Leigh 87 Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 What sort of relationships do you guys tend to favour and seek out? I am very interested in the sorts of partners most people settle for. Did you: a. feel really into your partner from date one and get quiet excited to receive their calls. You fell madly in love, with in 3 months? b. you were not that excited about dating them initially, you dated them along with a few others for a month or so before deciding that they were the most "compatible". You never had that passionate type of relationship, but you grew to respect each other immensely and you have a very happy and stable relationship. or C (and I am guessing is the most COMMON). You were not all that into each other initially, you dated other people before deciding they were a match, but over a lot of time you became passionate about them and you grew to develop the butterflies. Personally, I like a guy to be smitten with me from date one, but not due to looks or due to how "desirable" he finds me. I am talking about the "it" factor that makes a guy nuts about you, but not because he thinks he has found a trophy wife or the like. I don't do the whole " he met me, still saw other people, and took a few weeks to decide who he liked best". I prefer a guy to be into me from the start, to the point where he most looks forward to hearing from ME, so much so that it is fruitless for him to seek out others to sake since I am the only woman that is on his mind. I ALWAYS ended up finding men who immediately piqued my interested FAR MORE than all the other men I dated. The guys who immediately got me the most excited were not the best looking out of the other men I was dating. It is not about going for the "hot bad boy". Therefore, I didn't see a point in dating others when there was one guy I HAD romantic feelings towards, opposed to the others who I had no interest in kissing, nor was I excited about our dates. I find that I have hear of a lot of couples who were not all that crazy about each other and were not passionate initially, only to give each other a chance and then grow to love each other deeply but over many months, opposed to the falling in love by 3 month thing some couples have. Furthermore, I have heard of some of those slow burn relationship styles never end up with a passionate relationship, but more of a relationship built on being secure and stable, with a reliable family unit in place once children come along... Then there are those who BECOME passionate and BUILD the butterflies up. Very interested to hear your stories.
deathandtaxes Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 My relationships, where we agree to be bf/gf, not just casually dating, always fall under A. That feeling, you just know it, and it's returned by the other person, and all the stupid games and rules are thrown out the window. It feels crazy, it feels good. 2
ctxinfl Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Category A for me. I suppose if I'm around someone on a regular basis, maybe a co-worker, some sort of chemistry can develop over time. Though for the most part I need to feel rather immediate chemistry. 1
newmoon Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 C didn't like current bf at all, thought he was ugly and a loser. had fights a lot. but we eventually became friendlier and friendlier and i could see he had amazing values and character and treated me really well. it took a very very long time for me to like him 'in that way' though. 3 years. we worked together so that put us in daily contact/conflict. it finally got to a point where he was the first person I wanted to share stuff with and the person I wanted to help give me advice and etc. - that is when I knew my feelings had shifted.
Snakechammah Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 As for me, it was definitely A! Happened really quickly too. It was mutual, we both met, fell in love and agreed to be exclusive within a week! But of course, being an astrofreak, I had drawn up a synastry and composite chart for both of us to see if what we had was real. So our intense feelings for each other and the astro analysis of our charts basically cemented the relationship. I feel truly blessed!
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 C didn't like current bf at all, thought he was ugly and a loser. had fights a lot. but we eventually became friendlier and friendlier and i could see he had amazing values and character and treated me really well. it took a very very long time for me to like him 'in that way' though. 3 years. we worked together so that put us in daily contact/conflict. it finally got to a point where he was the first person I wanted to share stuff with and the person I wanted to help give me advice and etc. - that is when I knew my feelings had shifted. Are you passionate about him now? Do you have hot bedroom chemistry or do you have sex as a means to an end, a bonding activity that sort of feels good yet is not as hot as "other" men you have felt more passionate about?
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 As for me, it was definitely A! Happened really quickly too. It was mutual, we both met, fell in love and agreed to be exclusive within a week! But of course, being an astrofreak, I had drawn up a synastry and composite chart for both of us to see if what we had was real. So our intense feelings for each other and the astro analysis of our charts basically cemented the relationship. I feel truly blessed! Same same! My boyfriend likes to look up star signs. Ours aligned. I don't pay them much stock, personally. He is an Sagittarius I think, the one on the 17th of December, where as I am a Capricorn. He is Chinese star sign: pig. I am a rabbit. We pretty much said I love you after about 2 weeks. Months later we still feel the same yet fall deeper as time goes on. 1
J21 Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 I've had both instances where a relationship grew from option A and option B. It's weird, but I learned that A was a lot more fulfilling (to me at least) and lasted longer. So it's A for me. This might sound very cold, but if I don't feel the chemistry after the first date; I'll tell them it was nice meeting them and never text/call them again. It sounds a bit cruel but that's the easiest, most uncomplicated method. I would want that too if the other person didn't have interest in me either. It's clean cut and simplified. Why waste each other's time and effort? Going on pointless dates suck. I don't do the whole " he met me, still saw other people, and took a few weeks to decide who he liked best". Exactly the reason I don't multi date! I dont know maybe I'm a lot more tradish than I think. People say that it's a disadvantage, blah blah blah, but I don't mind it. Plus it's too much work juggling multi girls too.
newmoon Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Are you passionate about him now? Do you have hot bedroom chemistry or do you have sex as a means to an end, a bonding activity that sort of feels good yet is not as hot as "other" men you have felt more passionate about? the chemistry was always there; the fighting was its own chemistry if that makes sense. even though we didn't get along we were still drawn to be around each other and talk/disagree. the physical chemistry is better, because prior to this guy I was in category A, so I was basing everything on looks/attraction. with this guy I didn't go that route so it's more 'spiritual' if that makes sense; more about the whole person and not just the attraction. he's not the hottest boyfriend I've ever had, so 'passion' wouldn't describe it; more of butterflies, wanting to be with the person and knowing you're loved. more comfortable than passionate, but that is what suits me and what I like, so I like that.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 the chemistry was always there; the fighting was its own chemistry if that makes sense. even though we didn't get along we were still drawn to be around each other and talk/disagree. the physical chemistry is better, because prior to this guy I was in category A, so I was basing everything on looks/attraction. with this guy I didn't go that route so it's more 'spiritual' if that makes sense; more about the whole person and not just the attraction. he's not the hottest boyfriend I've ever had, so 'passion' wouldn't describe it; more of butterflies, wanting to be with the person and knowing you're loved. more comfortable than passionate, but that is what suits me and what I like, so I like that. Cool, so he does give you butterflies? The second date I had trouble sleeping and had butterflies leading up tot he date, I felt a real high. I felt really elated and thrilled at the build up towards being sexual, it was exciting and awesome thinking about our "first intimate encounter". There was more depth to it at the same time, though.] It is very interesting how your relationship is different yet still works well for you; you seem to know what "A" types feel like yet love your current guy just as deeply minus the passion.
mammasita Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 I had one relationship where I tried to convince myself that I should give the guy a go. He was "OK" no crazy chemistry, he didn't make my fingertips tingle when I thought about him. Definitely good looking, a great guy, would do anything if I asked him to - but I was just "EH" about him. My guy now was all him from date one, I didn't want to date anyone else. He actually mentioned first that he doesn't date more than one person at a time and I was more than OK with that. I had butterflies and moist panties from our first kiss LOL.....and the rest is history. We've got a hot date tonight 1
soccerrprp Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 With my current gf, it was a combination of A and C. When I first met her, I was "WOWSA I better not screw this up!" But not too far into dating her, it was clear she had some issues she needed clear-up (and yes, I managed to kind of screw things up) and we literally let each other go thinking we would never see or speak to each other again though we had feeling for each other. Anyway, long story short, I dated other women for a while and she moved on, left the state to do her own thing. We are now together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's all that counts.
kodakgirl Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 I am an A... romantic interest, for me, seems to be an on-off switch-- I REALLY feel it or I don't at all. I've never had the kind of mild interest that could be built upon. For me, dating -- ie, going on more than 1 or 2 dates with someone-- is a big deal emotionally, and I don't want to get into it unless I REALLY want to.
Silver93 Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Personally, I like a guy to be smitten with me from date one, but not due to looks or due to how "desirable" he finds me. I am talking about the "it" factor that makes a guy nuts about you, but not because he thinks he has found a trophy wife or the like. I don't do the whole " he met me, still saw other people, and took a few weeks to decide who he liked best". I prefer a guy to be into me from the start, to the point where he most looks forward to hearing from ME, so much so that it is fruitless for him to seek out others to sake since I am the only woman that is on his mind. I am usually the kinda guy your explaining here. If I saw a girl I like then I can not stop thinking of her. None of this 'have a look around and see if there is someone else I like'.
FrostBlaze Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Only happened to me once(falling in love), and it was more of a C on my side, but it was unrequitted love. She acted like a "A" toward me, but it was all a lie i guess, complicated story, thing only lasted 3 months. I guess i will always fall under C, because i honestly never liked someone from the get GO. 1
amaysngrace Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Mine is an A. We met in a public place. I was interested in him. I checked him out a lot. As soon as I left he told a lady there, "you see that? I got to have that" Then three days later we bumped into each other in a different place and talked for an hour but never even got each other's names. Then almost two months later we bumped into each other in another place and he said "can I get your number?" and I said "what is your name?" so it was kind of clear that we had both been thinking of each other but so he called me that night. Eight years strong <3 1
Phoe Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 For the first time in my life, I'm scenario A. In the past I was always very slow to become interested, but kept at it.
Sivok Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 My most successful relationships are 'A'. B - Did this once, felt like I settled, ended it a few months later. 1
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 15, 2014 Author Posted March 15, 2014 So. Any other A's out there? And do people who multi date continue to date others once they found their "A" I don't get how you can really feel a spark with someone, to the extent where no one else really compares, and yet still date others?
Chico333 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 I am normally a mix of A and B. A has happened to me a couple times. The last time was definitely an A but I still continued to date others, as I did not want a committed relationship at the time.
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