Kens8156 Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 We had a relationship for almost 2 years, there was never much fighting etc, you could say it was a good relationship. Then she quite suddenly broke up with me 1.5 months ago while I was abroad for a few weeks, saying she needed time to figure herself out. I beg and pleaded (shouldn't have done that of course) and in the end wrote her an email saying that I agreed with the break-up. After reading it, she deleted all of our pictures from her fb page. Yesterday, I found out she has already someone else and she defriended me and blocked me on fb. It's really weird since she said she wanted to remain friends with me... furthermore, I still see her father every week and he's not happy with the way she's handling all of this... blocking me and ignoring me is kind of a bad move when she knows her father will ask me about all of this, don't you think? Her father didn't even know she had someone else, although he specifically asked her a couple of times... she's really going to have some trouble explaining all of this! I think she has GIGS (Grass is Greener syndrome), all of the "symptoms" are there... I'm not yet over her, but I know getting back together is a bad idea. The guy she's together with now was making moves on her for months by the way, and it seems like she has finally given in, I feared for that all along... I think she'll realize her mistake one day, since I was the guy she would never leave and she would marry me and have kids with me. So I think she'll come back to me, but I hope I've been healed enough by then to reject her
d0nnivain Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 She did you a favor by blocking you. You don't need to be looking at her FB page & her new life. Go out & live yours. If you are right about GIGS & her coming back that is the only way you will be strong enough to say no. 1
Chi townD Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 This isn't GIGS dude. GIGS is wanting to see IF there something else out there. She already has someone else. So, this is cheating. She gave you that bullsh*t story of figuring herself out. As soon as she got confirmation that you two were actually broken up, she took down the pictures of you two because she didn't want to upset the new guy. Then, she blocked you on Facebook because she didn't want you to see what a lying bitch she was. She blocked you so she can interact with the new guy and post pics and communicate on each others walls without any interference from you and hoping that you remain clueless. Blah....blah.... So, there ya go. Go NC. Sooner or later she's going to feel guilt. That will probably happen when the "honeymoon phase" of their relationship ends. Then, she'll might reach out to you to see if you hate her. Ignore it! Stay NC and heal from this. Move on with your life and make positive changes. 5
VeronicaRoss Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 I agree it's healthy she's blocked you. Your no longer a couple and she wants to start a new romance -- who wants the disapproving ex hanging around? Why would you want to do that anyway? You need to focus on your own new life too. Maybe when she sees you're happy again she'll want to talk with you occasionally. Btw, there is no reason why she should be considering what you and her dad want. I wonder if she may not be open with the two of you because the two of you see her as an extension of yourselves instead of an respectful, autonomous adult. Who wants to talk with that? That viewpoint very well may be why she's your ex. 1
Jethro Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Do yourself a favor. Suspend your facebook account for a while. It is pure evil incarnate for people going through a tough breakup. You can thank her (silently) for saving you from that. 1
Author Kens8156 Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 Thanks for the support guys! I'm staying in NC now, have been for 2 weeks now and it actually feels good! For the record, the only thing her father and I expect from her is to be mature and talk to me in person, which she very obviously doesn't want to do... I agree that I have been too suffocating in our relationship at some times, but not to the extent that I understand how she's acting right now... the best thing for me is to stay in NC and heal... I know I'll eventually get over her so that's what I want to do!
Chi townD Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Yeah, and if you see her father. Do not talk about her, do not ask about her...nothing.
Sandy99 Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 I think it's really disgusting how some people act when they break up, and either left the ex for another or just met a new person immediately. Your ex most likely wants to erase you from the face of the earth. She doesn't want any reminders of you. Reminders will create guilt and confusion for her. She wants to convince herself that she made the right move and she's probably going to give this new relationship a try. But just know her actions are likely going to be excessively dramatic for a while, because that's probably what she has to do in order to transition into this new relationship. Just ignore it and know that she's playing games more with herself than with you.
Author Kens8156 Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 Just ignore it and know that she's playing games more with herself than with you. That is exactly what I think she's doing, trying to convince herself in the first place. I think at a certain moment it will all hit her, so I don't think this new relationship will last very long and she'll regret her actions in the future... I'm still determined too reject her if she comes back, although it would be a very hard thing to do at the moment!
Author Kens8156 Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 (edited) Thanks for the support guys! I wanted to give you a quick update on the past two weeks. It has been 2 months since the BU and 1 month of NC I've seen her father again and apparently my ex doesn't want to see him anymore. I feel really sorry for him because he's devastated by it. He said he doesn't recognize his own daugther anymore and that she is probably afraid of presenting her new boyfriend to him because she knows her father won't like him (apparently he is kind of a 'tough guy')... I hope she will eventually come to her senses and make a reconciliation with her father. For me, I haven't heard of her since and I really do care less and less about her. Of course I still have my bad moments, but going NC was the best choice ever! I'm determined not to contact her ever again unless she contacts me first. The bad thing is that I'm still very certain she will regret all of what she has done somewhere down the line. She always said I was everything she wanted, that she looked in my eyes and saw a future together. I've never been bad to her, although the last few weeks I was clingy as I felt her slipping away. The new guy is nothing like me and frankly I think they can never be such a good match as we were. He is just a part of her group of friends and thus was a convenient choice, I even think her best friend sort of brought them together. I hope I won't care anymore when she comes back. Right now, I would still have a very hard time saying no, but I know it's the best thing since I could never fully trust her again. I've also been on a couple of dates the last few weeks and I met a dozen of new girls, so I'm on the right way to getting over my ex. I even kissed someone a week ago and it felt really good, it wasn't weird or anything. But I wonder if I am maybe moving too fast? I very much want to start a new relationship with someone, but I'm not sure it's because I want to do it for myself or to get over my past relationship and prove to my ex that I can live without her... Edited March 20, 2014 by Kens8156
Ordinaryday Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Good. it saves you the trouble of blocking her. and bonus points, if you are EVER able to see her profile again then you KNOW with 100% certainty that she was thinking about you and wanted to check up on you because the only way she would be able to see your profile is if she UNBLOCKED you so if she unblocked you then you are on her mind. everybody wins!
Youngy952 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 My ex did pretty much the same. Needed to be alone and focus on herself. 2 weeks later she started seeing someone else and began a new relationship. Removed me and all of our mutual friends on facebook to hide her guilt perhaps. Anyway, immediately after the break she blocked me on a messaging app. I noticed the other day (almost 3 months on) she has unblocked me on it. Why? To rub my face in her new relationship (her display pic of them two, heartfelt lyrics on her status etc.). I then blocked her. They all realise sooner or later, I guess it depends on how long you guys were together.
Author Kens8156 Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 I feel sorry for you Youngy952, I know exactly how you feel. I indeed think they block us to hide their guilt from us but especially from themselves. They know they said things that proved not to be true. I indeed think they will realise, but waiting for it is the worst thing you can do! There are other girls out there and you WILL find someone that can make you as happy or even happier. It this point I try to look at it as it being her loss, she was the one head over heels in love with me while I had doubts from time to time. I know she loved me deeply so I wonder if she feels the same about the new guy. Maybe now she does, but as soon as the first few months have passed (the honeymoon phase), I wonder if she will start comparing him with me
David87 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Who cares that your ex blocked you on FB if, first, she ''blocked'' you in real life?? Seriously. She dumped you and that means you aren't friends anymore. I admit that it sucks being blocked, but that's life, move on;)
Author Kens8156 Posted March 20, 2014 Author Posted March 20, 2014 I agree that being blocked is something I shouldn't worry about... I've been dumped already so it shouldn't matter that much anymore, but it still hurt to see that she doesnt care about me anymore after I've meant the world to her for about two years
rubberman Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 We had a relationship for almost 2 years, there was never much fighting etc, you could say it was a good relationship. Then she quite suddenly broke up with me 1.5 months ago while I was abroad for a few weeks, saying she needed time to figure herself out. I beg and pleaded (shouldn't have done that of course) and in the end wrote her an email saying that I agreed with the break-up. After reading it, she deleted all of our pictures from her fb page. Yesterday, I found out she has already someone else and she defriended me and blocked me on fb. It's really weird since she said she wanted to remain friends with me... furthermore, I still see her father every week and he's not happy with the way she's handling all of this... blocking me and ignoring me is kind of a bad move when she knows her father will ask me about all of this, don't you think? Her father didn't even know she had someone else, although he specifically asked her a couple of times... she's really going to have some trouble explaining all of this! I think she has GIGS (Grass is Greener syndrome), all of the "symptoms" are there... I'm not yet over her, but I know getting back together is a bad idea. The guy she's together with now was making moves on her for months by the way, and it seems like she has finally given in, I feared for that all along... I think she'll realize her mistake one day, since I was the guy she would never leave and she would marry me and have kids with me. So I think she'll come back to me, but I hope I've been healed enough by then to reject her After my girlfriend dumped me not long ago, i came to my sences and blocked her. Removed everything related to her. Also removed her sibilings and her friends. And it have helped my quite well. Not seeing her online in the chat. Not be able to check her profile or pictures.
Maverick89 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 I feel for you bro, I think it's ok she blocked you on Facebook, maybe she doesn't want you to know about her new relationship. My GF broke up with me almost 6 months ago and she started a new relationship right away with a guy that's 10 years older than her. I think it's better if the dumpee blocks the dumper as a safety precaution... I admit I suffered more than I should have for the first 2 months of the BU because I "wanted to know", which now I think it's ridiculous and pathetic. Anyways, it happened, not much to do there, I wasn't following her anymore on Instagram since December (But she could see my photos and even liked some of them), and I recently blocked her on facebook following Chi townD's advice. Just found out I could block her from Instagram as well and I did that too. I think that blocking first gives you the "control", I don't really know if I look now like 'the idiot that can't get over her' now that almost 6 months have passed and I just recently blocked her, but anyways, I don't know if I longer care. I'd be careful with seeing or 'waiting' for her to unblock you and think of it as a sign or something like that, it could just mean that she no longer cares and wants you as a friend, it doesn't necessarily mean that she's thinking of you. Hope it helps.
FortunateSon Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 (edited) My ex blocked me after we broke up, she would then periodically unblock me presumably to "check-up" on me. The last time I noticed that she blocked me was the beginning of January, I immediately blocked her and have not regretted it once ever since then. I am to the point where I am becoming indifferent, but I will likely never unblock her...she lost the privilege to see into my life when she broke up with me. Edited March 20, 2014 by FortunateSon
Author Kens8156 Posted March 21, 2014 Author Posted March 21, 2014 I don't know if blocking her first gives you control, I think not caring and going completely NC and not giving any sign of you caring about it all gives you more control. .. that is at least what I've done and it gives me a good feeling. I didn't even say anything when I found out she already has someone else, and I think she is really upset about me not caring because she knows I know about the new guy. So going completely NC is the best way to go I think
Author Kens8156 Posted April 22, 2014 Author Posted April 22, 2014 Ok, so my ex unblocked me a few days ago, on the day we would have been together for 2 years... this can't be coincidence right? I don't know what to make from this, but I'm staying NC
FortunateSon Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 You obviously still care if you are posting about it. Take the opportunity to block her now, problem solved!! It will be a relief, trust me.
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