DARKSUN Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 i have been dating this girl since july 2011 it started as a casual relationship <no strings attached type seeing each other party together but strict no to sex> after 8-9 months some seriousness developed things like i don't like u talking to some1 else , u can date some1 else ,etc etc now almost after 2.5 yrs i asked her how u see our future together she said U will b there a vital part as ur now when i asked lets take a decision together bcoz we both know our parents dont agree for us to b together she said i cant say abt future but i cant leave u today. when i said should i wait for her she said no bcoz i might regret that n vl feel devastated if she leaves me after some yrs i m confused n messed up i don't know what to do
Author DARKSUN Posted March 5, 2014 Author Posted March 5, 2014 it started as a casual relationship <no strings attached type seeing each other party together but strict no to sex> after 8-9 months some seriousness developed things like i don't like u talking to some1 else , u cant date some1 else ,etc etc
Gaeta Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 She said to NOT wait so don't. She is being honest with you, listen to what she says and don't assume she is meaning something else. Also, please type full sentences and full words. I cannot understand half of what you're saying. 1
Author DARKSUN Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 hi friend just let me know what u didnt understand ? what to elaborate??
Author DARKSUN Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 If i see no future out of a relationship, should i just break it off or have a good time till i can? I mean that you know that it's not going to work eventually but you both could see each other for some more time and enjoy those moments.
ascendotum Posted March 6, 2014 Posted March 6, 2014 If i see no future out of a relationship, should i just break it off or have a good time till i can? I mean that you know that it's not going to work eventually but you both could see each other for some more time and enjoy those moments. The way I see it, she has given you the green light to leave if you are so inclined and want a relationship with the long term future. It seems the relationship suits her for the time being and this stage in her life, but she can't make any promises for the future. Which is fair enough if you are both still young. Plus there seems to be a further issue complicating things as regards to your parents. If you are happy with how things are cruising with you two then stick around, just don't have any day dreams about you + her + kids + little house in suburbia in x years time. If the relationship has become stale for you then leave. She seems to be pragmatic about the likely limited future of you two. I think in this case you can do what suits you best and while she will miss having you in her life, I think she'll be fine finding someone else soon enough. I think you should have a proper discussion about what both of your expectations are though so you both can do whats best without hurting the other.
Author DARKSUN Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 we met yesterday and discussed everything she left all on me either i can move or either i can stay it will be solely considered as my choice
BradJacobs Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Why not attempt to move on while seeing her? Finding a new job is typically easier when you are currently employed. If this is nsa then she shouldn't care that you are headed for the exit. 1
Author DARKSUN Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 (edited) hi friend thanks for your suggestion if i find a new one while seeing her will that would not be considered as cheating its not full NSA some activities are allowed some are not .. Edited March 8, 2014 by DARKSUN typing mistake
Author DARKSUN Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 what kind of details is there any room for online chat in this forum ??
Noproblem Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Why you have to wait for 2 years and why your parents are against you two being together?
Author DARKSUN Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 our parents are against it because we don't belong to same religion and where i live its an big issue after 2-3 years it will be certain that her parents want her to get married within her community<after she completes her graduation> and then our relationship will get over just like that . i didn't expected to be emotionally attached to her when relationship started but after sometime i got emotionally attached i m afraid if i spent more time with her <2-3 yrs> i might reach a stage where the break up thing will hurt me bad too bad. i have been in relationship with 5 girls earlier none existed more than 6 months because i always run away <reason afraid of heart break ,wanted someone new> and i do dream a future with her now but intensity of it is not so strong that i really/badly want it. she will be appearing for her final exam<graduation> in September and believe me it will be a disaster for her if i leave her now <she said it that she might fail her exam when we were having proper discussion about should we stop seeing each other, i know she will pass but her score may fall > i m afraid for her too.
Noproblem Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 Ok, so don't leave her, but stay as a friend, and start searching for new girls... I just noticed your hometown.. I heard that most of your marriages are arranged? and there is that cast system? I've seen such things... In such societies, love don't win. You can only stay as friends and start searching for a girl who belongs to similar religion..... Waiting will only break your heart ..... You can still be by her side on her graduation and her final exam.. Your story is just a beautiful fantasy that won't happen in such unfair world.
Author DARKSUN Posted March 8, 2014 Author Posted March 8, 2014 yes true most marriages are arranged cast is not so big issue now but inter - religion marriage will be. she will be totally boycotted by her family. should i tell her that i m there for her and its time that i search for a girl who can commit her future to me .
BradJacobs Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 should i tell her that i m there for her and its time that i search for a girl who can commit her future to me . Start searching. She has all ready told you that there is no future. But you might as well tap it a few more times in the interim.
Noproblem Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 yes true most marriages are arranged cast is not so big issue now but inter - religion marriage will be. she will be totally boycotted by her family. should i tell her that i m there for her and its time that i search for a girl who can commit her future to me . Tell her, you will always be her friend, but it's time for you to wake up from this dream. Waking up does not mean letting go of her friendship.
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