I have a date 3 days later, but still has feels for ex, and want to write her

[iDrumKing]

What is HS and "leading a girl on" means?

 

Sorry I should've been more clear. HS, in my case means High School.

 

Leading a girl on is when your give hint to a girl that your very interested in her and my want to pursue a relationship.

[iDrumKing]

But we skip an important part. She may not like me at all. I am low energy and lost my.self-respect. I dont like myself, how can she like me?

 

So, i dont think there will be any "leading" because she wont find me attractive.

 

Well you won't be building self respect any time soon if you keep talking like that.

 

Maybe you should take this time to do what you love and improve yourself? Maybe in doing so your confidence will build.

[Musing]

Every poster here assumes that she will like me and i will be the one leading relationship.

 

But we skip an important part. She may not like me at all. I am low energy and lost my.self-respect. I dont like myself, how can she like me?

 

So, i dont think there will be any "leading" because she wont find me attractive.

 

Oh my lanta.

You have to work on your self esteem and self love before you can try to date someone else.

 

Like I said if you want to hang out and get to know her further there is nothing wrong with that. But just tell her hey, let's hang out. And let her lead. If she starts coming onto you, be honest with her and tell her you have some issues you have to work out. Whatever she does is on her at that point.

 

She may or may not try to get with you. But just don't go into something giving out vibes that you want to be with this girl just for the sake of being with someone, you know? Or to get over your ex. Not only would it giving her a wrong impression but it could end up causing more drama ontop of what you're already dealing with.

Confusion, low self esteem, thinking of ex - these are the reasons most people chose not to date directly after a breakup. You got to ride these out before attempting to get fully involved with another person.

[halaluyaa]

Well you won't be building self respect any time soon if you keep talking like that.

 

Maybe you should take this time to do what you love and improve yourself? Maybe in doing so your confidence will build.

 

I am working 8am to 6 pm 5 days a week, studying on my masters degree 1.5 days a week. Going to gym 3-4 times a week. Do you think this is enough self-improvement?

 

Thats why i said i wont be able to meet her a lot. There is lots of things.going in my life. So while improving, i thought it would be nice to have a sweet gf.

 

Btw thanks for defining the terms. Now i undertand more.clearly.

[a0009]

Go on the date whether you still love your ex or not. Do not text your ex about it and you will only know if you can like the new girl if you go on dates with her. do not care and go

[halaluyaa]

Oh my lanta.

You have to work on your self esteem and self love before you can try to date someone else.

 

Like I said if you want to hang out and get to know her further there is nothing wrong with that. But just tell her hey, let's hang out. And let her lead. If she starts coming onto you, be honest with her and tell her you have some issues you have to work out. Whatever she does is on her at that point.

 

She may or may not try to get with you. But just don't go into something giving out vibes that you want to be with this girl just for the sake of being with someone, you know? Or to get over your ex. Not only would it giving her a wrong impression but it could end up causing more drama ontop of what you're already dealing with.

Confusion, low self esteem, thinking of ex - these are the reasons most people chose not to date directly after a breakup. You got to ride these out before attempting to get fully involved with another person.

 

I love you guys. You put your Precious times on internet to help someone you dont even know. You guys are amazing.

 

The thing is i had that indifference toward.my ex till 5 weeks ago before she contacted.me. I always assumed she is with someone else and happy. Indifference was a great feeling. Never thought of her. I checked her photos but felt nothing. Just "ah it was good times.but it.is okay".

 

After hooking up, feelings came.back. It was good lovely feels but after.she dumped again, it turned into hatred.

 

I will just hangout with this girl. She is.so cute. I am 24 she is 22 and she looks so mıch alike like my first gf when i was 19. It was ldr and we held each other 2.5 years. Love never ended.but.distance killed it.

 

Now this girl looks %80 like my first gf and it is like a lil game but univerve. Because that first gf married 6 months ago with a guy looks like me. My bd is 23.09 and his 22.09. That seemed like a game.by universe too.

 

I dont know maybe i sound crazy.now but this girl seem like the one to me.

[HeartbrokenNewbie]

... And there we go... Seeing her brought the feelings back !.. U are not over her ! x go on the date just keep it cool & absolute NC with the ex Mr !! x

[halaluyaa]

... And there we go... Seeing her brought the feelings back !.. U are not over her ! x go on the date just keep it cool & absolute NC with the ex Mr !! x

 

For a second i felt like writing her but the urge is.gone. Seeing her clubbing made me feel bad but after pain now i feel strong.

 

Also yes, i will keep meeting cool. She is a cool girl.

[Weallwalkthelongroad]

I am doing the same thing tonight with a new girl. Just going to take it as it comes and go from there. It can't hurt to hang out with someone new and have a few drinks over good conversation. Not particularly looking for anything significant to come of it but getting out and seeing new people can only be good in my mind.