Tulipsgold Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Can someone pllllllllllease tell me how it's possible that 3,5 months after the break-up I'm starting to get the idea I'm feeling worse instead of better? With the time that passes, I only miss him more. It seems he is forever on my mind. I didn't feel like this 2,5 months ago. Why now? With every work-out I do, walk I take, evening out I enjoy, dinner I have (these activities all to completely GET my mind of him), it works the complete opposite. As if I can't enjoy them anymore now that he is out of my life. I find myself fighting harder than ever to not break NC. And I'm getting to the point where I am fed up with this. I don't want to feel like this anymore, I don't want to feel sorry for myself anymore. I don't want to cry anymore. It has been 3,5 months , there should be some progress by now right? Honestly you have no idea how dissapointed I am with myself. I got home from work yesterday, dropped on my bed, crawled up and cried as if we just broke up yesterday. I am so mad at myself, for still feeling like this. Cause I am fed up to the back of my teeth. I thaught if you'd get to that point, you'd start moving on. However I'm not, it is as if I'm taking steps back. What am I doing wrong? Everything feels like a serious truggle...
jphcbpa Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Can someone pllllllllllease tell me how it's possible that 3,5 months after the break-up I'm starting to get the idea I'm feeling worse instead of better? With the time that passes, I only miss him more. It seems he is forever on my mind. I didn't feel like this 2,5 months ago. Why now? With every work-out I do, walk I take, evening out I enjoy, dinner I have (these activities all to completely GET my mind of him), it works the complete opposite. As if I can't enjoy them anymore now that he is out of my life. I find myself fighting harder than ever to not break NC. And I'm getting to the point where I am fed up with this. I don't want to feel like this anymore, I don't want to feel sorry for myself anymore. I don't want to cry anymore. It has been 3,5 months , there should be some progress by now right? Honestly you have no idea how dissapointed I am with myself. I got home from work yesterday, dropped on my bed, crawled up and cried as if we just broke up yesterday. I am so mad at myself, for still feeling like this. Cause I am fed up to the back of my teeth. I thaught if you'd get to that point, you'd start moving on. However I'm not, it is as if I'm taking steps back. What am I doing wrong? Everything feels like a serious truggle... dont beat yourself up. this is part of the process. do not rush it. learn what you need to learn. let this help you build a new foundation for a better version of you. if you need to cry, then cry...let it out....consider them liquid prayers.
d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Some of it probably is the time of year. You were apart through the "big" couple holidays: Christmas, NYE & V-Day. You most likely put on a brave face & powered through so now it's catching up to you. Among the things that helped me heal was a list of all the reasons he was a jerk / we were better off apart and trying new things / mixing up my life & adding stuff he wasn't part of. Even something as simple as a new hairstyle or rearranging the furniture in your living space can help.
jphcbpa Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 OP have you tried / wanted to reconcile? I am not sure of the backstory.
btvdts Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I read on here on a few different posts about people going through the same. its the phase when reality sets in. it actually happened to me as well. although its true about what they say that time will heal wounds, sometimes time just stops and it just hits you. just remember to do what makes you happy...
JunkYardDog Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 What sucks is that there is a guy out there (like me) feeling the same thing as you. A guy that would do anything to have someone who cares for us as much as we do them and yet we both ended up with the complete opposite of who and what we are and need. People are just wired differently is what it comes down to. Some can just flick a switch, others would still be with their first love if given the chance. I hope you find that guy someday and that pain leaves you forever come that day. 1
Author Tulipsgold Posted March 5, 2014 Author Posted March 5, 2014 OP have you tried / wanted to reconcile? I am not sure of the backstory. Haven't tried, do want too. After 3,5 months I still haven't let go of the thought of us maybe getting back together. Think about it now more than ever. But I know it's not a good idea so I won't... I just always thought I was pretty strong, but I have never had SUCH a hard time in my life
4everalones Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 wow, It's like I wrote your post. I've been posting all over this forum trying to figure out what's wrong with me. It's been 2 months after the breakup and I feel worse every day. I also tried to workout, go out, keep myself busy. Nothing worked. I even got a makeover and changed my living space. But he's still on my mind 24/7. You are not alone, and people here told me that it's normal and it will pass. I really hope so because I feel like I'm going insane and will never be able to get him off my mind. Keep NC going, don't reach out, and eventually (hopefully) we'll look back and it will be just a painless memory. Good luck in your recovery. You are not alone.
Musing Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I read on here on a few different posts about people going through the same. its the phase when reality sets in. it actually happened to me as well. although its true about what they say that time will heal wounds, sometimes time just stops and it just hits you. just remember to do what makes you happy... I can attest to this. Going through it now. The first month, maybe two or three (depending on person) you kind of heal with a safety net of denial. Even if you say, you swear, that you won't go back or know the person is totally done there is always left over residue in that back of our mind that the ex might come back.. Then when you realize that every day, special occasion, and reason for them texting you went by and they still haven't contacted or made the reach for reconciliation, that safety net is gone and you're faced with a new reality. The struggle 1
BC1980 Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I went through the toughest days right around 90 days of NC. It's because reality is setting in. When you start NC, you get on a high initially, but, as time passes, you realize that you have a new routine, and this actually is your new life. It hits you all over again. Don't beat yourself up okay? We've all been through this. I'm at 6 months NC, and I still feel a deep sadness when I think of him. Keep making sure you are focusing all of your attention on yourself, and find new ways to improve yourself. Sometimes, you must forcibly divert your thoughts until it becomes a habit. I made a list of goals for the rest of the year, so I can have something to focus my energy on when I get down. Hang out with friends and family when possible because that really helps me. 3
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