Jonson Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Girfriend acting distant? Will asked 5 mins ago - 4 days left to answer So Been dating about 6 months no major problems all nice so far she is very giving and loving and has spoiled me all the time and I have her. So recently she has been having problems with her teenage daughter, and she took it out on me one time. We have spent a lot of time together recently and it's been awesome, we don't live together she has kids so she has to deal with them and I'm ok with that. So she was about distant with me for a day or 2 I gave her her space, but she comes back very friendly like nothing happened. So she asked to meet up with me on Thursday and I'm like ok, then she says she forgot about her daughters parent meeting and said she is sorry about this and can't met up. I'm like sure no problem. So after she was mad at me over her daughter she sent the balloons the said I will always be there for you a card for you and miss you. So like when she had kid problems she became very cold argument with me. I just worry as I love her so much. She pulled back a bit then and said she needed space which I gave. When she comes back she is all into me big time. We have not had an argument in person only on through text after her daughter gave her grief. Am I being to needy or being available to much? So since we've been dating she has bought me lots of gifts since day one including birthdays etc. I spoil her to. So last night she said she has ordered me something and sending to my house and asks will I be home for it. I'm like wow ok. So she sent me some balloons to my house and with hearts and one had I miss you on it. And a note saying I'm sorry So I did not call or text her all day, and she then texts me and starts asking about my motorbike and stuff, she was nice to me. I told her good night after a brief chat and she said the same. She said she really misses me. She also said last night she has really soft spot in her heart for me. And always will Is this normal for a girl to get distant when things are really good with us, and also when her kids are giving her grief. I have not seen her for over a week Is like as soon as I don't call her she comes running. So should I wait until she wants to meet up? Give her space and make her miss me?
Gaeta Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 You've been dating for 6 months I think you're past playing these games of who calls first and whom chases whom. You need to sit down and have a conversation as to where this relationship is heading. 6 months is an important step. It's the *make it or break it* point. So if I were you I would have a conversation with her on if you are in this together or not. If you want to see her then call her and tell her you want to see her and ask when it will be possible and make plans right there. If you want to see her more often tell her so as well. You're handling this as if you had 3 dates together and you don't want to step on her toe. After 6 months it's time you talk about your wants and needs in this relationship. 1
Author Jonson Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 Yeah I know she is having problems with the kids but is not my fault and she is taking it out on me. She said she never wants to lose me, we have had a very good time so far and seen a lot of each other lately. Could this be to much for her? The other thing is I'm going away for 3 weeks on business/family stuff and asked that if she wanted I would take her with me at first she was all into going, now she don't wanna go she says cause of her daughter I'm like fair enough. But it seems like she is upset I'm going and said she is sure going to miss me. Maybe I'm just over reacting about it all and just let things go where they are supposed to?
Gaeta Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 She never wants to lose you but she's taking her frustration out on you...nice. If she has problems with her kids then she needs to seek professional help like family counseling. Shedding your frustration on your boyfriend of 6 months is not normal. After 6 months you should still be on cloud number 9. Maybe if her life is that hard with her kids she should not be in a relationship. She also seem to lack communication skills. Now she has decided to not go with you on that trip but she seems frustrated at something somehow. ASK HER : You seem annoyed what's the problem? You know Jonson you don't sound like you're having any fun dating this woman.
soccerrprp Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 I have mixed feelings about this. If you truly love her and she's really into you, then you should not have any problems talking about this to her. Some people don't do well with stress and so what you see is what you will get in the long term.
Author Jonson Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 I known she cares and loves me no doubt in mind. She has been hurt bad before she has bought me loads of gifts over time and has been very loving al the time until last week. I'm i giving her enough space? She was all sweet and flirty with me last night and she started it. She said her daughter is the problem with the trip, she is only 13 I dunno could she be fed up with me and seeing someone else? I guess I want more and she can't give it. We are happy together she is cuddly and kind when I'm around.
Gaeta Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 I known she cares and loves me no doubt in mind. She has been hurt bad before she has bought me loads of gifts over time and has been very loving al the time until last week. I'm i giving her enough space? She was all sweet and flirty with me last night and she started it. She said her daughter is the problem with the trip, she is only 13 I dunno could she be fed up with me and seeing someone else? I guess I want more and she can't give it. We are happy together she is cuddly and kind when I'm around. I am not sure I fully understand what is your problem. You say you know 100% she loves you, then she's very demonstrative loving and cuddly with you. So what's your problem? What is it that you want? More time? How often she takes her frustration out on you? and how does she do it? Is she rude? screaming? mean? what?
Author Jonson Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 I just want more time with her that's all. She goes out with her friends enough without me. She got mad at me a few times last week. But she comes around quick and is sweet. She said she was mad that I was going out with my friends, all in text she ignore me only did this twice. Do you think she is seeing someone else?
Gaeta Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 I just want more time with her that's all. She goes out with her friends enough without me. She got mad at me a few times last week. But she comes around quick and is sweet. She said she was mad that I was going out with my friends, all in text she ignore me only did this twice. Do you think she is seeing someone else? 1. She takes her frustration out on you 2. She gets mad at you a couple of times a week 3. She ignores you and pout 4. She needs space I think your girlfriend is mean and immature and you are cligny. How old are you both?
Author Jonson Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 She only argue with me in the last week. ANd it's been so good so far, when we together we never argue and have the best times. I think I'm pushing her and I'm to clingy so should I back off and not talk to her? We in our mid 30s
Author Jonson Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 The other thing last sat she was going out with her girly friends ok, and im like so hows it going she says ok im just watching tv, she got all wierd cause i said i was going out with my buddys? so i did not here from her all night unsual and the next day she did go into work? she did not say any more about it. But she was a sweet with me in the morning.
Gaeta Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 She only argue with me in the last week. ANd it's been so good so far, when we together we never argue and have the best times. I think I'm pushing her and I'm to clingy so should I back off and not talk to her? We in our mid 30s Like I said, you should have a conversation with her about your relationship, ask her if she's happy, would she change something, what would she change THEN YOU tell her how you would like things to be, and you talk about how you can compromise so both of you are happy in this relationship. You set time aside for this conversation, don't start it out of the blue. Wait that she is quiet with nothing else around then invite her to sit with you and talk. That's how you handle a relationship Jonson, not by playing games of push and pull and giving space. Your giving space could be interpreted as you're lacking interest and it would only be destructive. You've been 6 months together........talk !!
Author Jonson Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 thankyou i like your advice i do really love her alot and yeah maybe im not asking the right questions? she told me after valentines day weekend, she had never been treated so romantic and well im always that way with her. I wonder if she is just not used to someone like me and she is confused a bit. I do worry though i have put alot of time and effort into this and be broken if it dont work out. when should i call her next? and if she gives me the cold shoulder what should i do or say anything?
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