melell Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Thinking about how often posters mention girls liking bad guys... A few things I seem to notice people saying about bad boys are things like recklessness, more likely to cheat, more flippant about the other persons emotions, unpredictable, arrogance etc. Are girls that display 'bad' traits more popular with males also? I wouldn't describe myself as a 'bad girl', but in the initial stages of dating I am rather withheld about what I am thinking/feeling, and less eager to please, less willing to compromise (with things I consider important), and am a do what I want type of person. This is only initially, I am slow to warm to people, and struggle to prioritize people before I am close to them. I can honestly say I myself have never been in the situation where I have needed to pursue someone, it is always the other way round. I have noticed that some of my female friends- equally attractive, same sort of things to offer and what not, have less males pursuing them/males losing interest quickly. They are the nicest people, very open an honest, the type to return every text/phone call, submit to their dates requests, change there plans to suit the date etc. I am not mean, but I can see how that might be the impression I give initially. Is this just the same as the attraction to the 'bad' ? It feels like it applies to both sexes. Thoughts?
A3sthetics Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 (edited) What "is" bad? Real bad girls are ones who "enjoy" when the man gets hurt, but that's why they want the hot tall baller dudes with money, they assume they won't get "hurt" rather will find a new babe. Some do. Some do because, they did not see the "bad girl" as love potential anyway. Guys go through phases. And come in many types. Maybe they want the girl that LOOKS like the bad girl, acts it (the wall) but then he breaks through the wall, and she soften ups. that is so he knows, she LOOKS BAD but is less likely to cheat. She will come down, with him, yet, all his friends can "think" he got the wild one he tamed... That's baller. But, he has to probably sort through a few actual, "f****ked" up bad girls who really will just screw so much to ease their pains away. Unfortunately. And that guy is the 'douche'. hahaha.. sorry if this is all wrong. I'm drunk. Scrap that. Don't listen. I don't know wtf I'm talking about. "real men" can spot a true good hot girl a mile away. Edited March 5, 2014 by A3sthetics 1
gaius Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Oh god yes. Most guys like to conquer, and if she goes all Ukraine on us and doesn't put up much of a fight it's not nearly as satisfying. 2
Canucklehead Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Yeah, guys like bad girls too..... but I do not think most guys want a relationship with one. Like Gaius says, its all about the conquest with a bad girl then move on. Not too many guys wanna take the bad girl home to meet mom
RedRobin Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I dunno. I think people who are attracted to 'bad' people have issues. Male or female. Fortunately that phase is temporary for a lot of people when they realize how much of their own insecurities are in play when they chase after people who don't treat them well, are distant, or play games. Not sure how old you are, but this is often something both men and women learn fairly early or maybe never go through at all if they were raised right. Don't worry about your friends. They will find a good guy who is right for them.... Same for the good guys who want a nice girl. Everyone has to take a few knocks. 1
Silver93 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I wouldn't be too atracted to bad girls. I would be more attracted to the talkative, out-going, bubbly and sincere types of girls. 1
kaylan Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I like feisty, witty, exciting girls with a bit of attitude. Bad girls? Nah. 2
Zimber Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 OP, your definition of a "bad guy" is fairly typical of how society sees a "bad guy" in this context. Its the alpha traits in the "bad guy" that women are drawn to (at least so says the manosphere). Regarding if men like "bad girls"... A3 touched on the need to define a "bad girl". I would define that trait differently for women though. It's about sexual promiscuity for men. The flirty, confident seductress who wears the short skirt (well, you know the type) is ogled. Unfortunately, the "bad girl" title is typically only associated with the hot. An unattractive heavy woman for instance would get awarded a different title and not sought after. Same with men too. A bad guy title would be replaced with loser for the unattractive male. Do guys then like "bad girls" (hot & sexually promiscuous) ... what is "like" Some just want to have sex with them, some it makes them feel more of a man to have the "bad girl" on their arm (who knows). You're right though, you wouldn't be considered a "bad girl", the description of yourself shows strength and good character. You're more of the "good girl" type (or more commonly is referred by the nasty as one of the b**ches). I think most balanced men would be drawn to your type of character as it reflects high quality. In fact, I think there are a couple books written about this very thing (and title). Those were my thoughts. Z 1
Woggle Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I have always been into alternative and rocker type of women but not genuine bad girls. Just because a woman looks classy and demure does not mean she is a good girl. Real bad girls just like bad boy are nothing but drama. 1
Emilia Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 They are the nicest people, very open an honest, the type to return every text/phone call, submit to their dates requests, change there plans to suit the date etc. I am not mean, but I can see how that might be the impression I give initially. Is this just the same as the attraction to the 'bad' ? It feels like it applies to both sexes. Thoughts? Everyone's definition is different as to what 'bad' means. Men often like assertive women who do their thing and won't just submit. This will sometimes result in conflict as gaius pointed it out and guys get a kick out that at times for sure. Some men like women with teeth. I find those that are bored with traditional gender roles tend to enjoy this more. That's not strictly what a bad girl is, it's more of a fantasy within healthy boundaries. If you get that assertive woman to wear short skirts when she cracks the whip... well then those men will salivate. Especially if they get to have sex with her afterwards. In my experience, it pays to keep passion going in relationships. It's definitely one way to keep the chemistry alive. Being slightly unpredictable and a bit mean at times but still being open and honest and reply to every text. You can be loving, affectionate and assertive at the same time. 2
Emilia Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Regarding if men like "bad girls"... A3 touched on the need to define a "bad girl". I would define that trait differently for women though. It's about sexual promiscuity for men. The flirty, confident seductress who wears the short skirt (well, you know the type) is ogled. Unfortunately, the "bad girl" title is typically only associated with the hot. An unattractive heavy woman for instance would get awarded a different title and not sought after. Same with men too. A bad guy title would be replaced with loser for the unattractive male. Do guys then like "bad girls" (hot & sexually promiscuous) ... what is "like" Some just want to have sex with them, some it makes them feel more of a man to have the "bad girl" on their arm (who knows). Agree with some of this but I think it's not so much the promiscuity but the pretend of being one. Women often are very good, nice and submissive. It's not that the guys want to be cheated on and get an STD from her, it's more that they like a more aggressive sexuality from her. 1
Larry56 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I don't think *some* men generally like Bad girls. Maybe high risk guys like them more because they are always generally the "Hotter" type of girls. I talk to *Bad* girls all the time. They are generally the ones who only talk about themselves, materialistic, shallow, think they gods gift to this earth. But in reality they are just painful drags. I just laugh at the thought of being with someone who is just so self-absorbed. A lot of guys I know (and I'm guilty of this in the past) is to get involved with these types of girls because they just really physically appealing and sometimes we want a girl that will turn heads. Buuuuuuut We'd dump a Hot Girl in a second if we could find one who was at least *Cute* but had a great open personality/drama free/likes to do stuff with us that *WE* like. Yeah...I'm sure it swings both ways.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Meh, I don't like bad anything and I'm not bad anything. The only times I was interested in bad guys was when they pretended they were good and until I figured it out. Today I saw this guy at a train station buy a homeless man a meal. Stuff like that is extremely attractive to me. There are too many people that don't give a f-k about anyone but themselves. Genuine kindness is so much more rare and special. 5
Candy_Pants Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Female here. I've had men pursue me because I "look" bad. Tattoos, short wild hair, piercings, classic "sex bomb" figure. They usually realize I am a sweetie sooner than later. As a whole I imagine men would be attracted to "bad girls" sexually, but rarely beyond that.
janedoe67 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Meh, I don't like bad anything and I'm not bad anything. The only times I was interested in bad guys was when they pretended they were good and until I figured it out. Today I saw this guy at a train station buy a homeless man a meal. Stuff like that is extremely attractive to me. There are too many people that don't give a f-k about anyone but themselves. Genuine kindness is so much more rare and special. X2 I am not into games and push-pull and making a man beg just for the sake of it. I am not into men who do this kind of things either. I would rather just say what is on our minds. That is probably why I stunk at dating.
regine_phalange Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I don't think so. I think they prefer someone mysterious they can't figure out, slightly adventurous, and above all, someone who is not eating their usual nonsense. 3
Emilia Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I don't think so. I think they prefer someone mysterious they can't figure out, slightly adventurous, and above all, someone who is not eating their usual nonsense. probably a fair summary
joystickd Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 If its just for sex then yes but for a relationship then its HELL NO
dragon_fly_7 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 (edited) Yes but they don't waste too much time on them, not at the same rate that some women who are stuck with total controlling jerks and picked them as relationship material. It would be indeed very rare (but not unheard of, that exist too) for a well educated man to picked up a messed up, crappy woman for a gf unless he truly has serious issues such as white knight syndrome. In this case, he would feel the need to rescue the messed up bad girl and wanting to change her (just like some women want to tame the bad guy) because he probably had a dysfuntional family dynamics during childhood. Overall, I think think mainly people with self-esteem issues and problems are the ones more likely to stay with a bad guy/girl. They are already unstable individuals. Edited March 5, 2014 by dragon_fly_7
thefooloftheyear Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Id take a Ronda Rousey or Gina Carrano any day of the week...Twice on the weekend... TFY 1
Keenly Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 In my experience, bad girls are emotionally unstable, and more often than not seem to be incapable of empathy or seeing / acknowledging that the things they do and say actually have REAL effects on people. They just do whatever they want and don't care because all they care about is themselves. 2
carhill Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 A few things I seem to notice people saying about bad boys are things like recklessness, more likely to cheat, more flippant about the other persons emotions, unpredictable, arrogance etc. Are girls that display 'bad' traits more popular with males also? In my demographic, yes, they can be 'popular' but that's driven by supply/demand. As an example of 'bad', those would be the substance abusers, criminal offenders, in trouble with DCF regarding their children, assault their boyfriends/husbands, openly pursue other men while in a relationship, etc, etc. Having lived here all my life, I was not immune, though my style was more to fall for the 'deliberate stranger' who appeared 'not bad' at first, or even at second, but grew into the reality of who they are over time as they noted emotional attachment occurring. I would say the philanderers and substance abusers were the most common. I haven't had any go sideways into abuse, at least physical abuse. As far as finding such women 'attractive', I can laugh at a particular low point perhaps 20 years ago or so, where the then new online dating for incarcerated women had just begun and I actually looked at the web site and considered it! We had a huge women's prison in the area (still do) and the idea of 4-6K women eagerly interested in outside contact was warping my sensibilities, gotta admit. However, in the end, common sense took over and that fantasy ended. If I had to put a parameter to 'like', it would be attraction to an attractive woman who displays behaviors which would be considered 'bad'. The delineation is in separating out the attractiveness in the physical realm from the behaviors. Some men find the woman 'hot' enough to overlook the behaviors which they might otherwise find a no-go in a less 'hot' woman. Other men indeed do find 'bad' behaviors attractive in and of themselves. Others pass on the whole deal. I've probably sampled a bit of all of it over the decades. Learned a lot and happy that era is over.
Shepp Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Maybe they want the girl that LOOKS like the bad girl, acts it (the wall) but then he breaks through the wall, and she soften ups. haha (10 characters)
Shepp Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Well "bad" is subjective. Its been banded around so much in relation to guys you know what people mean, i.e. a player. If your meaning: cheating, self-obsessed, arrogant, unkind - then no absolutely not! I wouldn't stay 2 mins! If your meaning: Reckless, a bit unpredictable, rebellious, talks a hard game, risk taking - then I don't find any of that attractive per say... BUT it does have a tendency to go hand in hand with: feisty, confident, passionate, takes no c--p, spontaneous, adventurous, magnetic, spirited, go-getting, thrill seeking - which hands up has me good! I guess for me, I don't like submissiveness in my guy mates and I certainly don't want it my girlfriend. I don't want a 'yes girl' - and i think that's a good thing, because I know I can be a stubborn git & I need a girl who wouldn't take c--p from me. I've never been attracted to the girls who throw themselves at you when your out (where's the challenge in that - and i believe in challenging yourself in all aspects of life), and equally being quite out-going, adrenaline seeking.....i don't want a relationship where i'm in charge and that's that, i want an equal relationship. I remember my nan saying to my mum about my gf, couple of years ago (because clearly they assume i'm deaf) "maybe she's a little bit of trouble, but maybe she needs to be - he's so like your dad, heart of gold but he could just bulldoze a meeker girl.." - I guess she might of had a point. My nan and grandad are so in love to this day, he's hot headed and she's feisty, but if we could be half as happy as they are after 61years of marriage - well we'd be incredibly lucky! And as for the 'hard' exterior but 'soft' underneath - yeah, now you'd have me on the chase 2
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