Avulare Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 There's a new grad student in my department who I've been crushing on lately - I first noticed his OKCupid profile, thought he was cute and saw that we had a lot of stuff in common, and then was stoked when I started seeing him around in person. I've had one direct interaction with him, but I acted like an awkward weirdo because he has pretty eyes and I was nervous. He works in a lab near a coffee table where I work, and though I frequently see him walking by and we sometimes exchange glances, he hasn't come to buy anything from the table since that day. I frequently see him around other parts of campus as well on certain days, and I try to look cute and approachable on days when I know I'm going to see him. I also saw him when I was with some friends at a bar one night... But I wasn't drunk and he was with a group of his friends, so I just couldn't bring myself to go talk to him. After some really s***ty experiences in the past, I'm sort of terrified of guys and can't just go up to them and be flirty like most women can. We exchanged glances a few times but he never came up and talked to me. Given that we see each other quite often passing by, wouldn't he come up and at least say "hey" if he considered me even slightly within the realm of possibility? If he comes up to buy something while I'm working I'll totally try to make some small talk, but part of me just feels like I'm wasting my time again.
Noproblem Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 (edited) Hey, I have a similar story With thus guy who I see him at school and at his work place He stared, he followed me around, he waved goodbye, he joked stupid jokes. But he never talked to me! Needless to say, I did nothing in return But by the time I was interested he just lost interest, he still stares . I still try to be in his way looking good and dressing well. And yeah his twitter made me realize we share same passion which made me like him more, bad idea! But guess what? He now talks with a new girl in front of me that he obviously interested in, and yes he stares at me during talking with her. You see? He talked with her, but me the girl who was alone in front if him tons of times, he didn't? Why? Because he wasn't really that interested in me Regardless of what my silly mind tried to convince me He simply wasn't. Moral of the story, when they are really interested they will talk. Unless they are really really shy and in my case this guy was the kind who waits for the girls to make the first move and I can't do that! Stop stalking his account, and either talk with him or totally forget about him I know it's hard, but hey life is hard! Edited March 5, 2014 by Noproblem
David87 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Maybe he isn't into you, or he is really shy and last, maybe he is the kind of guy who likes the girl to make the first move. Try saying 'hi' one day and see what happens.
melell Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 In my experience even the very shy guys will approach you if glances etc had been shared. It almost seems like human instinct or something kicks in and they can't help themselves. If the guy had serious anxiety or something like that perhaps that would trump the urge, but for the most part I think they will approach. He may just be really reserved, it wouldn't hurt to say hi and just see how he reacts. 2
Silver93 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 There's a new grad student in my department who I've been crushing on lately - I first noticed his OKCupid profile, thought he was cute and saw that we had a lot of stuff in common, and then was stoked when I started seeing him around in person. I've had one direct interaction with him, but I acted like an awkward weirdo because he has pretty eyes and I was nervous. He works in a lab near a coffee table where I work, and though I frequently see him walking by and we sometimes exchange glances, he hasn't come to buy anything from the table since that day. I frequently see him around other parts of campus as well on certain days, and I try to look cute and approachable on days when I know I'm going to see him. I also saw him when I was with some friends at a bar one night... But I wasn't drunk and he was with a group of his friends, so I just couldn't bring myself to go talk to him. After some really s***ty experiences in the past, I'm sort of terrified of guys and can't just go up to them and be flirty like most women can. We exchanged glances a few times but he never came up and talked to me. Given that we see each other quite often passing by, wouldn't he come up and at least say "hey" if he considered me even slightly within the realm of possibility? If he comes up to buy something while I'm working I'll totally try to make some small talk, but part of me just feels like I'm wasting my time again. It could be that he is shy. I am shy and I know that I wouldn't be able to tell if a girl was giving me signals without her talking to me.
Leigh 87 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Be honest with yourself; are you all that attractive, conventionally speaking? Frankly, I would only have the balls to approach a guy and say hi to him if I was considered good looking by most peoples standards. If I were a solid 8/10. Every guy who has had an interest in me came and talked to me. Furthermore, most of the time we also did the whole "glancing" thing:lmao: The one that didn't thought I was too good for him/out of his league. He isn't into you - if he was he would talk to you. He'd find a way unless he was super shy and/or socially inept.
StanMusial Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 It could be that, if your direct interaction didn't go well, he might not be inclined to pursue anything further. I've tried with girls before and if things were awkward or uncomfortable I dropped it. First impressions are everything...
Larry56 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Well...I'm a guy and...I don't agree with what some of the girls here are saying. If he stares at you ALOT then he probably has some interest in you. Lot's of guys are shy/don't want to be rejected/think they are out of your league. Those are the real reasons why guys don't *just* come up to you and try chat you up. In the past I have missed *heaps* of *subtle* hints girls put out there for me. Plenty of times, I cannot even begin to explain how *subtle* some Women are. The funny thing is even if we are talking to multiple girls, it doesn't actually mean we like the girl who is actually giving us all the attention. Seriously, she could be boring the **** out of him, but at the same time if he *thinks* he has no chance with you then he's going to go for the "what options are available". You understand? you have two options a) Wait/Do Nothing/Go Crazy/Get Sad or... B) Create/Do Something/Get an answer Just go up to him and strike up a conversation about blah blah blah whatever. Say I like you, seriously. It's NOT a big deal, in fact if he feels the same he will be stunned. 1
stillafool Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 The next time you see him and he glances your way, instead of glancing back at him, smile. If he doesn't approach you after that he may not be interested. 1
Author Avulare Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 Mk, sort of figured it was a lost cause. I do smile when our eyes catch each other's and he usually smiles back, but it's probably just to be polite. I'm not "hot", but I guess I'm not hideous either. Face and body are probably about average, though several of my straight guy friends have described me as "beautiful" and "cute", and cut me off and said I was full of s*** when I suggested that this new grad student might be out of my league. But you have take stuff like this your friends say with a grain of salt, because of course they want to be supportive. I turn down a lot of guys, because 95% of the guys up here are loser potheads. It sucks, though... My school is in an area with a HUGE pot/drug culture. This is literally like the third guy I've seen on OKC who doesn't have weed in his "Six Things I Could Never Do Without" section, and the first one I have anything in common with. And most importantly, he seems to be pretty intelligent. Can't wait to move out of here... :\
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