Economist70 Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 First and foremost, I'm not usually someone who posts in an consults forums. But right now, I'm actually lost. My girlfriend and I dated for 5 weeks (Yes, I know this sounds petty and trivial. But I'd fancied her for well over a year and we'd shared somewhat of a decent friendship during this time). I'm 21 and she was my first girlfriend, so naturally I was always going to become overly attached and even more so hurt when it ended. She broke up with me because she was leaving the state to study at University. I offered to go long distance and/or wait but she was adamant in ending it. Then she drew the, "I hope we can still be friends card." I was foolish enough to believe (Initially, anyway) that perhaps we could be friends. That things could go back to the way they were before. But since the break up, contact on both of our parts has been minimal. There are two difficulties at play for me here. 1) I don't want to get over her. My being single for as long as I was wasn't per chance, but rather me being somewhat conservative in wanting to wait for "Mrs. Right". In this time, numerous girls had shown interest in me, but I had backed away (Not for the girl in question necessarily, but just in general because I didn't feel that anything was there with these girls). 2) When we initially started dating, obviously it was natural for her to amalgamate into my friendship group. She was welcomed and all my friends enjoyed her company. But since breaking up, she's continued to text and snapchat them for example, but I'm omitted from these communications. I trust my friends, but given the state of heartache I'm in I can't help but be paranoid an overthink these instances and their possible scenarios. I've later accepted that it wouldn't have worked out being a long distance couple, but it still eats me up inside. We met a few times after breaking up and before she left and every time she justified ending it using me (Not her) as the pinpoint. E.g. "You can do better than me." "You don't want to do long distance." It just makes me feel like I never got the true reason. I've tried to do no contact but as mentioned above, it literally eats me up when I see her contacting my friends and not me. I stalk her Facebook profile and just spend countless hours thinking about what could have been. The worst thing though, she doesn't seem all that bothered at all (Which disappoints me for two reasons. 1) The possibility that I never meant nothing to her and 2) She never came across as this type of girl). I have changed since the break up, going so far as thinking to myself, "It's not worth it. Never falling for someone again." But at the end of the day I recognise I need to get over her an move on. Obviously I'm not an idiot and have since realised she has no interest in being friends.
LifeGoesOnMan Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 First and foremost, I'm not usually someone who posts in an consults forums. But right now, I'm actually lost. My girlfriend and I dated for 5 weeks (Yes, I know this sounds petty and trivial. But I'd fancied her for well over a year and we'd shared somewhat of a decent friendship during this time). I'm 21 and she was my first girlfriend, so naturally I was always going to become overly attached and even more so hurt when it ended. She broke up with me because she was leaving the state to study at University. I offered to go long distance and/or wait but she was adamant in ending it. Then she drew the, "I hope we can still be friends card." I was foolish enough to believe (Initially, anyway) that perhaps we could be friends. That things could go back to the way they were before. But since the break up, contact on both of our parts has been minimal. There are two difficulties at play for me here. 1) I don't want to get over her. My being single for as long as I was wasn't per chance, but rather me being somewhat conservative in wanting to wait for "Mrs. Right". In this time, numerous girls had shown interest in me, but I had backed away (Not for the girl in question necessarily, but just in general because I didn't feel that anything was there with these girls). 2) When we initially started dating, obviously it was natural for her to amalgamate into my friendship group. She was welcomed and all my friends enjoyed her company. But since breaking up, she's continued to text and snapchat them for example, but I'm omitted from these communications. I trust my friends, but given the state of heartache I'm in I can't help but be paranoid an overthink these instances and their possible scenarios. I've later accepted that it wouldn't have worked out being a long distance couple, but it still eats me up inside. We met a few times after breaking up and before she left and every time she justified ending it using me (Not her) as the pinpoint. E.g. "You can do better than me." "You don't want to do long distance." It just makes me feel like I never got the true reason. I've tried to do no contact but as mentioned above, it literally eats me up when I see her contacting my friends and not me. I stalk her Facebook profile and just spend countless hours thinking about what could have been. The worst thing though, she doesn't seem all that bothered at all (Which disappoints me for two reasons. 1) The possibility that I never meant nothing to her and 2) She never came across as this type of girl). I have changed since the break up, going so far as thinking to myself, "It's not worth it. Never falling for someone again." But at the end of the day I recognise I need to get over her an move on. Obviously I'm not an idiot and have since realised she has no interest in being friends. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/366654-caliguy-no-contact-guide-updated http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/84894-guide-second-chances http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/462922-if-you-want-them-back read them all, thoroughly . this is all you can do man. 1
Chi townD Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 Yeah, you need to move on dude. You need to block her on Facebook and all other social media. She's moving on with her life while your still sitting on the sidelines.
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