Leegh Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Does this email which I plan to send give enough encouragement to a new guy (who is somewhat quiet), who has indicated several times that he wants to go out, but has not actually asked me out yet? Does this email indicate enough interest on my part? Thanks for any comments. "Contact me if you want to go out. I will be working Tuesday and Thursday evenings, but any other time is fine to go out. If I hear from you that will be great, but if I don't hear from you, then I wish you the best." 1
Chocolat Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Why don't you just invite him for coffee or a drink or whatever? Face-to-face. 2
BikerAccnt Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 I agree with Chocolat, just ask him out. But if your uncomfortable with that then I'd at least change the last sentence and get rid of the the " If I hear from you that will be great, but if I don't hear from you, then I wish you the best." To me, that always sounds..off. Not sure why but it does. I'd change it to "looking forward to hearing from you" and leave it at that. That sounds stronger, and puts the ball squarely back in their court. You're not giving him permission to opt out Even if he does, your not telling him it's ok to. 3
Chocolat Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 I agree with Chocolat, just ask him out. But if your uncomfortable with that then I'd at least change the last sentence and get rid of the the " If I hear from you that will be great, but if I don't hear from you, then I wish you the best." To me, that always sounds..off. Not sure why but it does. I'd change it to "looking forward to hearing from you" and leave it at that. That sounds stronger, and puts the ball squarely back in their court. You're not giving him permission to opt out Even if he does, your not telling him it's ok to. Agreed. If you have to send en email, make it friendly and short. I'd recommend inviting him to a specific event, or, at least, mentioning a specific activity. Hi [name], There's a seafood festival at Sunnyside park next week. I'm planning on going; would you like to join me? Leegh 999-555-5555 4
Bruce Leigh Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 "Contact me if you want to go out. I will be working Tuesday and Thursday evenings, but any other time is fine to go out. If I hear from you that will be great, but if I don't hear from you, then I wish you the best." Saying when you cant go out is a big plus but the wishing you all the best might be seen as bit meh. But i am not a quiet guy, he could find it a big plus to hear that. One size does not fit all.
Author Leegh Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 I agree with Chocolat, just ask him out. But if your uncomfortable with that then I'd at least change the last sentence and get rid of the the " If I hear from you that will be great, but if I don't hear from you, then I wish you the best." To me, that always sounds..off. Not sure why but it does. I'd change it to "looking forward to hearing from you" and leave it at that. That sounds stronger, and puts the ball squarely back in their court. You're not giving him permission to opt out Even if he does, your not telling him it's ok to. Does the "If I hear from you that will be great, but if I don't hear from you, then I wish you the best" sound as if I'm not interested? Now that I have re-read it, it could sound like a lack of interest on my end. What do you folks think? I have used this with other guys in the past, maybe it is off-putting. Perhaps I will change the wording - thanks for any input!
babycakees Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 "If I hear from you that will be great, but if I don't hear from you, then I wish you the best." Change this to say, "Hope to hear from you soon!" 2
Chocolat Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Does the "If I hear from you that will be great, but if I don't hear from you, then I wish you the best" sound as if I'm not interested? Now that I have re-read it, it could sound like a lack of interest on my end. What do you folks think? I have used this with other guys in the past, maybe it is off-putting. Perhaps I will change the wording - thanks for any input! It sounds... I dunno.... un-confident. He doesn't need your permission not to respond and telling him you wish him the best is kind of pointless imo. Ask him to do something. Or, if that's beyond you, say something like "You mentioned that we should get together - I'd like that. My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx. Hope to hear from you." Keep it light, friendly... 1
J21 Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Does the "If I hear from you that will be great, but if I don't hear from you, then I wish you the best" sound as if I'm not interested? Now that I have re-read it, it could sound like a lack of interest on my end. What do you folks think? I have used this with other guys in the past, maybe it is off-putting. Perhaps I will change the wording - thanks for any input! Not a big fan of the: "If I hear from you that will be great, but if I don't hear from you, then I wish you the best" part. Sorta sounds like you're putting him on the spot. Also, have you guys met before? Or is this the first time meeting? I would probably do without that last part and soften up the tone just a tad. "Hi XXX, I'm free this week except Tues and Thurs evening, if you'd like to go out let me know." I don't care how clueless the guy is, he should get the hint you're interested in going out. It gives him the opportunity to take initiative (I feel like the guy should be doing that anyway) and plan the date. If he is busy this week, he should suggest an alternate date. But if he doesn't reply or get back to you, I'd just move on. Good luck!
Author Leegh Posted April 8, 2014 Author Posted April 8, 2014 Does this email which I plan to send give enough encouragement to a new guy (who is somewhat quiet), who has indicated several times that he wants to go out, but has not actually asked me out yet? Does this email indicate enough interest on my part? Thanks for any comments. "Contact me if you want to go out. I will be working Tuesday and Thursday evenings, but any other time is fine to go out. If I hear from you that will be great, but if I don't hear from you, then I wish you the best." Update: Last night I received a phone call from this new guy about a month after I sent the above email to him. He indicated on the phone that he thought I wasn't interested, but I'm not sure I believe him. Do you think the above email was enough encouragement or was he just using that as an excuse for waiting so long to call me? I know some of you folks who answered my post, thought the last sentence of my email to him was not good, could it have implied that I did not want to hear from him, by "wishing him the best"? The phone conversation ended vaguely, but he said he would call again soon. Should I just forget about it if he doesn't call again?
Chocolat Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 He took a month to reply? My guess is that he was dating someone else, that fell through, and now he is following up on your email. I do not think he spent a month contemplating whether you were interested and only just now got up the nerve to call you. :rolleyes: 2
soccerrprp Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 (edited) First of all, I don't think your email was that off-putting. It put the ball in his court and to make the next move. He waited an entire month. Bologna! Yup, he was dating someone else that he asked out and it didn't work out. Now he's checking up on his next option. Edited April 8, 2014 by soccerrprp 2
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