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Is it lame if you are still living with your mom till you are 26?

youcanever

By youcanever
in General Relationship Discussion

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youcanever Established Member

youcanever

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Guys,

 

Right now I am 24. I have a great engineering job at a very well known american automotive company. I make 36k per year. Also having my master degree.

 

Right now I have total 7k credit card debt to 2 banks. Also right now I have 6k masters degree loan and also I will pay total 9k more for next 2 semesters. So, in 15 months, I'll be paying total 22k and also living expenses which I send mom 500$ per month.

 

I am living with mom and that means I'll be living with her till I clear my debt, which is 1.5 years later when I will be 26. Even though I get my own flat that time, I will have no car and for a 26 year old guy, it is lame isn't it?

 

I gave too much detail about my situation. What do you think about living with mom thing? I am pretty sure it is lame for a girl's perspective but is it a dealbreaker for whole girls? Do you see any alternative to cover my debt? I am open to new idea and solutions.

 

Note: My parents are divorced 10 years ago and I am only child.

Sivok Established Member

Sivok

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First off, $36k a year with a masters in engineering? You can do MUCH better - you should be making atleast twice as much as an engineer. Focus on that.

 

There's nothing wrong with your living situation, but if it keeps bugging you, try and move in with roommates and pay the same that you're paying your mom

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youcanever Established Member

youcanever

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First off, $36k a year with a masters in engineering? You can do MUCH better - you should be making atleast twice as much as an engineer. Focus on that.

 

There's nothing wrong with your living situation, but if it keeps bugging you, try and move in with roommates and pay the same that you're paying your mom

 

I've graduated last year. I've worked at a construstion company for 3 months then got this job, so it is a starter salary for every product development engineer at this company. Now I have 10 months experience here.

 

I've started my masters degree 2 weeks ago, so I still have only my bachelor.

 

Oh and I don't live in USA. I used "$" just to show my debt ratio.

 

But as you said, I am not happy with my salary. This company is a dream company for every new graduate mechanical engineer. So I am planning to get the best out of it for 2-3 years and then look for a better salary.

Sivok Established Member

Sivok

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Ah ok, I'm not sure what the salary standards are in your country. In the US, a bachelor in engineering can be expected to make $60k right out of college (minimum)

darkmoon Established Member

darkmoon

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not lame, no, wait to get a car, yes, i am particular on whether a guy is nice to his mother, if she is backing you in lo-spending, i see a happy family thing, just convert your room into a guy-zone, use masculine color and subtle lighting and masculine artefacts, your mother hopefully will keep out of your life and your girlfriend's

 

 

i wonder if mom gets a few dates sometime herself but feels shy to tell you of her own needs, or even her loneliness, plenty of older women on here discuss the various delights of amour, my dear, me for one :)

Edited by darkmoon
Jethro Established Member

Jethro

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In the States we have had a financial crisis that has lasted quite a while so there are a lot of people that have had to find creative living situations to save money. People are living with their parents, even married couples. Just think of it as a means to an end. If you find the right person they will understand you want to get yourself dug out before you take on more financial responsibility.

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Phoe Established Member

Phoe

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It's not a deal breaker, my boyfriend is 25 and lives with his mom while he builds up his savings. He will be moving out in the summer.

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BJP56 Established Member

BJP56

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Dont fret Im 31 and still living with mom and pop.

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Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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Living with your mom as a grown man will be a turn-off to many women. However, you're young. I think you're smart to get all your ducks in a row financially and with your career before you worry too much about dating.

 

Once you get your own place and are financially stable with a solid career, you'll be all set.

Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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Living with your mom as a grown man will be a turn-off to many women. However, you're young. I think you're smart to get all your ducks in a row financially and with your career before you worry too much about dating.

 

Once you get your own place and are financially stable with a solid career, you'll be all set.

 

 

 

 

Why is it a turn off?

 

 

People with degrees and who are intelligent, productive adults live at home because it's simply too expensive to live alone fresh out of college.

 

 

I had healthy disorder that caused me to live at home at 27 but next year I will move out once I work full time.

 

 

I do think think I'm less desirable than another woman JUST due to living at home. I have also traveled the world and have expensive clothes. If a girl is a terrible person who doesn't work out and is grossly unhealthy say, yet she lives alone...... Most men would prefer a kind girl like me who only lives at home due to waitong to get full time work..

 

 

 

 

I don't see what tje problem is with living with mum. It isn't a sign lf anything.

 

I got 92% on on my college entrance score and I'm very diligent at studying.

 

How is living at home a sign that a person is less intelligent, or less motivated?

 

I live at home due to prior medical issues. Every one else living at home that I know of are professionals who simply cannot afford their own place.

 

In my experience, most professionals living at home did everything just as well as their more independent counterparts. They simply didn't get lucky enough to obtain a high enough earning job to warrant leaving home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is mostly down to luck as to whether or not college grads can afford to live away from home.

Only high earners tend to land lucrative enough jobs that allow them to move....... what about an intelligent nurse or teacher fresh out of college? How do you expect them to get lucky enough to be able to leave home?

 

 

 

 

Only date folks who earn a lot right out of college if you're turned off by most mortals who have NORMAL paying jobs and hence cannot leave home for years after college.

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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Why is it a turn off?

Because most women want a man who is independent and can take care of himself. Living on your own proves you can do that.

 

Further, most men I've known who still live at home are very enmeshed with their mothers. Often the mother has no husband and doesn't date, so she leans on her son to give her company, affection, and sometimes money.

 

I moved out on my own at the age of 17 and have been taking care of myself ever since. So it's hard for me to relate to a guy who isn't on the same wavelength.

 

But in the OP's case, it sounds like he's on a good trajectory in his career and life, so as long as he's not dragging his feet, he'll establish his independence soon enough.

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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

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It's not lame at all.

 

On the contrary I think it's very responsible of you to sort out your debt before doing anything else financially. It shows responsibility and maturity to be able to still live with your mom unlike so many people who just wanna get away from home and finally be independent. Looks like you have your priorities straight...

 

... except... well... why do you have credit card debt? Debt from school is understandable, but if you already owe 6k for school I'm wondering why you would spend so much on your credit cards?

Edited by Hopeful30
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youcanever Established Member

youcanever

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It's not lame at all.

 

On the contrary I think it's very responsible of you to sort out your debt before doing anything else financially. It shows responsibility and maturity to be able to still live with your mom unlike so many people who just wanna get away from home and finally be independent. Looks like you have your priorities straight...

 

... except... well... why do you have credit card debt? Debt from school is understandable, but if you already owe 6k for school I'm wondering why you would spend so much on your credit cards?

 

Thank you for all the replies friends. Yes i am mature to think of clearing my debt before i live by my own but believe me i want that asap. I want to live by myself, on my feet as soon as possible.

 

My goal is to clear my debt in 10-11 months, so i can get my own place and hit last master degree semester while living by my own. Iwant to experience that.

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youcanever Established Member

youcanever

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It's not lame at all.

 

On the contrary I think it's very responsible of you to sort out your debt before doing anything else financially. It shows responsibility and maturity to be able to still live with your mom unlike so many people who just wanna get away from home and finally be independent. Looks like you have your priorities straight...

 

... except... well... why do you have credit card debt? Debt from school is understandable, but if you already owe 6k for school I'm wondering why you would spend so much on your credit cards?

 

Well, it is kind of private but after my ex dumped me 10 months ago i went into a self-destructive pattern and had.couple of bad habits which cost me a lot. Did they help me to move on? Maybe a lil but i wish i havent done them, so i could be living on my own now.

Phantom888 Established Member

Phantom888

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If you have a plan, and don't plan to stay with your mom forever, you are fine. You are paying $500 to your mom right? That means you are not mooching off of your mom. A man with a plan is NOT lame. Soon you'll have your own place, make more money, and have lots of girlfriends. Just remember to always be good to mom.

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Janesays Established Member

Janesays

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I would definitely pass on a guy who lived with his parents. The ONLY exception being if he moved back in to help THEM with an illness or something. I've been taking care of myself and managing my money just fine for years, so I would expect an EQUAL from my partner. Someone being taken care of by Mommy and Daddy would not be equal to me, in my eyes.

 

HOWEVER, if I were you, I wouldn't move out to avoid looking lame. Better to look lame to a few women here and there than to move out and end up in even more financial hot water. And women who are also in the same predicament as you won't even bat an eye to your living situation, so don't sweat it.

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youcanever Established Member

youcanever

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If you have a plan, and don't plan to stay with your mom forever, you are fine. You are paying $500 to your mom right? That means you are not mooching off of your mom. A man with a plan is NOT lame. Soon you'll have your own place, make more money, and have lots of girlfriends. Just remember to always be good to mom.

 

We are pretty good together. She doesnt mind me bringinh my gfs. Even she leaves home for 1-2 days without i am asking. Yes, i send 500$ every month to mom for grocery, bills etc. And yes, i want to be out and on my own feet as soon as possible.

BikerAccnt Established Member

BikerAccnt

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I don't know if it's lame or not...

 

 

And I don't know if it's higher debt levels today , or just a great comfort living with the parents, but, I can't understand staying with your parents that long. I out of my parents house as soon as I could.

 

 

I made sure I went to a college that I had to dorm at, and as soon as I came home and got a job, I was out. I had debt, probably not as bad as today, a low income, but I was out. I wanted my independence and to be on my own. It was a struggle, it wasn't easy, and I wasn't able to save dime for a long time, a long time. But I couldn't imagine living with my folks and considering myself a man. Back in the day (early 80's) you just didn't do that. You struck out on your own as soon as you could.

 

 

If you wait for the "right moment" (to move out, approach a woman, get married, whatever), sometimes it never arrives. You just have to move, regardless of the moment.

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youcanever Established Member

youcanever

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I don't know if it's lame or not...

 

 

And I don't know if it's higher debt levels today , or just a great comfort living with the parents, but, I can't understand staying with your parents that long. I out of my parents house as soon as I could.

 

 

I made sure I went to a college that I had to dorm at, and as soon as I came home and got a job, I was out. I had debt, probably not as bad as today, a low income, but I was out. I wanted my independence and to be on my own. It was a struggle, it wasn't easy, and I wasn't able to save dime for a long time, a long time. But I couldn't imagine living with my folks and considering myself a man. Back in the day (early 80's) you just didn't do that. You struck out on your own as soon as you could.

 

 

If you wait for the "right moment" (to move out, approach a woman, get married, whatever), sometimes it never arrives. You just have to move, regardless of the moment.

 

The thing is, in my country if your parents are in your city, it is okay to stay with them so you can save money to buy a car or Travel etc. All my friends live with their parents.

 

What i differ from them is that i want to get out asap, they dont. So i have a plan. Gonna do my.best to get.my place next february.

Keenly Established Member

Keenly

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I think its lame personally. I think anyone who still lives at home after 20 isn't doing it right.

 

26 is really pushing it. If you are still home by then, you will be almost 30 years old by then. Being self sufficient earns quite a lot of respect for me.

 

 

If you pay your mom 500 bucks, there is no reason why you can't find a room mate(s). I was living on my own at 17, and 500 is exactly what I pay as my half of the rent today.

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youcanever Established Member

youcanever

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I think its lame personally. I think anyone who still lives at home after 20 isn't doing it right.

 

26 is really pushing it. If you are still home by then, you will be almost 30 years old by then. Being self sufficient earns quite a lot of respect for me.

 

 

If you pay your mom 500 bucks, there is no reason why you can't find a room mate(s). I was living on my own at 17, and 500 is exactly what I pay as my half of the rent today.

 

I am going to apply for 22k credit loan from bank tomorrow and planning to pay it back in 10 months. My Goa is to get my place in 10 months. When i am 25 better than 26.

Keenly Established Member

Keenly

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I am going to apply for 22k credit loan from bank tomorrow and planning to pay it back in 10 months. My Goa is to get my place in 10 months. When i am 25 better than 26.

 

I don't see the logic in taking a loan to pay loans.

 

I also don't think, you as a person with zero collateral are going to be able to walk out with a 22,000 dollar loan.

StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

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Nice job Biff.

 

In 10 years you'll resort to picking up girls at funerals and hollering at Ma to bring you some meatloaf.

Janesays Established Member

Janesays

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I don't see the logic in taking a loan to pay loans.

 

I also don't think, you as a person with zero collateral are going to be able to walk out with a 22,000 dollar loan.

 

Me either. In fact, if I were the OP, I'd be working at picking up a second job on the weekends to pay off those loans.

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Woop1337 Established Member

Woop1337

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I'm 25 and I still live with my parents. Granted I lived on my own for 9 months, I went back because of financial reasons. But I work two jobs and I go to school full time. How do I do it? I don't sleep much, but I bust my ass every single day. I'm not eligible for any financial aid for school. So I work two jobs to pay my tuition.

 

I'm not in any debt and I'm going to graduate next spring.

Edited by Woop1337
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