mortensorchid Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 So since the beginning of the year, I have been seeing this new guy. He's a good man so far, I don't know him all that well but so far so good. We don't see each other every single weekend, he and I have both started to introduce each other to each other's friends (which isn't that necessary because we both know much of the same people). Last weekend, we were at breakfast at a place near me when another restaurant customer us to asked about that scene in the 40 Year Old Virgin speed dating scene which we were having a laugh about. The customer asked what it was, he was older and had never heard of it before. We told him, the new guy said he had done it once although it wasn't half as funny as that scene in the movie. I said I was afraid to attempt it, how embarrassing. The other restaurant customer asked "Oh is that how you two met?" I said no, we met otherwise just before Christmas. He said "Oh so you two are?" Admittedly, this was a random stranger being nosey and all, but we looked at one another and I said "Um ..." He said the same thing. I said "We'll see what we'll see." Did I handle it right? I think we are just casual at this point (and if we are that's fine with me), don't want to be a demanding person.
brok3npromise Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Ugh. I hate that "talk". Can't people just let things naturally progress?
Eggplant Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I hate nosey people. Just tell him you're friends.
PegNosePete Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Did you handle it right? Well are you happy with what you said? And was your guy happy with that you said? If so then what's the problem, why over-analyze?
mr_dave Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Ugh. I hate that "talk". Can't people just let things naturally progress? But unless you have that talk at some point, it gives carte blanche to cheat, sleep around, multi date etc. A lot of people say things like "Well we hadn't agreed to be exclusive yet" or "well we're not boyfriend and girlfriend, only dating." - technicalities to excuse any crappy behaviour. 1
J21 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 But unless you have that talk at some point, it gives carte blanche to cheat, sleep around, multi date etc. A lot of people say things like "Well we hadn't agreed to be exclusive yet" or "well we're not boyfriend and girlfriend, only dating." - technicalities to excuse any crappy behaviour. Agreed. Huge, huge difference IMO between having that talk and clarifying the bf/gf relationship than just assuming it is one. If they feel/want the same thing. It should be a relatively painless conversation and hopefully not as awkward lol. 1
PegNosePete Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 But unless you have that talk at some point, it gives carte blanche to cheat, sleep around, multi date etc. A lot of people say things like "Well we hadn't agreed to be exclusive yet" or "well we're not boyfriend and girlfriend, only dating." - technicalities to excuse any crappy behaviour. Your 2 sentences seem contradictory. First you say that without a talk, anything goes. Then you describe that as crappy behaviour. I don't get why you guys make it so complicated for yourselves. If someone treats you badly or feels the need to make excuses for their crappy behaviour, then don't see them again. If you have to tell them that you don't want them seeing others, then they're obviously not all that into you, otherwise they would have dropped the others of their own accord anyway. I just don't get it, never have, never will!
mr_dave Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Your 2 sentences seem contradictory. First you say that without a talk, anything goes. Then you describe that as crappy behaviour. I don't get why you guys make it so complicated for yourselves. If someone treats you badly or feels the need to make excuses for their crappy behaviour, then don't see them again. If you have to tell them that you don't want them seeing others, then they're obviously not all that into you, otherwise they would have dropped the others of their own accord anyway. I just don't get it, never have, never will! But how would you ever know they have dropped the others unless you have a talk about it? 1
J21 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I don't get why you guys make it so complicated for yourselves. If someone treats you badly or feels the need to make excuses for their crappy behaviour, then don't see them again. If you have to tell them that you don't want them seeing others, then they're obviously not all that into you, otherwise they would have dropped the others of their own accord anyway. I just don't get it, never have, never will! It is just a simple conversation that clarifies the relationship as bf/gf officially. If your personal preference is not to have one, that is fine, but I dont understand where the complication lies. If anything, it frees up any complications and misunderstanding. ie: "Well we were never bf/gf" 1
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