BrunoJ19 Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Hi, So I met a guy from online at the very end of January.. our first date was a blast, and by the third date he made me dinner and we slept together. We were seeing each other about once a week and talking multiple times a week, I am very busy with grad school and we live about 40 minutes from each other. At first he was very into me and I could tell, and then he seemed a little different, and last night he came over for dinner and we "talked"... His situation is he was in the navy for 5 years (he's 25 now, so still young) and he said hes adjusting to life off the ship and its hard, and really different and his head is kind of two different places of what he's doing next. He was extremely honest which I appreciate and said he didn't want to lead me on, but he doesn't think he's ready for something. I took it as hes young, and wants to go out, and not be tied down, but he said it's not about that. He said really likes me and thinks Im smart, pretty, and has a lot of fun, and his friends that met me really liked me, but he doesn't want to force something... I was kind of confused because I told him I was just taking things as they came and wasn't expecting a relationship or anything, I figured he was dating around. I do want something, but I don't know what, because in October I will be moving to Louisiana for 3 months for internship and then Savannah for 2 months. I guess I am just sick of having pointless relationships and this was nice, he treated me like a guy should, was respectful, and nice. He also told me Im the only girl he has met from online and has been with, and doesn't want to stop talking to me or seeing me, but doesn't want to force anything. I guess he was trying to say hes not ready for something serious? SO my question I guess is what do I do next, do I cut contact with him? Do I take the risk of possibly still getting to know him... Do you think he was being honest and nice, but lied and is dating around ( I told him I wouldn't be upset if he was!) I think I am going to try and hold off contacting him, and let him make the next move... what do you guys think?
HappyLove Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 He's basically telling you he wants a FWB. I think you deserve better.
Author BrunoJ19 Posted March 4, 2014 Author Posted March 4, 2014 Ugh then why cant he just have said that?! It's so frustrating... I do still want to see him, but I do not think I am going to be the one to initiate the contact.... Any advice on how to get him off of my mind??
HappyLove Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Ugh then why cant he just have said that?! It's so frustrating... I do still want to see him, but I do not think I am going to be the one to initiate the contact.... Any advice on how to get him off of my mind?? Date other guys, that's the number 1 way to get over him. Go work out, do hobbies, meet up with friends, stay busy. The longing will fade, trust me. Why should he be able to tell you he's not ready and then get the benefits of being your man, screw that. You're not ready , thanks for letting me know. Peace out. NEXT.
babycakees Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Sounds like this guy wants his cake and eat it too. If I were in your position, I would probably want to continue seeing him...BUT I will tell you what everyone else would tell me and that's to move on. You want a guy that is going to treat you with respect just like you said. Why settle for second best when there is a guy out there who will treat you with respect and give you exactly what you are looking for?
Author BrunoJ19 Posted March 5, 2014 Author Posted March 5, 2014 You are right, I still do want to see him. There's just so much I wish I would have said to him, but he put me on the spot and I wasn't ready.. Now I have to let it go I wrote his number down and put it in a drawer but I deleted from my phone, because I don't want the temptation always there... I think he thought I was looking for something serious, but I was okay where we were... If he misses me I guess I will know in a week or so... 2
babycakees Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I wrote his number down and put it in a drawer but I deleted from my phone, because I don't want the temptation always there... Good for you!! I wish I was that strong! See if he contacts you...but do not sit around and wait for him!
Fwbsucks Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Im basically in the same situation as u. Met a guy online 3 months ago...i plan on moving in 1 and half year. He said he cant pick up and move...i tried to end things several times. He calls. I fall. Now i think we re a FWB stage. I deleted his number. But he texts me. I break and give in. I tried no NC today. Failed. I think im going to eat my cake too. Im attracted to him. And im gonna have fun until i find mr right. Im gonna have that "man" mentality. I think if its too hard to give him up...then u can have fun...but dont take him seriously and keep ur options open 1
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