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Posted

Its all about protecting ourselves these days.

Posted

Stop settling for sex when you know deep in your heart you want a man that will cherish and adore you.

 

Women need to stop trying to slut around like men just because they "can".

 

smdh at the way women think.

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Posted

Well I NEED sex haha. Its easier to be semi-happy always. Then to continually try for complete happiness only to get unhappiness for the last ten years. Its like gambling. Id rather settle for a small steady profit than to go big then go home. It provides safety and stability.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
Well I NEED sex haha. Its easier to be semi-happy always. Then to continually try for complete happiness only to get unhappiness for the last ten years. Its like gambling. Id rather settle for a small steady profit than to go big then go home. It provides safety and stability.

 

 

Safety and stability?? Sounds like low self worth to me.

 

You NEED sex?? Your flesh is weak.

 

Semi happy?? What's that?

 

small steady profit? what's that? a wet a$$??

 

No thanks,

 

I deserve someone that really really loves me. And so do you??

 

 

All said with love, tough love, but love nevertheless.

Edited by travelbug1996
Posted

I protect myself by not dating idiots. No need to "be a player".

  • Like 2
Posted
Well I NEED sex haha. Its easier to be semi-happy always. Then to continually try for complete happiness only to get unhappiness for the last ten years. Its like gambling. Id rather settle for a small steady profit than to go big then go home. It provides safety and stability.

 

This screams of instant gratification. All things worth having in life are worth going through pain to get.

 

How old are you? If you are older than 25, I feel sorry for you.

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Posted
This screams of instant gratification. All things worth having in life are worth going through pain to get.

 

How old are you? If you are older than 25, I feel sorry for you.

 

ouch... 27 tomorrow. ha. I know, damn I feel sorry for myself too. lol. Im over 10 years of failed relationships. Plus I could never be the hurtful kind of player, just keep my heart and emotions to myself will result in the same guy-to-guy lifestyle, but at least I will have the control.

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Posted

unfortunately I enjoy having companionship, but i am so over investing my time and myself into making it last with no return on my investment.

Posted
ouch... 27 tomorrow. ha. I know, damn I feel sorry for myself too. lol. Im over 10 years of failed relationships. Plus I could never be the hurtful kind of player, just keep my heart and emotions to myself will result in the same guy-to-guy lifestyle, but at least I will have the control.

 

Too much cynicism for one so young. You think you're in control, but you aren't.

 

Control is about being brave to take the hard knocks. To not be afraid to love completely, because you will survive the hurt. You do. Advising people to accept semi-happiness over tall happiness - that's not good advice, that's just sad.

  • Like 2
Posted
unfortunately I enjoy having companionship, but i am so over investing my time and myself into making it last with no return on my investment.

 

Then date smarter. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. If you're getting overly invested in relationships, dating casualty won't fix your problem. You need to change your approach.

Posted

If women are players is because they have been hurt and are still with open wounds on ego.

 

It takes you nowhere, its a dead end and you hurt others...

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Posted

Its not sad. It is a harsh reality, but not everyone is successful in love for many different reasons. Everyone cant always get what they want. Thats life, and Im fully prepared to cut my losses. Will I feel differently five years from now... probably, but I need to experience dating from a different perspective which is void of emotion and based strictly on whether or not my needs are being and are going to continue to be met by a potential man before I even consider letting my guard down. I like the term multi-dater instead of player.

Posted
ouch... 27 tomorrow. ha. I know, damn I feel sorry for myself too. lol. Im over 10 years of failed relationships. Plus I could never be the hurtful kind of player, just keep my heart and emotions to myself will result in the same guy-to-guy lifestyle, but at least I will have the control.
Hah - I'm the same way. 27 and have kept myself single for the past few years - just fooling around.

 

It's a good thing, though. The years before that, I saw myself jumping into relationships with people who weren't quite right for me - I also used to have huge gripes about sex.

 

I used to go out with a girl and if it was going south I'd tell myself "damn she seems so bored oh god I'm just not in my element", when in reality there simply was no connection - I can recognize that now. If I didn't sleep/date around, I'd still have trouble figuring out the types of personalities I could clique and clash with.

 

Also, I used to always be SUPER aware of initiating anything sexual. For example if I was on a date I'd go "OMG, we've just been talking forever, we haven't touched yet, should I even bother kissing her" etc etc... And in the end, that thought clutter was dulling the whole interaction. Now being sexual around a woman I'm attracted to is just natural - and I'm not talking about speech. I'm talking about the energy and vibe, the 'oomph' or 'it' factor that you can't really explain when you feel yourself super sexual charged around someone. If I get that FEELING like "damn", I just go for a kiss or escalate - I don't even think about it anymore.

 

I went off a bit about my own experience - but honestly writing it out just helps me recollect my growth.

 

I think after years I can finally say that I'm happy enough with my mental state, my career, my physical state, and comfortable enough in my sexuality that I know what I'm looking for in an LTR - and I'm not against one happening. :)

Posted
Its not sad. It is a harsh reality, but not everyone is successful in love for many different reasons. Everyone cant always get what they want. Thats life, and Im fully prepared to cut my losses. Will I feel differently five years from now... probably, but I need to experience dating from a different perspective which is void of emotion and based strictly on whether or not my needs are being and are going to continue to be met by a potential man before I even consider letting my guard down. I like the term multi-dater instead of player.

 

"Multi-dater" and "player" are two very different things. No one should limit themselves to a monogamous relationship until the discussion of monogamy had occurred.

 

Being a "player"basically means using the opposite sex to scratch an itch and feelings be damned. You can multi-date and still be kind to others and still be open to falling in love.

 

The harsh reality of life is that nothing wonderful comes easy. You're just copping out.

Posted
ouch... 27 tomorrow. ha. I know, damn I feel sorry for myself too. lol. Im over 10 years of failed relationships. Plus I could never be the hurtful kind of player, just keep my heart and emotions to myself will result in the same guy-to-guy lifestyle, but at least I will have the control.

 

Sounds like you just need to find better guys. I also get the impression that you don't think very highly of yourself (it comes across in your writings).

 

I'm turning 27 in a few weeks. I was just hooking up with a girl that I liked. I tried to make it more. She was interested, but then slept with another guy.

 

I promptly ended it and now I don't return her calls. I never will.

 

There are crappy guys and girls out there. The trick is that when they reveal themselves, don't blame yourself and cut them out as soon as possible so you don't go down with them.

Posted
Hah - I'm the same way. 27 and have kept myself single for the past few years - just fooling around.

 

It's a good thing, though. The years before that, I saw myself jumping into relationships with people who weren't quite right for me - I also used to have huge gripes about sex.

 

I used to go out with a girl and if it was going south I'd tell myself "damn she seems so bored oh god I'm just not in my element", when in reality there simply was no connection - I can recognize that now. If I didn't sleep/date around, I'd still have trouble figuring out the types of personalities I could clique and clash with.

 

Also, I used to always be SUPER aware of initiating anything sexual. For example if I was on a date I'd go "OMG, we've just been talking forever, we haven't touched yet, should I even bother kissing her" etc etc... And in the end, that thought clutter was dulling the whole interaction. Now being sexual around a woman I'm attracted to is just natural - and I'm not talking about speech. I'm talking about the energy and vibe, the 'oomph' or 'it' factor that you can't really explain when you feel yourself super sexual charged around someone. If I get that FEELING like "damn", I just go for a kiss or escalate - I don't even think about it anymore.

 

I went off a bit about my own experience - but honestly writing it out just helps me recollect my growth.

 

I think after years I can finally say that I'm happy enough with my mental state, my career, my physical state, and comfortable enough in my sexuality that I know what I'm looking for in an LTR - and I'm not against one happening. :)

 

Haha funny. I've recently gotten out of my player phase too (that lasted A LONG time)....at just about 27. I guess this is the age where guys get serious.

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Posted

Haha, yeah thats when my boyfriend told me he became a man 27/28. Thanks guys. You are right. Im really just at that settle down phase and wanting to build something as a team. Dont want to waste anymore years trying people out. My time needs to be spent on production, but with someone. Too many years trying to build the foundation. Stalling me. Frustrating.

Posted
Haha, yeah thats when my boyfriend told me he became a man 27/28. Thanks guys. You are right. Im really just at that settle down phase and wanting to build something as a team. Dont want to waste anymore years trying people out. My time needs to be spent on production, but with someone. Too many years trying to build the foundation. Stalling me. Frustrating.

 

Then that requires putting yourself out there, and being ready to weather more heartbreak.

Posted
Sounds like you just need to find better guys. I also get the impression that you don't think very highly of yourself (it comes across in your writings).

 

I'm turning 27 in a few weeks. I was just hooking up with a girl that I liked. I tried to make it more. She was interested, but then slept with another guy.

 

I promptly ended it and now I don't return her calls. I never will.

 

There are crappy guys and girls out there. The trick is that when they reveal themselves, don't blame yourself and cut them out as soon as possible so you don't go down with them.

This happens to a lot of men, expect they dont really speak up about it here. There are other more male centric forums online where you hear more about how women pull this kind of stuff.

Posted

YES, and you girls are over protecting yourselves now!!!

 

It is a case of, the "victims" outpower the bullies, but then, BECOME the bullies.

 

The student, becomes the teacher, but becomes the mean teacher.

 

The afraid, become strong, but too strong.

 

You girls have become the bullies. Happy now?

Posted

My girlfriend was probabaly just like you. Instant gratification; when you start wanting something serious with a serious person you WILL pay the price.

 

Why he will notice that you see sex as only sex and WILL freak out.

 

Unless you find someone just like yourself! A person you will not trust!

Posted
Well I NEED sex haha. Its easier to be semi-happy always. Then to continually try for complete happiness only to get unhappiness for the last ten years. Its like gambling. Id rather settle for a small steady profit than to go big then go home. It provides safety and stability.

 

Get yourself an nice little (or big...) vibrator

Posted
Safety and stability?? Sounds like low self worth to me.

 

 

What's wrong with stability?

Posted
Its all about protecting ourselves these days.

 

Nonsense.

 

Being a player has nothing to do with protecting yourself. Stringing other people along with false promises you are not intending to live up to has jack squat to do with protecting yourself and everything to do with being a terrible person.

I protect myself by not dating idiots. No need to "be a player".

 

That sounds like a plan though.

  • Author
Posted
What's wrong with stability?

 

I crave stability! I need stability!

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