purplehues Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 (edited) Hey all, My ex broke-up with me a month and half ago and I have, thanks to the infinite wisdom of people on this website and strength I didn't know I possessed, been NC since. Up until 2 days ago that is, when my ex unexpectedly showed up at my work, asking to speak with me because she's scared (she's bipolar and hash't been diligent about taking her meds). This isn't the first time she's attempted contact--she called twice a couple of days ago and sent a few text messages/e-mails asking how I'm doing and such. I've ignored it all. Before I go further, I wanna say that the aftermath of this break-up has been one of the most excruciating and agonizing experiences of my life--I have cried and hurt a lot. I'm sure you all can relate. So imagine my surprise when seeing her didn't effect me as much as I anticipated it would. Don't get me wrong, I don't claim indifference towards my ex, but it just wasn't the same. I felt like I was looking at a stranger and her wearing a shirt I haven't seen before (obviously something she purchased since the break-up) just confirmed that she's no longer a part of my life and I'm no longer a part of hers. I dunno why, but that new shirt spoke volumes to me… Anyways, I was upset and a taken aback after seeing her. I told her that I can't speak with her and asked her to stop trying to contact me. I probably spoke to her for 20 seconds and then walked away. I don't know if she said anything, I really don't remember. But she did send a slew of text messages after leaving and apologized for showing up unexpectedly. It was like 20 texts, one after another…I didn't respond. The thing is, I feel guilty. I'm afraid she's becoming manic and I hate that I can't support and see her through this. It is really difficult to turn away an individual who's scared and asking for my help. I also feel guilty because I feel like I'm truly moving on--I miss her, but I no longer want to be with her. So why am I not happier about this? And why all the guilt? Oh, and I do have a new crush…nothing's happened and nothing probably will, but it's fun nonetheless I wonder if this has helped speed up the process. Edited March 8, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Saurren Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 She broke up with you and she is not entitled to your emotional or physical support. It will just drain you emotionally even more. 2
Trep Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 She broke up with you, not the other way around. It's not your responsibility to look after her anymore, she made her bed now she has to lie in it. You need to put yourself first and continue doing what you've been doing. I guarantee you if you do support her, the moment she finds a new man (and she no doubt will) she'll drop you like a sack of crap and you'll be stuck right back at sqaure one. 2
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