Kermit76 Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 I am at the 6 month mark. Was doing great. Heard from my hair dresser yesterday my ex has driven over an hour to see her. Several times to get her hair done. This bothers me. Go see someone else. Told me she is asking about me, admitted she messed up. Talking about our relationship. Why? Now I'm thinking of her again, and our memories. Sigh.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 I am at the 6 month mark. Was doing great. Heard from my hair dresser yesterday my ex has driven over an hour to see her. Several times to get her hair done. This bothers me. Go see someone else. Told me she is asking about me, admitted she messed up. Talking about our relationship. Why? Now I'm thinking of her again, and our memories. Sigh. Yeah, I would tell your hairdresser in a polite manner not to tell you such things.
Author Kermit76 Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 Thanks Simon. I was very surprised to hear this. I have kept away from her friends, hair dresser, and acquaintances she had. I'm not overreacting am I?
Simon Phoenix Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Thanks Simon. I was very surprised to hear this. I have kept away from her friends, hair dresser, and acquaintances she had. I'm not overreacting am I? To think about it? No, that's human nature. But if she's talking to a hairdresser and not to you, then it isn't important to her. My ex talked about wanting to see me by relaying the message to her brother-in-law (my best friend). We were in LC at that point, but once my buddy relayed the message I was like "f*ck it" and messaged her wanting to meet. She was still all weird about the circumstances regarding our break, despite telling me she missed me. Luckily I was pretty recovered and didn't miss a beat from this. But I will stress to you that if she was really regretful about how sh*t went down, she'd let you know personally. She wouldn't use a hairdresser as a go-between. So while it sucks that the hairdresser squealed, there's nothing you should do right now except keep moving forward.
Author Kermit76 Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 Yep. If you can't even communicate with me that you messed up and I have to hear it from a third party to me it makes it less meaningful. Our BU was from a lack of communication on her end and its even carried over to the post BU. I have no intention in contacting her and will keep moving forward. Actually seeing a mutual friend of hers today (who I haven't seen in months), because last time I saw them they talked about her, so I really have been trying to avoid people she knows.
Author Kermit76 Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 And its ridiculous to me that after 6 months I'm nervous about seeing a mutual friend of ours. It's obvious I'm not 100 percent over this but I'm not letting it stop me from seeing the people in my life (with or without her).
WYSWYG Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 And its ridiculous to me that after 6 months I'm nervous about seeing a mutual friend of ours. It's obvious I'm not 100 percent over this but I'm not letting it stop me from seeing the people in my life (with or without her). Bro, I'm on my 4th month and feel the same. Me and my ex had mutual friends in one circle. Two weeks ago I was chilling w/one of the guys from that group and in casual conversation, got some updates about her and her new man (he's in the same group as well) Needless to say, I started thinking about my ex again. Tho, lately the memories are becoming less and less vivid. I'm definitely avoiding our mutual friends for a while. Good luck on your ventures.
Author Kermit76 Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 (edited) Thanks man! Not a good day for me today. Went to a mall where we used to hangout and thought about her today. The loneliness set in. The good news is I start a new job next week where I will be around new people. I think I need to start meeting new people, and start dating again. How my ex treated and broke up with me its amazing I still miss her. My self-esteem is improving but its a process and will take more time. Starting to hit the gym more, and find myself being more social though. Unfortunately, I am seeing my hairdresser next week too. I will politely say whatever she has to say means nothing to me. She knows how to contact me if she wants to tell me herself. I've really been in hiding since the break up. I am not happy she has found a way to communicate thru a 3rd party. Trust me she lives an hour away from the salon, so its a chore to drive there. And my hairdresser isn't worth driving an hour for either ....lol. Not reading into it though. Buts in my opinion its a sneaky move on her end. Edited March 9, 2014 by Kermit76
WYSWYG Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 yup, best to tell the hairdresser not to mention the ex EVER. I also don't go to places we used to go to. I'm avoiding ANY sort of "emotional trigger". I still miss our good times occasionally then anger just takes over. The things I didn't like about my ex the very first time I saw her is resurfacing once again. One thing for sure is that I don't wanna be back w/ her at all. I work in a very social environment and had met a few girls since. There's always that promising moment when you meet someone new but I learned to lower my expectations. The new job will be a healthy distraction for you. If anything, we can look back at these times months from now and likely not feel the misery anymore. I saw my ex ex from 3 years ago at the grocery store the other day. In my eyes, she barely stood out from the crowd. We will overcome...
Author Kermit76 Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 Yeah. The new job is going to help. I can feel it. And I'm excited about it! I am also seeing a social worker for guidance. More for my anger issues (or anger towards ex), and I have dealt with confidence and self esteem issues all my life. Of course my BU triggered them to a very low point. What's helpful for me is meditation, eating right, yoga, and I can't stop the feelings and memories but I'm doing better and it will pass. I have to remember (and people keep telling me) its really her loss. I treated her like gold and put my heart into the relationship. I hope to find someone down the road that appreciates me. I am one of the nice ones..ha ha.
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