Tressugar Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Tell me if my husband (younger) and I (older) are "weird" or are we like the rest of the healthy childfree couples out there who desire children, but are not going to have a family with kids because we cannot agree on the ways we want to raise our children.
mammasita Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 I don't see a point in labeling it as "weird"....if you're in agreement to not have kids for that reason, then so be it. Nothing wrong with that at all. 1
SJS Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Raising kids can put a huge strain on a relationship, and if you already know you have different parenting styles, there's nothing wrong with deciding to stay child-free. It's actually too bad that MORE people don't talk about this before they have kids. 1
newmoon Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 so if you met someone who agreed with how you wanted to raise kids you'd have them? it does sound weird, unless you truly don't want kids. just 'not agreeing' doesn't seem like a sufficient reason.
pink_sugar Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Hmm it depends on how much you want kids. Do you yearn for it, or just a passing desire? No one should sacrifice something like that just because you cannot agree on parenting styles. However, if your desire to be together is stronger than having kids, then so be it. 1
CarrieT Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 OP, if your relationships works for your and you are happy being childless, why do you care if you are "weird" or how you come across to other people? What does it matter? 1
Survivor12 Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 As I see it, choices such as this are very personal and should not be made or judged by outsiders. But I have to ask, does anyone else see a connotative difference between "child free" and "childless"?
Tiger Lily Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Tell me if my husband (younger) and I (older) are "weird" or are we like the rest of the healthy childfree couples out there who desire children, but are not going to have a family with kids because we cannot agree on the ways we want to raise our children. I think that you're "weird". You and any other couple that decides to remain childfree because they can't agree on how to raise kids seems a little atypical, imo. I think most couples are overpowered by a desire to have children, so they ignore the nagging voice telling them it might not be a good idea. So in that way, I don't think you're normal. In other words, you're weird. (In a good way, of course ). Do you think you'll have any grief about this decision?
lollipopspot Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 It seems like a very good thing not to have kids with someone with whom you don't agree on parenting styles. I wish more people thought through their decision so rationally. There would be a lot fewer unhappy kids and screwed up adults from fractious families.
preraph Posted March 9, 2014 Posted March 9, 2014 Well, I think you're smart for recognizing that you wouldn't be doing a kid any favors by fighting over how to raise him/her all the time, and I commend you for that. I'm childfree by choice and so are a lot of my old and online friends so I completely get it. But I would just say if you are riding the fence about it and start thinking (both of you, not just one of you) that you really wish you could agree so you could have a kid, then you could both take a parenting class because that would likely put you more on the same page. I think everyone should take parenting classes before they decide to get pregnant, personally. I think that could be a step that could bring you more clarity at least. 1
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