Mama1986 Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Okay so I broke up with my ex jan. 3rd after a 2 1/2 year relationship. It might have hurt me just as much as it hurt him but he is an alcoholic who oftens snorts pills and flirts with other women behind my back. I have never been unfaithful in any of my relationships and wouldn't ever cross that line! Growing up my mother cheated on my father numerous times and I never understood why or how someone would do that to another person. I also had to leave him because I have a daughter who had been by my side since the day she was concieved and her happiness and future is the most important thing to me. She has always been my first priority and will always remain my first priority! I had a nervous breakdown a couple of years ago and still recovering from it. I struggle with depression and just recently started talking to a doctor about it. Although I wish I would have reached out to my doctor years ago I'm just glad that I'm on the right road to have a happy, healthy life with my daughter. The first month after breaking up was okay I felt really tired and didn't have any energy whatsoever! The month of Feb. was the hardest because the reality was setting in and I found out that he is now in a new relationship. I was so scared that I would feel that empty, depressed, helpless feeling for a long time but today I can honestly say that not every day has been a bad today. I am doing good emotionally today even though last night I dreamed about him which I have been doing a lot. Honestly, I'm starting to get used to not having him in my life anf that has made it easier. I can't say I'm not gonna have another bad day where the depression is to big for me to handle and I sleep the day away because I'd rather because I'm so depressed but the fact that I want to be happy and healthy and talking to my doctor once a month whom I have a good relationship with means I am on the right road! I have learned a lot from my past and will NEVER ever let someone bring me down like I have in the past. Beleive me it is not worth it! They are not worth your happiness esp. if they aren't interested in your happiness. So for anyone out there struggling with depression it is always best to go out and spend time with people that lift you up and bring positivity in your life! Even if it means you might need to talk to a doctor to see if anti-depressants are what you need. Just remember to take one day at a time and in my past experiences and what I am going through now time with NC really does help you forget and move on!
Mr Scorpio Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 I can't say I'm not gonna have another bad day where the depression is to big for me to handle and I sleep the day away because I'd rather because I'm so depressed but the fact that I want to be happy and healthy and talking to my doctor once a month whom I have a good relationship with means I am on the right road! You are on the right road. Good on you for being proactive and looking out for your interests, and therefore your daughter's interests. However, if you are experiencing days when you sleep the day away you need to do more than talking to your doctor once per month. Maybe you are, I don't know as I haven't read any of your other posts. You're on the right road, but with depression it can be a long one.
Author Mama1986 Posted March 10, 2014 Author Posted March 10, 2014 Thanks for responding! I will definitely keep my Dr. informed about what's going on. Last month when I talked to her I didn't really make a big deal about the break up because it hadn't sunk in at the time. I go to see her next week and I'll talk to her about how I have been feeling this past month. I can tell my mood has gotten better than compared to before I started the meds. but I feel like there's still work to be done and I know I can't fully rely on the meds. to get me there that's why I have been exercising and talking to people when need to. She might want to try a new medication or up my dosage. Thanks for the reply though it definitely helps knowing that I'm not alone!
Mr Scorpio Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 I can tell my mood has gotten better than compared to before I started the meds. but I feel like there's still work to be done and I know I can't fully rely on the meds. to get me there that's why I have been exercising and talking to people when need to. She might want to try a new medication or up my dosage. Good. It is good that you're keeping track of your mood. It is also good that you have been exercise and reaching out when you need to. Now I'm no doctor, but I've had a fair deal of experience with "the meds". Personally, I'm not a big fan. I think they have their place, which is primarily for people who have a long-term chemical imbalance. This is to say that I think taking meds in your situation is fine. However, if you didn't suffer from depression prior to the breakup, I'd get off of them once you feel ready. Not all at once, of course, but slowly. All in due time.
Author Mama1986 Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 I have been on anti-depressants since I was 13. I know that is really young but both of my parents suffer from anxiety and depression and so I got stuck with it unfortunatly. I was taking paxil for years but it quit working a couple years ago and after upping the dosage a couple of times I finally talked to a doctor who said that I should try something different. I litterally broke up with my ex a week before I started on the zoloft. It wasn't planned it was just something that I realized that I needed to do if I wanted to live a happy and healthy life. So it has been 2 months on the new meds. and so far it has helped for the most part. It's kinda complicated though because I know it takes time to heal a broken heart but I'm also trying to figure out which dosage works best for me. I hope that makes sense. I have been doing better the past couple days(knock on wood) I'm sure it has something to do with the weather change. I always feel better in the spring and summer.
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