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I have a date 3 days later, but still has feels for ex, and want to write her

halaluyaa

By halaluyaa
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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halaluyaa Member

halaluyaa

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Even when i read topic, i sound awfully absurd. I have a date 3 days later. A beautiful girl, social, cute, well-educated girl. Seem so much same mind with me then ex.

 

On the other hand, i know that i dont love my ex anymore. She came into my life 5 weeks ago again, we hooked up but got out of my life again. I just feel like i lost my self-respect. This is second time she broke up with me and not giving a damn. She is happy now and moving on. It has been near 4 weeks of nc but today somehow i want to write her and spill out all my anger about how bitch she was.

 

I feel like i will screw up this date. I have no self respect or energy. All i want is to crawl up in bed and sleep all day long. But i have studies and work.

 

Anyway, I got this new girl's number 3 days ago. Should i cancel? If i cancel i know she will never.meet again and go cold on

me.

 

But i also know i will screw up anyway. I feel like this girl will be my medicine. I want to write her something now. I want to write her how sweet i find her. I want to write her i am looking forward to meet her tuesday. I want romance guys. I want love again. I am devastated and weak.

 

Help me to forget my ex and win this new girl. Please.

Edited by halaluyaa
Solo-guy New Member

Solo-guy

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Do not cancel, just go for it. A chance to make you happy again.

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halaluyaa Member

halaluyaa

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Do not cancel, just go for it. A chance to make you happy again.

 

Right now i sound very needy i know but i want to write this girl something. Something that i am thinking of her. I dont want to write "happy women day!". That is lame.

 

But write what?

bubbaganoosh Established Member

bubbaganoosh

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IMO, I think that going out with this new girl is not being fair to her.

 

Your still not over your old GF and if it was me, I would heal first before dating. All your going to do is compare the new girl with the old one and that isn't fair to her. She's going out with you because she wants to and your going out with her to fill a void.

 

Heal yourself first friend, then date. Good luck.

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halaluyaa Member

halaluyaa

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IMO, I think that going out with this new girl is not being fair to her.

 

Your still not over your old GF and if it was me, I would heal first before dating. All your going to do is compare the new girl with the old one and that isn't fair to her. She's going out with you because she wants to and your going out with her to fill a void.

 

Heal yourself first friend, then date. Good luck.

 

I dont love my ex. I am just mad at her. Is this still being Hung up to her?

 

If i dont meet her she will get cold and it is over. I liked thşs girl and if we hit it off, i am pretty sure that ex will not come to mind even once.

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halaluyaa Member

halaluyaa

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I was being sarcastic.

 

It is hard to see if you are real or sarcastic by just writings.

 

So you think i shouldnt go to date.

Solo-guy New Member

Solo-guy

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It is hard to see if you are real or sarcastic by just writings.

 

So you think i shouldnt go to date.

 

Well, you could give it a try, maybe you will like her a lot. But be sure you are okay and healed first.

iDrumKing Established Member

iDrumKing

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IMO, I think that going out with this new girl is not being fair to her.

 

Your still not over your old GF and if it was me, I would heal first before dating. All your going to do is compare the new girl with the old one and that isn't fair to her. She's going out with you because she wants to and your going out with her to fill a void.

 

Heal yourself first friend, then date. Good luck.

 

I have to agree. You have to get over your ex completely before you step into this new relationship.

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halaluyaa Member

halaluyaa

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I have to agree. You have to get over your ex completely before you step into this new relationship.

 

So, i should just throw this wonderful girl away?

iDrumKing Established Member

iDrumKing

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So, i should just throw this wonderful girl away?

 

It's not throwing away man. Maybe down the road can you two can get back together, but the fact that you still have a grudge towards your ex means that you aren't over her.

 

Once you reach the point of indifference, will you be able to date again.

 

I will tell you when I was in HS, I left a year long relationship. When I did I instantly started talking to another girl. To be honest, it DID make me feel a lot better. But I knew it was wrong because I was using this girl. Because I didn't go through the process of a BU, I'm now suffering for it with the relationship of 2 years I just left.

 

Please take your time to heal.

Solo-guy New Member

Solo-guy

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So, i should just throw this wonderful girl away?

 

Nah, just go on the date. She likes you, so why you wouldn't give her a chance? That's not fair also. And if she is wonderful, you might be over your ex before you know it.

iDrumKing Established Member

iDrumKing

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Nah, just go on the date. She likes you, so why you wouldn't give her a chance? That's not fair also. And if she is wonderful, you might be over your ex before you know it.

 

Wrong. He's not over his ex....

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halaluyaa Member

halaluyaa

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It's not throwing away man. Maybe down the road can you two can get back together, but the fact that you still have a grudge towards your ex means that you aren't over her.

 

Once you reach the point of indifference, will you be able to date again.

 

I will tell you when I was in HS, I left a year long relationship. When I did I instantly started talking to another girl. To be honest, it DID make me feel a lot better. But I knew it was wrong because I was using this girl. Because I didn't go through the process of a BU, I'm now suffering for it with the relationship of 2 years I just left.

 

Please take your time to heal.

 

My Weekly schelude is so tight that i even doubt i will neet this girl every week. So it will be a slow start and we may be able to meet more often in summer.

 

I think i am going to give a chance. I dont want to give this girl away because of ex. She took enough from me, she wont take her.

 

I just want to write.this.new girl smthng. Any idea?

Solo-guy New Member

Solo-guy

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Wrong. He's not over his ex....

 

I didn't say that. I meant he could be a lot sooner over his ex. When he really likes this girl, he might forget his ex sooner.

HeartbrokenNewbie Established Member

HeartbrokenNewbie

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Your mad with her cos u love her x go on the date but don't lead her on x u are clearly on the rebound to be fair x

iDrumKing Established Member

iDrumKing

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I didn't say that. I meant he could be a lot sooner over his ex. When he really likes this girl, he might forget his ex sooner.

 

You don't understand what I'm saying. You don't date new people to get over an ex. You get over your ex then you date new people.

 

I mean that's just my philosophy, but take it as you will.

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halaluyaa Member

halaluyaa

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Your mad with her cos u love her x go on the date but don't lead her on x u are clearly on the rebound to be fair x

 

I really dont think this is my rebound. I had my rebound when she dumped me first time 7 months ago. It took 2 months then ended.

 

I am sure this isnt rebound. Because i have met this girl 6 weeks ago. Before ex contacted me. And i liked her from the first time.

iDrumKing Established Member

iDrumKing

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I really dont think this is my rebound. I had my rebound when she dumped me first time 7 months ago. It took 2 months then ended.

 

I am sure this isnt rebound. Because i have met this girl 6 weeks ago. Before ex contacted me. And i liked her from the first time.

 

But you still have feelings for your ex...

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halaluyaa Member

halaluyaa

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But you still have feelings for your ex...

 

What i feel is hatred. Not love. I dont even want to see her face. She disgusts me.

HeartbrokenNewbie Established Member

HeartbrokenNewbie

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There is a very thin line between love & hate, infact some will argue it's the same thing x

 

I don't think u should shut yourself away.. I went out dating after my ex & as much as I wasn't really feeling it I did end up meeting someone, it didn't work out (3 months of fun tho) & I can honestly say it put distance between the ex & I so it definitely served a good purpose x just don't lead the girl on that's all x

iDrumKing Established Member

iDrumKing

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What i feel is hatred. Not love. I dont even want to see her face. She disgusts me.

 

Just like heartbroken stated. Although your feelings are "hatred," they are still emotions attached to her.

 

And like I said before about my situation is HS when I used a rebound. It helped. I will not lie, because it did help me, but it didn't work out.

 

It's a tricky game when you're talking to a girl, and trying to not lead her on at the same time. Be open with her.

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halaluyaa Member

halaluyaa

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Just like heartbroken stated. Although your feelings are "hatred," they are still emotions attached to her.

 

And like I said before about my situation is HS when I used a rebound. It helped. I will not lie, because it did help me, but it didn't work out.

 

It's a tricky game when you're talking to a girl, and trying to not lead her on at the same time. Be open with her.

 

What is HS and "leading a girl on" means?

Musing Established Member

Musing

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What i feel is hatred. Not love. I dont even want to see her face. She disgusts me.

 

Love and hatred are in the same camp, man.

They are essentially the same thing. They are different forms of passion. Why do you feel disgusted at your ex? Because you still care.

If you did not care for your ex, you wouldn't feel hatred towards her.

 

Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is. One day you wouldn't mind anything about your ex.

 

As for this girl, if you want to hang out than hang out. It's always good to meet new people. But don't lead her on with the idea that you want to date her.

Maybe in the future but it seems to me that right now you don't seem ready. You'd be using this new girl to get over an old one, which isn't genuine or fair to the new girl.

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halaluyaa Member

halaluyaa

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Love and hatred are in the same camp, man.

They are essentially the same thing. They are different forms of passion. Why do you feel disgusted at your ex? Because you still care.

If you did not care for your ex, you wouldn't feel hatred towards her.

 

Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is. One day you wouldn't mind anything about your ex.

 

As for this girl, if you want to hang out than hang out. It's always good to meet new people. But don't lead her on with the idea that you want to date her.

Maybe in the future but it seems to me that right now you don't seem ready. You'd be using this new girl to get over an old one, which isn't genuine or fair to the new girl.

 

Every poster here assumes that she will like me and i will be the one leading relationship.

 

But we skip an important part. She may not like me at all. I am low energy and lost my.self-respect. I dont like myself, how can she like me?

 

So, i dont think there will be any "leading" because she wont find me attractive.

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