avoforastig Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I went on a date last week with a very attractive woman I met via OLD. We met at a pub. I ended up having a little more too much to drink. I meant to just escort her back to her apartment but she ended up inviting me in and I stayed the night. We didn't have sex, but did make out a bit. She seemed awfully nervous during the date and the following morning. She didn't make eye contact very well and nervously laughed frequently. In general, just seemed really anxious both in the evening and the following morning. I was surprised she remained so nervous throughout. Does this seem normal? Do some people just take more time to relax? Could she just be somewhat shy? How many dates should it take for jitters/awkwardness take to wear off? I'm fortunate to live in a big dating market where the odds favor single young professional men like myself. I feel like I'm maybe being too critical of the ladies given my ease of finding dates. What do you think?
d0nnivain Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Despite how nervous she may have seemed around you, she was comfortable enough to allow you into her apartment. That says something.
Sleepyhead Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Some people are just really nervous when it comes to dating. My ex's hands would visibly shake like crazy for the first month we were dating because I'd make him so nervous. I asked him if he had some sort of health problem one day and he said he smiled and said he was just super nervous. Consider it a compliment-- she wants to impress you and for you to like her! Once she's more comfortable around you she'll start to be herself.
ExposedBrick Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 (edited) Sleepyhead, do you have any tips for putting such a person at ease? Edited March 5, 2014 by ExposedBrick
Sleepyhead Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Really it just takes time. She is both nervous and excited. I would definitely not ask her or point out her nervousness because she will become more self-conscious around you. It sounds like she likes you a lot and it's manifesting as nerves. Try to make her smile and laugh, compliment her, just try to make her feel comfortable and like you're accepting of her. When I get severe date jitters a liiiiiittle bit of wine helps me, like if we're out on a dinner date. Not saying get her drunk, God no, but I've found that a small amount of alcohol does make you less focused on your anxiety and self-consciousness. Did she drink at all at the pub? Give her a chance. Some people are super shy but they will open up to you in time and you may be surprised!!!
Recommended Posts