad as it is, it could have been worse had she actually gone through with the marriage. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to heal. Exercise, eat healthy, maintain social connections.
GarrusVakarian Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 It's been 2 months since we broke up. I miss her like hell. I've only completed 30 days of NC, and when NC was broken it was only to give her information to switch her number to her name and other small things we had to take care of. I find every day I wake up missing her, wishing she would call me. I'm doing my best to hold this NC. Any contact the last few times we had were all initiated by her. To which I either ignored or responded out of due diligence, such as responding to tell her how to switch hernumber to her name. I never got the reason for our break up. It seemed sudden and I am still in denial of it all I think. I've talked to friends and family, online, got great advice from everyone here on forums and others. I am even seeing a therapist. It all seems to be not working though. Our break up happened suddenly and at a time when I thought we were doing great. We were engaged, planning our wedding, we got into a small fight and it set everything off. She was a great person and my best friend even 3 years before we started dating. I just can't believe that she is this different person. She hasn't reached out to me at all to talk or anyting even though she did offer it once, to explain what happened. I did not take her up on her offer because I couldn't deal with it, and because it was not about getting back together I feared it would only hurt me more. I think my heart is trying to trick my brian into calling her. I know that she called and left a vm or msged those last few times she both times asked to talk or call but I ignored it and texted anything that needed to be sorted out instead. For some reason I think it was a sign that she wanted to talk and now after seeing me ignore her both times, knowing her stubborn personailty she won't initiate now. But again I think this is my heart telling my what I want to hear more so then what the truth is. I feel sick to my stomach today again, I miss her so much and just wish we could talk and try to work this out. I feel pathetic and sad. I wish it would all just go away. Sorry to hear about your situation. I am in month six since my separation from my wife. Found out she was having an affair with some 50 year old m arried man. To be sure I was devastated. When I see her now I wonder what happened to her, she is like a different person and the person I know isn't there anymore. I miss that person badly, but you do have to accept it at some point. You cant make her want to come back, anything you say will probably only make her not want to come back. Get out there and meet new people make new friends. That will help you move on. If she wants to come back months later, that's a decision your have to make. But she will have to do all the heavy lifting. All I can say and you will hear this a lot. It will get easier. Time will make you forget.
NomiMalone Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 2 months is only very early days yet, and it's normal for you to feel like crap, and to miss her. The break ups that were unexpected, or where the dumper didn't provide a reason, are the hardest to get over, because in these cases, there's no real closure for the person left. Often times, we're left in shock/denial to wonder WTF just happened, before we can even move on to process the situation and begin to heal. You've done well to stick to NC all this time, so whatever you do, don't ever, ever give into the temptation to break it. I promise you that one day, she'll no longer be the first thing you think about in the morning, and you won't even realise it. Millions of people the world over are going through the same thing right now, and millions have before us, and have come through on the other side. I know it's impossible for you to believe right now, but yes, one day, this will all go away 1
Author lionheart153 Posted March 10, 2014 Author Posted March 10, 2014 Just to let you know, I am in the same boat as you. I'm 3 + months out after being dumped after 2 years by whom I considered the love of my life. All the things I used to love to do (with her) I am no longer interested in doing. I feel like a part of my life has been stolen. I don't know if anything I have said can make you feel better, but I am letting you know that you are not alone with your feelings. Take care. I know that I'm not the first to get dumped like this and I won't be the last. I guess I feel alone when I am by myself alot. I miss her so much. Thank you for the sympathy. You are not pathetic for still feeling sad two-months after being dumped by a fiancé whom you had known for years. I would consider it odd if you weren't still sad after so little time. Now, I'm assuming that by "go on" you mean "NC", as in "I'm don't know how much longer I can go on without contacting my ex". If that isn't the case, then you need to tell that to someone in your personal life. Otherwise, my advice is always to maintain NC. I wouldn't blame you if you were tempted to break it in order to attempt to understand why the relationship ended so suddenly. However, people don't tend to abandon those they love over "a small fight". In other words, she wasn't in love with you anymore. As bad as it is, it could have been worse had she actually gone through with the marriage. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to heal. Exercise, eat healthy, maintain social connections. It may have been she fell out of love with me. It defiantly seemed confusing because she was flip flopping when the break up occurred. One day it was over, the next she wanted to think about it, then back to no, then back to trying to talk. but we never actually had a talk even. That was the problem i guess. If she fell out of love with me I wish she would have just talked to me. I asked her about that, if she fell out of love and she never answered me. The only reason she gave me was "I've been unhappy" which have fooled me, because I think I did a good job reading her. When she was unhappy I would always cheer her up or talk to her about it address it. So i guess that is why I feel so confused and lost. But who knows maybe I knew nothing about her, just because you knew someone for 6 years doesn't mean they can't change or that you can't be wrong Sorry to hear about your situation. I am in month six since my separation from my wife. Found out she was having an affair with some 50 year old m arried man. To be sure I was devastated. When I see her now I wonder what happened to her, she is like a different person and the person I know isn't there anymore. I miss that person badly, but you do have to accept it at some point. You cant make her want to come back, anything you say will probably only make her not want to come back. Get out there and meet new people make new friends. That will help you move on. If she wants to come back months later, that's a decision your have to make. But she will have to do all the heavy lifting. All I can say and you will hear this a lot. It will get easier. Time will make you forget. I hope it does... 2 months is only very early days yet, and it's normal for you to feel like crap, and to miss her. The break ups that were unexpected, or where the dumper didn't provide a reason, are the hardest to get over, because in these cases, there's no real closure for the person left. Often times, we're left in shock/denial to wonder WTF just happened, before we can even move on to process the situation and begin to heal. You've done well to stick to NC all this time, so whatever you do, don't ever, ever give into the temptation to break it. I promise you that one day, she'll no longer be the first thing you think about in the morning, and you won't even realise it. Millions of people the world over are going through the same thing right now, and millions have before us, and have come through on the other side. I know it's impossible for you to believe right now, but yes, one day, this will all go away Thank you, I hope that she will one day not be the first thing on my mind, but for now I guess i have to just learn to cope with this problem.
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