blackendangel13 Posted January 24, 2005 Posted January 24, 2005 Hello all. Ok here is my deal. My ex and I have been broken up since July (see "whats his deal" if you need more info). This is a man who treated me very poorly, in and after the relationship. He fell out of love with me and strung me along for several months in the relationship saying that he still did and then ridiculing me for not being completely honest about what I was feeling. Everytime I tried to be honest with him he brushed me off or didn't want to hear it, so it is kind of hard to tell someone everything who is only there part of the time. Anyhow, after I had finally had enough of the same song and dance about him not being there for me (While together I endured two deaths in my immediate family and had cancer removed) I finally called it quits. We tried to be friends and he kept hinting to and pretending we would get back together, and that was the only reason I stuck around because I loved him with all my heart. Which in reality he was only using me for sex. So after a very long time I finally picked myself up and removed myself from that situation. I got my life on track, but to this day it still both pains and upsets me to see him at places where he knows I will be. He has tried contacting me via email several times since the break-up. Anyhow, here is the real deal. My friend (who lived with me the entire time I dated this jerk and saw him tear my heart to pieces) had a birthday party at a bar last week and invited him. She has never liked him even before we got together and knows how it still pains me to this day to see him out. So I decided that we (me and my new boyfriend) would go for a drink and then leave. We did not want the drama for her or for ourselves because despite the fact that my ex doesn't love me he still gives every man within five feet of me the evil eye. After talking to my boyfriend about it more he decided he did not want us to go. I respected his decision and his reasons and told my friend we would have to take her out another time and suggested before the party. Now she flipped out on me, about how I was being selfish. I know it was but in all honesty if my ex would have been a close friend of hers or a friend at all I gladly would have gone. She went on about how she went into uncomfortable situations to support friends and what not. Am I wrong to say that if those were your true friends they would not ask you to bleed for them? Am I wrong to say that it is unfair of them as true friends to put you in that position? I have never in my life done anything to make her feel unfomfortable despite the fact that her ex boyfriend is a good friend of mine, and have always been a great friend to her. I am not saying that out of spite or anger but I felt very sad that she would be that mad at me when she invited him knowing how it hurt me. The night she invited him we were at a bar and I was crying on her shoulder about how much it upset me. So long story short, I felt really bad about the situation and tried to reason with my boyfriend to go, but by then he wanted no part of anyone there because they (my friends) had all yelled at me and gave me guilt trips for not wanting to go. He refused to go and I didn't want to go alone so we didn't, eventhough there was a huge snow storm and we would never have been able to drive there. This is not an invitation for a pity party for myself, just want to know your thoughts on what you would have done.
Merin Posted January 24, 2005 Posted January 24, 2005 What I would've done.. NOT made this about HIM.. I would've told my friend that it made my NEW BF feel uncomfortable.. said I'm sure she understands.. handed her a birthday card and told her I would call her to make plans to take her out another time to celebrate her birthday..
Recommended Posts