GarrusVakarian Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 (edited) You may or may not of read some of my posts about my wife's affair marriage breakup and events since. I have accepted marriage is over and I am making all the steps to moving on, going out and enjoying self. I want to secure my house and get it all in my name, deeds mortgage etc. I am then planning to file for divorce. Looking back over her behaviour, I feel I have really dodged a bullet and I am so relieved we didn't have kids!. Pretty sure I am not the only one who thinks about this?. But the one thing that puzzles me and I guess it may always do?. My wife used to be absolutely fantastic, she was warm ,affectionate, loving and she made me laugh. I was proud to be with her. Last May we was even talking about kids. Then in August/Sept she totally changed. What could of caused her to change in the way she has in such a short space of time. Now she is cold, calculating and deceitful. Doesn't care who she hurts. Last time I saw her I thought to myself, what has happened to her?. Its like she has been brainwashed and the person I knew isn't there anymore!. Our marriage wasn't perfect by any shot, had ups and downs. But what marriage doesn't. There is no such thing as perfect marriage. Rough deal, but life goes on and I will meet someone else!. Edited March 7, 2014 by GarrusVakarian 1
flightplan Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Sorry for your pain, but your situation is common. She changed because she thought she could do better. Something inside her was missing that she couldn't feel with you. Another man comes along that she feels could fill her void... then BOOM... the hammer falls and your left eating a crap sandwich. Hang in there and best of luck.
Author GarrusVakarian Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 Sorry for your pain, but your situation is common. She changed because she thought she could do better. Something inside her was missing that she couldn't feel with you. Another man comes along that she feels could fill her void... then BOOM... the hammer falls and your left eating a crap sandwich. Hang in there and best of luck. Guess so, I was traded in. But at same time. She has destroyed the OW's entire family. No remorse nothing.
bubbaganoosh Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Does she have any toxic friends or at least you think are toxic? Reason why I'm asking is my neighbor from a long time ago had a similar situation where his wife would constantly getting her ear bent by her close friend who he thought was a bad influence on her. The lady had a bad attitude and had a habit of taking the guys wife's problem and making a mountain out of a mole hill. In other words she would get in his wife's ear and twist things around to where the wife started to believe the bs rather than what was once the truth and then it happened. Her attitude changed. She became an angry person and always found fault with anything he did and became cold and distant. She didn't know that her husband had a breaking point because he put up with her for a good while and finally he said enough and filed. They divorced and is was only after that she realized that her friend was toxic and by that time it was too late. She tried to talk to her husband about R but he told her that it was too late. He remarried about four years later and his ex is now on the outside looking in.
Author GarrusVakarian Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 Does she have any toxic friends or at least you think are toxic? Reason why I'm asking is my neighbor from a long time ago had a similar situation where his wife would constantly getting her ear bent by her close friend who he thought was a bad influence on her. The lady had a bad attitude and had a habit of taking the guys wife's problem and making a mountain out of a mole hill. In other words she would get in his wife's ear and twist things around to where the wife started to believe the bs rather than what was once the truth and then it happened. Her attitude changed. She became an angry person and always found fault with anything he did and became cold and distant. She didn't know that her husband had a breaking point because he put up with her for a good while and finally he said enough and filed. They divorced and is was only after that she realized that her friend was toxic and by that time it was too late. She tried to talk to her husband about R but he told her that it was too late. He remarried about four years later and his ex is now on the outside looking in. Sorry for not replying back sooner. To be honest I haven't really met her friends that many times. What I do know her closest friend has had three serious relationships. One ended, as she got bored with him from what I was told, the second was a marriage, that she didn't feel like she was getting all the attention she felt she deserved. The current relationship wife's friend is in with a man who is in his 50's. My Wife had an affair with a 50 year old married man. Most of her closest friends, don't seem to be able to hold down a serious relationship for long. My wife did launch in to a verbal attack on my character in a pub one day. Her friends thought I was rude arrogant etc, and didn't know me. Only met them a few times. Perhaps after the affair was revealed to them they said she could do better. She also said her boss from work thought pretty much the same. Somewhat unprofessional I think!. But from the day I found out the wife was in tears, very apologetic. Saying she would do anything to sort. I stormed out the house as I was so angry. She was texting and calling me and I didn't answer. Same the next day, she was telling me she loved me and was sorry. I said some nasty things to her. I was angry, who wouldn't be. But afterwards she became harder and appeared to change. She would bring up the things I had said, I couldn't really remember what I said, whole thing is a bit of a cloud now. I still have the messages of what you said I have them all still. Maybe she still reads them and it reinforces her change it attitude?. I don't know. All she says now, she loves me, but she cant live with me.
OnTheRightPath Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Words can really hurt right down to the core. There is no way to take back the spoken word.............the damage is done. Some people have a very hard time getting past horrible things that are said......similar to trust being broke. Usually there is a bit of truth in things that are said during a fight or argument as well. I have no idea what was said but sometimes it can be enough to change the entire way you feel about someone.
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