HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 This is probably going to sound a bit silly really but its playing on my mind... Basically was seeing a guy for 3 months (things were great then literally died in one day!) i have since worked out he's back with his ex. At the time this happened I finished with him (I did make it clear I would like to make things official he asked for time to think so I dumped him... Im not going to wait for anyone he should know after 3 months).. and I knew the ex had made a reappearance. Anyway I deleted him from all online places that very day including FB... the reason i done this was because I actually really liked the guy and having learnt from my past experiences its best to cut all contact... However just lately I am wondering how this reflected on me.. a friend told me that someone she was seeing removed her and she thought this was terribly immature and trying to gain attention and suddenly it made me think about how it made me look! I certainly didnt do it because Im immature or to make any kind of point I done it for my own 'moving on' and no other reason (I only have friends and family on my FB which he knows) I dont know why its bothering me so much but I just dont want to come across as a bit weird or like I was throwing my toys out the pram or that he meant nothing to me. I know most will say it doesnt matter what he thinks and yes thats correct I know why I done it but it is bothering me how it may have reflected on me! x Some advice would be great x
Gaeta Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 It does not reflect in a negative way. I would do the same. It's well known to be able to move on in a healthy way we need to cut out bridges with this person. What's the alternative? You remain FB friends with him and you watch him bathing in happiness with his gf? and all this to keep appearances? Nah.
d0nnivain Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Removing an EX from social media is not immature. It's part of the healing process. Healing won't happen if you are constantly barraged with pictures of your EX's new life
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 Yea that's exactly why I done it but we were only seeing each other for 3 months wasn't like we were in a LTR relationship .. I was really falling for him tho x I can't believe this is bothering me now I done it 2 weeks ago! I hadn't even thought about how it might reflect on me until my friend said that x grr I don't honestly know wether to explain to him!! x
Divasu Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 It only seems like a big deal now/it's bothering you because it's still fresh. After some time has passed it won't seem like a big deal at all and you'll hardly give it a second thought.
xUnknown Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Personally, I saw do see it as an immature thing. Which is why I never unfriended or blocked my ex when we broke up. I do think its a cry for attention. But, I do understand the dumpees point of view for doing it. I could go either way. I think it depends on the length of the relationship and how serious things were.
Gaeta Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Yea that's exactly why I done it but we were only seeing each other for 3 months wasn't like we were in a LTR relationship .. I was really falling for him tho x I can't believe this is bothering me now I done it 2 weeks ago! I hadn't even thought about how it might reflect on me until my friend said that x grr I don't honestly know wether to explain to him!! x It doesn't matter how long you've dated, it doesn't matter what your friend thinks. The only thing that matters is what YOU need to move past this. If you need to unfriend him then do so. And no, it's not ridiculous to feel this way after dating 3 months. You are unique and have your unique way of feeling and no one should dictate you how you feel, not even your friend. If she was a true friend, if she cared about you like real friends are suppose to then she would ask YOU how you feel and she would support you in what you need. She would not point to you how others may feel about your actions. Who's important here? You or your ex and his entourage? 1
J21 Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 I think its perfectly fine. Personally i would do the same. I think it is awkward leaving them on ur fb list and all that. At the end of the day, it matters not what they think. Rather u minimize the pain it will cause u than pretending its ok and see their feed and what not. It will eventually take longer to move on for u if u didnt do what u did.
Author HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 It doesn't matter how long you've dated, it doesn't matter what your friend thinks. The only thing that matters is what YOU need to move past this. If you need to unfriend him then do so. And no, it's not ridiculous to feel this way after dating 3 months. You are unique and have your unique way of feeling and no one should dictate you how you feel, not even your friend. If she was a true friend, if she cared about you like real friends are suppose to then she would ask YOU how you feel and she would support you in what you need. She would not point to you how others may feel about your actions. Who's important here? You or your ex and his entourage? Oh no she wasn't saying it aimed at me it was just general chat about the guy she was seeing & then I realised I'd done the same thing! been on my mind ever since x
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