Author lovebirds Posted March 7, 2014 Author Posted March 7, 2014 That's why I laugh when people say looks matter more to men..op you say he's not that bad looking but you're not that attracted to his face do you mostly date conventionally good looking men? I don't really date. I have only kissed two guys and been in one long-term relationship. I am 23 by the way. But my ex was handsome, I guess. Love made me blind too because most people did not think he was handsome; but I thought he was the most beautiful thing out there at the time (this took some time as well to grow). Let's hope this happens this time as well 1
Bruce Leigh Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 But my ex was handsome, I guess. Love made me blind too because most people did not think he was handsome; but I thought he was the most beautiful thing out there at the time (this took some time as well to grow). Let's hope this happens this time as well Men and women talk to each other about the opposite sex. I will always remember one conversation, when i was quite a few years younger. Myself and my male friends all worked at this one hotel and one of the women who worked there got us discussing her. It wasn't your stereotypical "look at her, wow" conversation. Instead most of us did find her attractive but none of us could say why. She just had "something" about her. We couldn't come up with any particular reason why. (legs, breasts, butt, eyes, hair, voice, etc) Just don't let your friends opinions about what you find attractive stop you dating anyone though. Male "friends" do this quite often, much to my dismay.
Author lovebirds Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 The guy moved to my neighbourhood two weeks ago, so the sun was out for the first time today and I texted him to ask if he wanted to come sit in the garden at my place. Other mutual friends were coming over about 45 mins later, so we had some alone time. This is the first time I was with him alone. He texted that he would love to come over. Asking him to come over was a bold move on my part, in my mind but unfortunately, nothing happened... We talked and laughed and laid on a blanket in the garden enjoying the first sunshine. He had plenty opportunity to make a move. But he did not... Then our other friends arrived so that was it. I could bang my head against the wall for inviting them now, maybe my intentions would have been clearer to him if I had not. Either he is too inexperienced or shy to make a move or he is not interested! What i know is that he had one long term relationship and that's it, no flings etc. So I'm hoping he is just shy. Hell, so am I or I would've made a move myself. Not sure how to proceed now.
Author lovebirds Posted March 9, 2014 Author Posted March 9, 2014 Going to wait it out I guess, I have 3 or 4 oppurtunities to see him this month, but always with other people there. He did mention wanting me to come over to his place (two other people live there so not necessarily like a date...)
Tayken Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 OP...then just make him your FWB, there when you need him like your reliable state farm agent
Bruce Leigh Posted March 10, 2014 Posted March 10, 2014 The guy moved to my neighbourhood two weeks ago, so the sun was out for the first time today and I texted him to ask if he wanted to come sit in the garden at my place. Other mutual friends were coming over about 45 mins later, so we had some alone time. This is the first time I was with him alone. He texted that he would love to come over. Asking him to come over was a bold move on my part, in my mind but unfortunately, nothing happened... We talked and laughed and laid on a blanket in the garden enjoying the first sunshine. He had plenty opportunity to make a move. But he did not... Then our other friends arrived so that was it. I could bang my head against the wall for inviting them now, maybe my intentions would have been clearer to him if I had not. Either he is too inexperienced or shy to make a move or he is not interested! What i know is that he had one long term relationship and that's it, no flings etc. So I'm hoping he is just shy. Hell, so am I or I would've made a move myself. Not sure how to proceed now. 45 mins to make a move? Before your other friends turned up? I think you are right when you say your intentions were a little foggy. Going to wait it out I guess, I have 3 or 4 opportunities to see him this month, but always with other people there. He did mention wanting me to come over to his place (two other people live there so not necessarily like a date...) Will these other people necessarily be there? Maybe he has already arranged for these other people to make themselves scarce for your visit. You say he exudes confidence in a number of areas of his life but you think he is maybe a little shy? Might just have felt a little bit awkward at your place, i doubt he will act the same in his own place. 1
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Hmm.. I dunno. if the lack of attraction is so great that you're asking for advice I would probably move on and look for someone that fits you better.
Author lovebirds Posted March 11, 2014 Author Posted March 11, 2014 45 mins to make a move? Before your other friends turned up? I think you are right when you say your intentions were a little foggy. Will these other people necessarily be there? Maybe he has already arranged for these other people to make themselves scarce for your visit. You say he exudes confidence in a number of areas of his life but you think he is maybe a little shy? Might just have felt a little bit awkward at your place, i doubt he will act the same in his own place. Hey, thanks for your reply. I'm sure he's shy with the ladies, he's only had one two year relationship and I have never seen him flirt with anyone else or heard about it. So either he is shy and interested, or he is simply not interested. Also possible... Since he's only had one relationship it's possible he does not fall in love easily and is also not interested in something like 'dating' to see if we're compatible. I'm visiting a museum with him and one other friend, seeing him at a meeting with 10-15 people and I'm seeing him for dinner with three other friends, and I will be seeing him at a party. He has not asked me to come over to his place yet, but that would be something for the weekend I think. He seemed to have really enjoyed relaxing in the sun in my garden though, so I might ask him again next time. Since it was the first time of us being alone, there's a precedent now to do it again It's already a good sign that I'm seeing him this often, because I had not seen him in 2 or 3 months before March. Again, we'll see what happens.
Author lovebirds Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 UPDATE: Damn I want him. And he's making a move, although in a very shy way. (Stroking my arm while we were watching a movie with another friend) But I know definitely know he's interested and this was not just in my head. So I'll be seeing him again next week (no dates or anything, we just happen to see each other a lot in social contexts lately...). I love the thrill of this, just taking it slow and seeing what happens... This post has gone from 'do I want to?' to 'how can I get him' really quickly... 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I think this is more normal than you think. If we were able to type into a computer a list of all the things we'd want in a partner and it would magically spit one out, we'd ALL manage to find our "type". We can't help but like what we like unfortunately no matter how evolved we may think we are. Having said that, over the years, I have found myself intensely attracted to men that, just by their physical looks alone would never otherwise register on my radar BUT as I got to know them, I found myself falling head over heels for all the other incredible attributes that make them up. From my experience, those were some of the most exciting and fulfilling relationships I had. And when that happens, suddenly they become the most attractive person in the room! If you feel a great connection with this guy and he seems to check off a pile of boxes on your list apart from just one, I encourage you to give it a try. You never know how good it can really be unless you take the leap. Good luck! 1
Author lovebirds Posted April 16, 2014 Author Posted April 16, 2014 !!! UPDATE: So he just left, we kissed rather passionately for 10 mins or so... But I didn't feel it. There was no spark, let's say. I don't know. Damn, it was so promising, but my feelings are saying NO.
thecrucible Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 !!! UPDATE: So he just left, we kissed rather passionately for 10 mins or so... But I didn't feel it. There was no spark, let's say. I don't know. Damn, it was so promising, but my feelings are saying NO. Well it's good that you tried...I think if you felt like you wanted to kiss him, it was right to give things a chance But make sure you let him know where he stands now as soon as possible. I've made that mistake before, but best to put people out of their misery.
Author lovebirds Posted April 16, 2014 Author Posted April 16, 2014 We agreed to talk next time we saw each other when he left. I think he might be hopeful to start a relationship out of this (but might not, I don't know). It was quite a passionate kiss (for a first kiss) with lots of touching. I was really into it physically but something just did not feel right emotionally/mentally. It did not feel right. Not sure if I should let him know (let him know what? aagh) via text or wait until I see him in person again (next week probably). What have I gotten myself into... well, you only live once.
thecrucible Posted April 17, 2014 Posted April 17, 2014 (edited) We agreed to talk next time we saw each other when he left. I think he might be hopeful to start a relationship out of this (but might not, I don't know). It was quite a passionate kiss (for a first kiss) with lots of touching. I was really into it physically but something just did not feel right emotionally/mentally. It did not feel right. Not sure if I should let him know (let him know what? aagh) via text or wait until I see him in person again (next week probably). What have I gotten myself into... well, you only live once. I personally think you should let him know before you meet, so that he doesn't build his hopes up. I know saying things by text may come across bluntly but what if it was you and you were really looking forward to seeing someone, only to have them that they're not interested in you? Trust me I've been in worse situations. I had sex with a guy and then had to tell him I wasn't into him after 3 dates -still get stick for it ever since. There is nothing for you to worry about. Edited April 17, 2014 by thecrucible
Author lovebirds Posted April 18, 2014 Author Posted April 18, 2014 I personally think you should let him know before you meet, so that he doesn't build his hopes up. I know saying things by text may come across bluntly but what if it was you and you were really looking forward to seeing someone, only to have them that they're not interested in you? Trust me I've been in worse situations. I had sex with a guy and then had to tell him I wasn't into him after 3 dates -still get stick for it ever since. There is nothing for you to worry about. Thanks for your advice. I have told him by text that I was very confused and not very good at these things... He replied that he felt the same and that things were a little chaotic. We're meeting up in the park tomorrow morning. I do feel a bit better about things now that I've calmed down a bit. I am most afraid that things will be awkward because we see each other quite a lot in our group of friends. On the other hand, I might want a fwb thing but maybe that's a recipe for disaster...
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