where did I go wrong?

[letgo6]

hi everyone..

im in a mess situation right now..please somebody give me an advice.

 

I was in a 11-year lesbian relationship, she's the butch type..exactly a year ago, she left me for someone else.. Im all messed up, cant eat, cant sleep, i was even admitted to a hospital and was diagnosed with lupus.

 

During those months, I did everything I could to save the relationship..I begged and cried..still she stayed with her new girl. I also did NC, which usually lasts just a couple of days and starts all over again..NC - text her - NC..that cycle happened for 8 months.

 

They broke up after 8 months, my ex caught her cheating on her.. So there I was comforting her..being a good friend and all.. After a few weeks, we got back together..it was not the same relationship. We always fought for what happened..blaming each other..and then I caught her she's still calling and texting that girl..so again we broke up.

 

After a week, I found out they are together again..this time I keep my distance. Do NC - text her - NC again... I asked her if she's happy with her and she said I dont know..However, there is one thing that's bothering me, she told me that "maybe I cannot let u go because of the years we've been together" that hurts me ALOT.

 

Is being together for a long time (10 years in relationship) really affects how you feel for that person? Even if you dont love them anymore, it seems like you still do?

 

Any advice? Please?

[LifeGoesOnMan]

hi everyone..

im in a mess situation right now..please somebody give me an advice.

 

I was in a 11-year lesbian relationship, she's the butch type..exactly a year ago, she left me for someone else.. Im all messed up, cant eat, cant sleep, i was even admitted to a hospital and was diagnosed with lupus.

 

During those months, I did everything I could to save the relationship..I begged and cried..still she stayed with her new girl. I also did NC, which usually lasts just a couple of days and starts all over again..NC - text her - NC..that cycle happened for 8 months.

 

They broke up after 8 months, my ex caught her cheating on her.. So there I was comforting her..being a good friend and all.. After a few weeks, we got back together..it was not the same relationship. We always fought for what happened..blaming each other..and then I caught her she's still calling and texting that girl..so again we broke up.

 

After a week, I found out they are together again..this time I keep my distance. Do NC - text her - NC again... I asked her if she's happy with her and she said I dont know..However, there is one thing that's bothering me, she told me that "maybe I cannot let u go because of the years we've been together" that hurts me ALOT.

 

Is being together for a long time (10 years in relationship) really affects how you feel for that person? Even if you dont love them anymore, it seems like you still do?

 

Any advice? Please?

 

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/366654-caliguy-no-contact-guide-updated

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/84894-guide-second-chances

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/462922-if-you-want-them-back

 

 

that's all the advice you need.

[d0nnivain]

I was the one who ended a 12 year relationship. Part of me will always care about me but with the passage of a lot of time I came to realize why we weren't healthy together.

 

You haven't really allowed yourself to heal because you kept trying to reconcile. You have to find a way to maintain NC. Even though you were a very good friend to console your EX through her broken heart, she rejected you a second time & the whole interaction was very bad for you.

 

Surround yourself with positive people. Box up the mementos. Make some positive changes in your life.

[lvroflife]

Instead of fighting about the cheating learn what caused her to stray.