JG31 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Recently I started having an affair with a married woman. Here's the full story. We're co-workers and her husband has been avoiding her and just all around not being a very good husband and one night I comforted her, one thing led to another and we had sex. (It was also my first time) I felt really guilty that I had sex with a married woman and I felt like I was ruining her marriage (even though it was still pretty terrible before but still) But after that we avoided each other for the most part and acted like nothing happened until one night she was crying again and we had sex yet again. I couldn't hide my emotions and we started having an affair until she decided we should stop because she felt guilty and I didn't talk to her at all after that. Then I started hearing how things got worse and she may be leaving him. Anyways, I went on a vacation from work and now word is out that she slept with another co-worker for one night. It made me insanlely jealous, but to be fair it was a weak moment with all the stress, she was drunk, and I wasn't there. Well then I stupidly started sleeping with every female co-worker I could and I imagine that made her already low-self esteem even lower and she probably now thinks I'm just a player. But anyways I guess my real questions are how I should approach and talk to her, and should I feel guilty for sleeping with a married woman?
OhThatGirl Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Yes you should feel guilty. That's another mans wife. She is responsible but you are too. Learn from this. You both need to quit sleeping with coworkers. This is a mess. Apologize to her for getting involved with her while she was married, tell her you're sorry for your behavior afterwards, and let it go. 3
Zahara Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 (edited) she slept with another co-worker for one night. It made me insanlely jealous, but to be fair it was a weak moment with all the stress, she was drunk, and I wasn't there. I'm sure she was crying on his shoulder too and boo hooing about how horrible her husband was and then they slept together. Wake up. I'm just wondering what sort of workplace this is with people having affairs and then you sleeping with every female co-worker. Doesn't anyone care about reputation, dignity, professionalism, intergrity??? What sort of work environment is this and what's wrong with you? Edited March 5, 2014 by Zahara 1
babycakees Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Wow...if there was a communicable disease, you'd all have it. This is a complete disaster. Don't dip your pen in company ink! 1
kaylan Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Op, all I can say is walk away now. Nothing but drama is ahead when you lose your virginity to a married coworker.
Realist3 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I can't tell you how you should feel, but I can tell you that from your post you sound very immature. You are stepping into a huge pile of mess with your actions, sir. Sleeping with one co-worker is enough trouble, but multiple? You are going to quickly find yourself looking for a new job. 4
fireman81 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Most perniciously, cheating can become self-reinforcing. When we cheat, we have a tendency to rationalize the behavior. We can’t change the past, so we change our attitude and justify our actions. But that adjustment, while it may make us feel better, also makes us more likely to cheat again: we cheat, we rationalize it, we accept it, and we cheat once more.
ThatsJustHowIRoll Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Best advice? Don't $h!t where you eat. Unless you want to get a reputation at work....the wrong one.
janedoe67 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 She has issues that you cannot fix, OP, and though she may think it made her feel better to escape with you, it really just makes things worse for both of you. I can understand, since she was your first, why it hurt when she was with someone else. But she is not available practically OR emotionally. Married people ARE NOT available, period. I would just let it go and end any nonessential contact with her. And step back from the women in your workplace. Talk with a grounded friend or older, admirable man about all of this and try to heal and mature.
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