SmartDude Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 One person's "good catch" is another person's..............Nah It's all debatable really Exactly. When I actually browse dating sites or meet women I have a list of "negative attributes" which most men have as their list of desired qualities. Here is a partial list for me: 1)Puts a lot of emphasis on traditional education and career(it means she is not creative and not actually intelligent) 2)Thinks she is unique because she has traveled the world(no inner life, shallow emotionally, conformist robot) 3)Puts great emphasis on acquiring and keeping physical objects like houses,cars..etc.(this is the strongest indicator of a person who is truly out of touch with life as it really is.) 4)Dates people because she is looking for something serious(Why do these women believe they can manifest a "serious" relationship?, it either happens or does not and its beyond anyone's control!) 5) Wants kids and marriage(meh marriage I don't mind but no kids please, I would rather have free time. And if you have that "I want to be a mommy someday" look on your face, forget it!) 6) Has had a good life, happy childhood and never experienced true hardship in life(no character, no soul, just an artificially happy person with nothing to offer anyone except to produce a drone child to add to the earths population) 1
whirl3daway Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 6) Has had a good life, happy childhood and never experienced true hardship in life(no character, no soul, just an artificially happy person with nothing to offer anyone except to produce a drone child to add to the earths population) I totally agree with you on this one. I used to think that this is something I wanted in a person - but after having dated someone like this, I find it somewhat troublesome. The person I dated, he is not good at dealing with adversity, and runs away from problems instead of dealing with them. He doesn't communicate, or think that relationships need worked on. His parents never fought in front of them either, and so he is totally clueless about the fact that even the happiest of relationships often have conflict. He is aimless in his career and life goals, content with playing video games all day, and has all these ideals that he wants in women/life. He is a perfectionist who has very little room for error. How ironic - you try to provide a good and happy childhood for your children and they end up being totally effed up anyway, haha. 1
HappyLove Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Exactly. When I actually browse dating sites or meet women I have a list of "negative attributes" which most men have as their list of desired qualities. Here is a partial list for me: 1)Puts a lot of emphasis on traditional education and career(it means she is not creative and not actually intelligent) 2)Thinks she is unique because she has traveled the world(no inner life, shallow emotionally, conformist robot) 3)Puts great emphasis on acquiring and keeping physical objects like houses,cars..etc.(this is the strongest indicator of a person who is truly out of touch with life as it really is.) 4)Dates people because she is looking for something serious(Why do these women believe they can manifest a "serious" relationship?, it either happens or does not and its beyond anyone's control!) 5) Wants kids and marriage(meh marriage I don't mind but no kids please, I would rather have free time. And if you have that "I want to be a mommy someday" look on your face, forget it!) 6) Has had a good life, happy childhood and never experienced true hardship in life(no character, no soul, just an artificially happy person with nothing to offer anyone except to produce a drone child to add to the earths population) Welp, it's great that you're not judgemental based off some box someone may or may not have checked. You sound fun and rational .
lino Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Exactly. When I actually browse dating sites or meet women I have a list of "negative attributes" which most men have as their list of desired qualities. Here is a partial list for me: 1)Puts a lot of emphasis on traditional education and career(it means she is not creative and not actually intelligent) 2)Thinks she is unique because she has traveled the world(no inner life, shallow emotionally, conformist robot) 3)Puts great emphasis on acquiring and keeping physical objects like houses,cars..etc.(this is the strongest indicator of a person who is truly out of touch with life as it really is.) 4)Dates people because she is looking for something serious(Why do these women believe they can manifest a "serious" relationship?, it either happens or does not and its beyond anyone's control!) 5) Wants kids and marriage(meh marriage I don't mind but no kids please, I would rather have free time. And if you have that "I want to be a mommy someday" look on your face, forget it!) 6) Has had a good life, happy childhood and never experienced true hardship in life(no character, no soul, just an artificially happy person with nothing to offer anyone except to produce a drone child to add to the earths population) I don't online date but strongly agree with everything written here except what you said about children. I can't wait to be a dad one day And yes, girls who do the cookie cutter European holiday thinking they're really worldly are even bigger lemmings than those who haven't been out of their suburb! 1
Purepony Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 I just read all 12 pages where and who said she was a good catch?
hotpotato Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 why would you WANT to be involved in a confrontation with your SO? I'd rather address problems than let them fester. 1
hotpotato Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 I just read all 12 pages where and who said she was a good catch? Lol. OP will have to realize that what she thinks is a good catch is not necessarily a good catch in the eyes of the general male populace. She may be attractive, but a woman need only be average to have male admirers and snag a husband. She may have a lot of education, but that's not always a plus for a woman in the dating world.Many men are looking for other things in women, like how she makes him feel. A master's isn't going to fill him with warm fuzzies. Once again, a woman need not be exceptional to attract a mate. Maybe something like "I'm a good catch because I believe in building my life with a man as we achieve our dreams. I believe in mature ways to conflict resolution. I know how to make a man feel good." And the like would make her a better catch in the eyes of men.
GoreSP Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 I'd rather address problems than let them fester. Not just that - OP never said anything about wanting to be in a confrontation - but was talking about not avoiding. Huge difference.
Chubbi Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 (edited) The new checklist for dream guy: Has soul (eg: enjoys dancing, we enjoy music together, laughs at racist jokes though doesnt actually believe the stereotypes in them), willing to fight with me (in a mature way that isn’t hurtful or damaging, not sensitive when I am direct), tries to impress my family, shows initiative and creativity in planning time together (eg: tries to think of somewhere cool for a walk or daytrip, tries dancing), listens to my sht and gives me good advice, wants to hear my voice so calls sometimes, driven in his work but will take a spontaneous sickie sometimes to have time together in some circumstances (eg: I am going on a holiday). You can find a guy like this; this is my bf, who is white. I'm black. But this isn't something you can check off after meeting; this is just great things you find out about the guy. Damn girl, I knew I would get some competition! I went in to online dating with no expectations. I am too spontaneous for that. The next guy doesn't have to Mr. Right. Are you sure you'd want him to meet all your requirements? That could be a bit boring, right? I like when guys surprise me. Edited March 14, 2014 by Chubbi
Keenly Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 I'd rather address problems than let them fester. Yes but that's not what I meant. In your example, you want conflict RESOLUTION, and she just wants conflict.
Keenly Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 Not just that - OP never said anything about wanting to be in a confrontation - but was talking about not avoiding. Huge difference. You must have missed the post where she said she loved the fighting.
ThatMan Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 I'd rather address problems than let them fester. We're not even talking about you.
hotpotato Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 We're not even talking about you. If someone wants to answer a question they can. Welcome to the internets! 1
Author madgirl1991 Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 Ok. So this guy messaged me on tinder, like twice. I forgot it was the same guy, and then i had a sickie at work yesterday (got sent home for ocughing too much) so i asked him what he was doing. He was like,, yeah, i might be able to come. I was like oh you dont like me..He was like haha okay i'll come. He drove 30 mins to see me in city. We had lunch in the city, walked around a bit, then it was obviously time to decide if we were going to continue hanging or not.. He casually mentioned if im not doing anything i should come over for a movie. I said ok. I caught a bus to his house (as he had motorbiked in to the city). That made it awkward. At his house, I was intimidated. It was a frat boy-ish house. Booze everywhere, obviously decorated with a lot of taste, and they partied a lot (there was a hot tub and billiard table, the place was messy). The bathroom bin had a used condom at the top, i think he'd gotten laid the night before. He was very social, attractive, smart. Too good for me! lol I was coughing a lot. We sat on opposite ends of the couch. After 1.5 hours of movie, he grabbed my hand. It was sweaty so i let go after a few seconds. We watched more movie, then he turned it off. Asked to see some of my west coast swing dance moves, He said i'd be a good dance partner. He showed me some waltz. Then we chated for a few more mins, he asked if i'd like to leave now (it was 20 mins earlier than i had stated i needed to leave..weird). He drove me home and sent me a text saying he'd had fun and if i want to finisht he movie some time to let him know. Also that he was keen for another dance. I said well i'll download the movie myself, and ill save you a dance if you are oout in town tonight! he said, good to know but the movie at mine would be in 3D! Is he trying to get in my pants? Player?
hotpotato Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Ok. So this guy messaged me on tinder, like twice. I forgot it was the same guy, and then i had a sickie at work yesterday (got sent home for ocughing too much) so i asked him what he was doing. He was like,, yeah, i might be able to come. I was like oh you dont like me..He was like haha okay i'll come. He drove 30 mins to see me in city. We had lunch in the city, walked around a bit, then it was obviously time to decide if we were going to continue hanging or not.. He casually mentioned if im not doing anything i should come over for a movie. I said ok. I caught a bus to his house (as he had motorbiked in to the city). That made it awkward. At his house, I was intimidated. It was a frat boy-ish house. Booze everywhere, obviously decorated with a lot of taste, and they partied a lot (there was a hot tub and billiard table, the place was messy). The bathroom bin had a used condom at the top, i think he'd gotten laid the night before. He was very social, attractive, smart. Too good for me! lol I was coughing a lot. We sat on opposite ends of the couch. After 1.5 hours of movie, he grabbed my hand. It was sweaty so i let go after a few seconds. We watched more movie, then he turned it off. Asked to see some of my west coast swing dance moves, He said i'd be a good dance partner. He showed me some waltz. Then we chated for a few more mins, he asked if i'd like to leave now (it was 20 mins earlier than i had stated i needed to leave..weird). He drove me home and sent me a text saying he'd had fun and if i want to finisht he movie some time to let him know. Also that he was keen for another dance. I said well i'll download the movie myself, and ill save you a dance if you are oout in town tonight! he said, good to know but the movie at mine would be in 3D! Is he trying to get in my pants? Player? How many times have you met this guy? It's sounds kind of dangerous going to a guy's house like that. My rule of thumb is not to go over to a mans house unless Im open to sex...
Chubbi Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Is he trying to get in your pants? Yes! Do you want him to? How did you get over to his house on the first date? If you're not looking for a quickie, put the brakes on going over to his house and plan dates outside of his house. Is he a player? I'm not sure. I lean towards 'yes' but players can become good men at the right time, but don't bet on it.
Author madgirl1991 Posted April 29, 2014 Author Posted April 29, 2014 Still single. I have been off the dating sites for a week now. Its hard, because I have a massive fear of missing out, and sitting in my room, on the forums in boring when I could be out on a date! But i'm tired of dating and being disappointed. I'm tired of only ever getting second dates with players, and everyone else ditching me after the first date. Interestingly, I have had a few guys from real life ask me out. This year, I've had about four in total. Before this year, I had literally never had a guy ask me out except from a club! The only problem is, after I go on a date the guy loses interest and doesnt talk to me anymore. So, I guess its my personality. or my intiial impression is better than the real thing. Sad
preraph Posted April 29, 2014 Posted April 29, 2014 MMen suffer from what I call the Batman syndrome. They need to save their lady and I don't need saving. I am in total charge of my life. How boring is that. I always got that "you don't need me stuff" too, but the truth was they couldn't even uphold the basics in a relationship, like not cheating or not being solvent, so all that "wanting to save a woman" is mostly a male fairytale. But it does explain why men will marry someone who is really worthless and can't do the simplest things in life. If they want to be the hero bad enough to marry a moron, I say let them.
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