carolinenoelle9 Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 (edited) My boyfriend and I have been together about 8 months. I am a senior in hs and he is a freshman at a college 1 1/2 hours away but we went to hs together and his family lives here. The good majority of our relationship has been perfect (until recently), he comes home every other weekend and I got there every other weekend. We never really fought, a little argument here and there but nothing bad, and when we are together we always have a great time. He used to be so excited to see me and when we weren't together made sure I knew he missed me and was thinking about me. It was like that until about the last three weeks. We used to talk on the phone for at least an hour every night, fall asleep on the phone together, and then talk shortly when we woke up to say good morning. He would call me randomly throughout the day just to talk. Recently we hardly talk and when we do I almost always end up crying. He's become some distant and when we do talk he acts like its a chore to have to talk to me. I don't feel loved anymore, he says he's still in love with me but he doesn't show it. I understand that we are in different stages of our lives and he is really busy but it's just hard because it's never been this way. He doesn't like to come home to see me anymore so we see each other less. I try talking to him about it and he says I'm just making up problems in my head and that I'm too emotional and cry too much and that nothing has changed but I know it has. I need help, I'm so I'm love with him and don't want our relationship to end but can't keep going on like this. I feel us getting worse and I feel that I am becoming so clingy because he is becoming so distant and I'm trying to make up for it. Edited March 8, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
babycakees Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 My best advice to you would be to definitely quit bringing up how things have changed. If you want to try and make this work, give him some space to actually miss you. If you are constantly contacting him and every time you do you bring up how things are changing, he's going to distance himself. Give him a little bit of space and if he truly loves you, he will come around. I just hope (for your sake) he isn't acting distant because he met someone else while away at college... 1
soccerrprp Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 caroline, this doesn't surprise me. he's in college, long distance, and he's seeing and mingling with a lot of older women, more accessible. he's probably thinking about those women. there may be nothing you can do, but try to keep your communication open, but he may already be gone. prepare yourself for a break, try to understand the obstacles that are present....sorry. 1
Author carolinenoelle9 Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 I do not think he is cheating, he goes to a small school and has a tight group of friends that I all know pretty well from spending time with them. He's the kind of guy who wouldn't leave me hanging if he found someone else he would just end it
soccerrprp Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 (edited) I do not think he is cheating, he goes to a small school and has a tight group of friends that I all know pretty well from spending time with them. He's the kind of guy who wouldn't leave me hanging if he found someone else he would just end it Okay. But what you are saying right now is what countless number of people say before such things happen. I'm not saying it will, but he has other distractions that are immediate and accessible. It complicates things. Edited March 7, 2014 by soccerrprp 1
Author carolinenoelle9 Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 I agree! The thing is though is we've made it work this far, he only has two months left of school before he's home for the summer, and next year I'll be at school with him. I just so worried at the rate we're going that our relationship is going to fall apart now when we've made it this long with the distance.
Author carolinenoelle9 Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 Thank you! It's just hard when I miss him so much to not be clingy especially when he acts distant, but I know I'm only pushing him further away:/
ExpatInItaly Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Thank you! It's just hard when I miss him so much to not be clingy especially when he acts distant, but I know I'm only pushing him further away:/ Definitely. It's very hard but you need to back off of him a little bit. If all is ok and he really is just busy, crying every time you talk will completely annoy him and make him not want to speak to you. It's certainly important to share you concerns with him, but not every time you speak. On the flip side, if he is indeed pulling away from the relationship, this will only expedite it. If he wants to go, he'll go, regardless of how often or how strongly you air your hurt feelings with him. As others have said, being a freshman is particularly difficult for LDRs, given all the new opportunities around him and all the new people he's met. Some people make it through; many I went to school with didn't. Whatever happens, you need to remember that at the end of the day you're going to be ok, with or without him. 1
Recommended Posts