Is it lame if you are still living with your mom till you are 26?

March 4, 2014

You define you OP. Youre educated, make your own money, and getting your finances in order. If chicks wanna pass on you, let em. Trust me, as long as you have a job, car (get one), and are educated, you should do just fine dating.

Ive seen guys with less education than you, and less money making potential than you, kill it with women. This is a fvking forum. Dont take it too seriously. Its super easy to date nowadays. Get an OKC profile, and that Tinder app to supplement the people you meet in real life.

Get your style game on point, work out some, make moves in your career...and youll profit with the ladies. While I do think a relationship may be a little difficult with only one partner having their own place...I think you could easily manage to casually date without your own place. Just depends on what your intentions are.

Edited March 4, 2014 by kaylan

March 4, 2014

As someone who is 25 and lives at home with my mum - yes, it is lame .

It doesn't have to be in your case however, I'm sure you will do fine. You have a direction and a plan. That should be enough .

March 4, 2014

I'm in the 'it's lame' camp, I'm afraid, unless you specifically moved or stayed home to take care of an ailing parent. I would far rather a man who is independent and takes longer to clear his debt than a man who is living with his mother. Anyway, as others have mentioned, you can get a house share for $500 a month, so why choose your mother's place?

I left at 19 and never spent a night home again. Has it always been easy? HELL no. I just this minute walked through the door from a fourteen hour workday, same again tomorrow, same again Thursday, eight hour days the other four days of the week, to pay my way through my postgrad. I would rather do double these hours than move back home, not because there's anything wrong with their place but because I feel that in order to be respected as an independent adult, you have to act like one. But that's just my opinion.

I wouldn't sweat it, OP. Like you've seen, many people think it isn't an issue too. The right woman won't care, she may even be in a similar position. Just, for me, I value independence far more highly than financial factors. Having my own place since 19 has taught me the value of hard work and the value of having no safety net... that 'fear factor' of not earning enough to be able to pay the rent sure gets you off your behind and into work when you feel as though you are too tired to carry on. Last placement I worked 75 hours per week, wrote 40k words, volunteered 4 hours per week, saw my friends, and began a relationship, all while coping with a chronic pain condition requiring the use of prescription painkillers including morphine. I'm not saying I'm superwoman, far from it. Just that if you are willing to put the effort and time and dedication and determination in, you can make stuff happen* and I value the same in a partner.

*health-wise, when I was on buprenorphine, there is no way in HELL I could have managed any of that. I couldn't even handle a 12 hour working week, because I was falling asleep all the time, on the floor at work, while driving (that was scary and I started getting the train after that... which I fell asleep on and missed my stop), in the supermarket, honestly I was basically narcoleptic. No amount of hard work, dedication or drive or ambition could have negated those physiological effects.

Aware I'm gonna get flamed for this because it looks like I'm boasting. I'm honestly not. I am just being honest. I'm also aware that some men might pass me by because they think I won't have enough time for them, or they think I'm insane for putting myself through all of that just to get my education while being independent. Different strokes for different folks

Edited March 4, 2014 by acrosstheuniverse

March 5, 2014

Alright, Thanks for awesome responses. I decided what i want. As i said right now i have 7k cd debt, 6k masters loan, in 6months i will be paying mom total 3k, and i will pay 4.5k in september and another 4.5k in february for masters.

Here is my 6 months plan. I will get 7k loan from bank to clean my cc debt so i wont pay penalties. It will save me near 1k. And i will pay it back for 6 months for 1.3k

Also pay mom 500 every month.

Also pay 750 every month for masters loan.

Why 6 months? 6 months after is september. I will be on my second semester of master degree and i want to be on my feet for that year. So september is a great point to start a new thing.

There will be only 280 dollars left for me to spend every month for 6 months. I will stick to it. Even going to sell my electrical guitar, amplifiers, some old university books etc to make extra cash.

I have literaly no time for second job. This is all i have got.

So, my vision is to get my own flat at my last days of 24 not 26.

Let the challenge begin.

March 5, 2014

Given your age and circumstances, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Especially if you are paying bills and taking care of yourself (ie mom isn't doing your dishes and ironing your shirts for you...)

What's up with the $14k CC debt though? What did you buy?

March 5, 2014

Given your age and circumstances, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Especially if you are paying bills and taking care of yourself (ie mom isn't doing your dishes and ironing your shirts for you...)

What's up with the $14k CC debt though? What did you buy?

My cc debt is 7k not 14. My master loan is 6k and i will be paying 9k more in a year for it.

As i wrote earlier, after my ex dumped me i got into a self destructive pattern and had some unhealthy bad habits. Got rid of them now but still paying.

March 5, 2014

I put a question mark over anyone over 25 living with the parents.

March 5, 2014

I left my home country when I was 20, my sister lived at home with our mother until she was 26. There are marked differences between our personalities: most importantly that she is less confident of making big decisions for herself without spending a lot of time agonising over them and even then she won't make a jump for years.

I think when you go through difficult times successfully in your younger years, you become more resilient and confident because you learn that you can stand on your own two feet and you will be fine. If you live at home, inevitably you are in wrapped in cotton wool unless you are in an abusive environment. Being pampered too much tends to breed emotionally weak and less resilient people in my experience.

So it would be a deal breaker for me. I tend to relate to men that became independent early on in their lives.

March 5, 2014

I think its lame personally. I think anyone who still lives at home after 20 isn't doing it right.

26 is really pushing it. If you are still home by then, you will be almost 30 years old by then. Being self sufficient earns quite a lot of respect for me.

If you pay your mom 500 bucks, there is no reason why you can't find a room mate(s). I was living on my own at 17, and 500 is exactly what I pay as my half of the rent today.

Having a mental disorder that nearly killed you isn't lame. That's why I live in a flat my parents own...so the same as living at hlme only without my parents present.

They live overseas, as I once did. In my honest opinion, I have lewd a more colorful life than all my friends who live out of home. I did better at school than they did too.

Unfortunately, I a bad mental disorder that caused me to drop out of school. Plus I was mercilessly bullied and a total loner; not able to relate to people. I had/have issues that hindered me from attending high school and college at the usual age.....

When I was early 20s I went back to school. After dropping out in year 10. I got over 90% on my college entrance score. I worked my ass off.

I have also managed to travel the world albeit due to my parents. I went to expensive private schools....

So yeah. Not all of us folks who live at home are lacking in brain cells or are lame/ boring.

March 5, 2014

I left my home country when I was 20, my sister lived at home with our mother until she was 26. There are marked differences between our personalities: most importantly that she is less confident of making big decisions for herself without spending a lot of time agonising over them and even then she won't make a jump for years.

I think when you go through difficult times successfully in your younger years, you become more resilient and confident because you learn that you can stand on your own two feet and you will be fine. If you live at home, inevitably you are in wrapped in cotton wool unless you are in an abusive environment. Being pampered too much tends to breed emotionally weak and less resilient people in my experience.

So it would be a deal breaker for me. I tend to relate to men that became independent early on in their lives.

I'm not weak in spite of my "cotton wool" style up bringing. I over came addiction and serious mental issues by my self and I consider myself a strong person.

My cousin on the other hand is wrapped in the metaphorical cotton wool.

He is 23, works in a prestigious finance company, earns good money; yet he chooses to liveaat home. His mum babies her sons.

He doesn't even pay rent:sick:

Where as I am out of mummy and daddies the second I secure a full time.

March 5, 2014

Yeah its lame

Oh well. I think people who don't travel overseas or at least want to see the world are lame. Each to their own.

March 5, 2014

Yeah its lame

To be honest i agree. I feel lame. I will do my best to stick to my 6 months plan and get my own place in september. When i am in my last month of 24.

March 5, 2014

Things like these just make me shake my head as to how far society has fallen.

Don't get me wrong, I don't condone still living at home at the age of 40 or 60 or w/e.

To me it seems that people continuously forget that we still live in a RECESSION, and not everyone has had the advantage of having followed a careerpath which emerged more victorious than another in the initial aftermath.

I don't know what the housing prices are currently at in the USA, but over here in Belgium it's nearly unafforable atm.

Even with my current earnings and parents' additional funding, it still cuts deep into finances.

Additionally, due to the fact that I've had cancer and still take meds on a daily basis, those aren't exactly cheap either.

Despite the fact that I still have a plan on what I want to do, it's far from easy.

Want to find: A woman who isn't so narrow minded about this in today's society. Tyvm.

March 5, 2014

Having a mental disorder that nearly killed you isn't lame. That's why I live in a flat my parents own...so the same as living at hlme only without my parents present.

They live overseas, as I once did. In my honest opinion, I have lewd a more colorful life than all my friends who live out of home. I did better at school than they did too.

Unfortunately, I a bad mental disorder that caused me to drop out of school. Plus I was mercilessly bullied and a total loner; not able to relate to people. I had/have issues that hindered me from attending high school and college at the usual age.....

When I was early 20s I went back to school. After dropping out in year 10. I got over 90% on my college entrance score. I worked my ass off.
I have also managed to travel the world albeit due to my parents. I went to expensive private schools....

So yeah. Not all of us folks who live at home are lacking in brain cells or are lame/ boring.

Sorry Leigh, I see a bunch of excuses.

Traveling the world as an excuse as to why you haven't held down steady job or two and moved out on your own I beleive reinforces my stance, as I feel you didnt Earn it.

If you are over 20, and Able bodied , I think there are almost no acceptable excuse to not live with film mates at the very least.

March 5, 2014

Things like these just make me shake my head as to how far society has fallen.
Don't get me wrong, I don't condone still living at home at the age of 40 or 60 or w/e.
To me it seems that people continuously forget that we still live in a RECESSION, and not everyone has had the advantage of having followed a careerpath which emerged more victorious than another in the initial aftermath.

I don't know what the housing prices are currently at in the USA, but over here in Belgium it's nearly unafforable atm.
Even with my current earnings and parents' additional funding, it still cuts deep into finances.

Additionally, due to the fact that I've had cancer and still take meds on a daily basis, those aren't exactly cheap either.

Despite the fact that I still have a plan on what I want to do, it's far from easy.
Want to find: A woman who isn't so narrow minded about this in today's society. Tyvm.

While cancer is expensive, and I don't know what its like in Belgium, the housing bubble crash in the united States was almost six years ago. So here. I'd never let the " the economy Is bad " excuse fly. .

There are jobs . People just don't do them because they feel entitled to ' better ' work.

That's how it is in the land of red white and blue anyway.

March 5, 2014

While cancer is expensive, and I don't know what its like in Belgium, the housing bubble crash in the united States was almost six years ago. So here. I'd never let the " the economy Is bad " excuse fly. .
There are jobs . People just don't do them because they feel entitled to ' better ' work.

That's how it is in the land of red white and blue anyway.

True enough.

Before this whole economic fiasco started, I studied 2 years an interpreter before switching to teacher training.

I couldn't have predicted the outcome of the situation, nor evolutions in my personal life.

I only graduated recently, and personally, I've found that there's little to no need for teachers anymore. (Not in cities, nor rural areas.)

Don't get me wrong, I've tried with all schools in the region, yet was turned down because they either recently accepted someone and didn't update the job opening, or were looking for someone with more extensive teaching experience.

Despite that I currently have a 6 month contract with a security company, so I'm still making some money.

As a result, I don't feel entitled at all for something.

True, it would be nice to land something permanent, but only time will tell.

Quite the contrary, I'm extremely glad that they accepted me for the position regardless of my lack of experience in the sector.

March 5, 2014

Wouldn't be a deal breaker for me, btw im 27 going on 28 and I dont even have a license driving is scary stuff.

March 5, 2014

Not going to lie, being single I would rather be living with my parents than on my own. I would be saving tons of money and could buy whatever I want such as a bigger truck with awesome mods hahaha. But my parents are 100+ miles away so that's out of the question haha.

My friend who's an engineer (25 years old about to be 26) still lives with his mom, brothers and sisters and he makes $45k/year. Saving so much money on living expenses he pretty much gets to do what he wants because he has the finances and he still pulls plenty of women.

Dating wise, I doubt a girl will find it a deal breaker that you're living with your mom, but when things get serious I'm sure it will become an issue later on

March 5, 2014

Sorry Leigh, I see a bunch of excuses.

Traveling the world as an excuse as to why you haven't held down steady job or two and moved out on your own I beleive reinforces my stance, as I feel you didnt Earn it.

If you are over 20, and Able bodied , I think there are almost no acceptable excuse to not live with film mates at the very least.

I wasn't abled bodied; from age 18 I was 38 kilos/about 70 lbs, supposed to be a curvy body type, and at 5'5 and virtually bed ridden.

I was ill. I couldn't function adequately. I dropped out of school due to that and severe bullying. I am not lying when I say it is crippling to have to face people who constantly talk about you and demonize you for the way you look (I was ugly growing up).

I dropped out of school for very good reasons, including the fact I was physically debilitated.

I wouldn't call a walking skeleton " able bodied". Maybe if your female friend, mother or sister gets the illness I had, you would wake up to yourself and understand that it is serious and can even hinder your personal development.

But hey, what was your score in your college entrance exams? I went BACK to school and scored 92%! I can get into law and a bunch of other "good" degrees that could land be a prestigious job. So yeah, I know ALL ABOUT hard work and "dedication" and having to be strong. I studied all day every day and went without a lot in order to do reasonably well.

May I add - I am opting to study social work as a degree instead of law or another better earning prospect because I want to dedicate my life to helping others who were not as fortunate as me. I will make about 50K a year and won't ever be comfortable since my boyfriend wants bratty kids (but that's another story!)

I am not ashamed at the fact I live at home.

I am also keen to move out ASAP, and therefore I am doing an advanced one year diploma AND COLLEGE at the SAME time.

I also work part time!

So don't talk to me about being "able bodied" yet " being "defective" due to living at home.

I can ASSURE you, I have been through some very hard times, and now in spite of the fact my parents DO NOT REQUIRE rent from me and they DONT REQUIRE me to move out...

.....even still, I am working my ass off double time in order to get my advanced diploma before my college degree finishes so that I can WORK FULL TIME while I study at college.

And you couldn't tell me apart from those who live alone and have done for sometime - I am hard working and I have done a lot of things in life that even hard working, high earning folks haven't yet dare afford themselves.

I have been to 5 continents including Russia and I have lives in Asia before, as well as having done well in school when I went back as an adult after dropping out.

....So yeah, guys don't exactly "tell" any difference in my intelligence and life experiences from that of my peers that "moved out".

I also pay rent even though they try to decline it, and I work DOUBLE time to do college AND a diploma so I can move out and work full time during college, even though I DONT HAVE TO.

I HATE living at home, I fcking HATE having to deal with dad he is a grumpy ******* and he is home a lot of the time .

I am too damn busy to wash up every meal I make pronto but omg dad will have a grumble if I don't dare clean up RIGHT AWAY.

I hate him and hate living at home, I am too freakin busy to clean up every meal I make right away (but I do it later within hours).

I wish I hadn't fallen ill all those years ago but there is nothing I did wrong that caused me to fall ill and have to drop out of school and now live at home as a result.

Unfortunately, I have no choice but to live at home; I need to work full time in order to support sharing even the most basic flat with people.

So now I VERY annoyingly have to do a diploma AND a fcking degree AT THE SAME TIME as well as work part time, JUST so I can secure a full time job after the short lived diploma and move the eff OUT of this hell hole.

Edited March 5, 2014 by Leigh 87

March 5, 2014

Hmm I think I personally would prefer living with my parents more than having room mates, but me and my parents have a good relationship. I personally wouldn't bring a girl over to a house or an apartment that I share with a bunch of guys, just like I wouldn't bring a girl over to my parents' (if I was living there).

In my opinion, it's almost the same thing, you're really not living "alone." Even if you live with your parents, majority of the time you will still have your bill responsibility, you'll probably end up doing your own clothes, and paying rent. Only plus side of living with parents is that you get a nice cooked home made meal every once in a while haha.

But if you're talking about being out on your own and having your own place (unless you're sharing a house/apartment with a significant other), I personally would classify that as living in an apartment or house that you can call yours, that you hold down by yourself, etc.

Each scenario has their benefits, just matters on the individual. Early 20's-mid 20's, I definitely don't see anything wrong with living with parents if the person is going to school, has a career, taking care of their responsibilities, etc.

Where I see the issue at is if you're living with your parents and all you're doing is playing video games, staying home all day eating all the food, not contributing, and not making any attempt to better your future.

Some people don't have the option to go back and live with their parents, so if you're blessed to have that opportunity such as the OP or the other posters in this thread, why not take advantage of it? I say do what is best for your life, and if that means living with parents to help with a financial situation you're having, then go for it. Utilize your options, it's nice to have a fallback option

All because a particular person chooses to bulldoze through a rough patch in their life without using the support of parents (respect to that person because they earned it), doesn't give that person a right to criticize other people who choose to go a less stressful/easier route to help with their issues.

Edited March 5, 2014 by I_Like_To_Golf

March 6, 2014

OP, consider this.

We have well to do professional women in their 30s on this forum who still arent settled down. Think about that. They have their own places, are highly educated, and have decent cash flow, yet still have dating difficulties.

Whats the point im making? Everyone will run into dating issues whether they are "made" , or are still on their way there. Dont worry about the chicks who cant understand your situation. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Realize that you are a catch dude. Youll soon be gainfully employed, well educated, and out doing big things. If certain women cant see that....fvk em. Do your thing and keep truckin'.

March 6, 2014

It's funny the women who automatically judge these guys like this, but get made because they get called a whore or slut for dropping the drawers. It's ok to not like something but if you don't want to get called something then don't call someone something because it's not what you want to agree with.

March 6, 2014

I left my home country when I was 20, my sister lived at home with our mother until she was 26. There are marked differences between our personalities: most importantly that she is less confident of making big decisions for herself without spending a lot of time agonising over them and even then she won't make a jump for years.

I think when you go through difficult times successfully in your younger years, you become more resilient and confident because you learn that you can stand on your own two feet and you will be fine. If you live at home, inevitably you are in wrapped in cotton wool unless you are in an abusive environment. Being pampered too much tends to breed emotionally weak and less resilient people in my experience.

So it would be a deal breaker for me. I tend to relate to men that became independent early on in their lives.

Funny thing is I'm 31 still at home and more independent than a lot on their own and probably struggled more than a lot of them. It's easy to assume just because someone is still at home that they have the easy life. The thing is you know what happens sometimes when you assume

March 6, 2014

I used to think living at home would either be a dealbreaker or at least a hindrance when it came to dating--until I met my FI's brother.

He's 26, has no car, lives at home, and his mom has to drive him everywhere. He has no plans to move out--and women flock to him. He works at a gas station and women come in and hit on him, not the other way around. He's kind of socially awkward. These girls are nice, normal girls. They take him out and drive him around until he dumps them.

I'm amazed every time this happens.

March 6, 2014

I think if you explain it just like you did here to the woman, she may think you're smart and responsible. It's the ones who live with their moms because they like being babied and also let their moms into every facet of their lives including their dates that women shun and rightly so. But do get out once the debt is gone. You can't really fully mature until you're living on your own -- and that means by yourself without someone to replace Mom.

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Is it lame if you are still living with your mom till you are 26?

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