abby_tx Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 I went on a blind date with a guy my friends thought I'd be perfect for. We had a lot in common. He's also really intelligent and kind and wants the same things in life. On paper, we are perfect. But while he was cute, I didn't feel that intense physical attraction or chemistry. He's pretty shy so I'm not surprised he hasn't contacted me since our date. It has been 3 days. Do you think I should ask him out again or move on and wait for that chemistry? I don't want to lead him on.
BrunoJ19 Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 In my personal opinion, I like to have the chemistry. A couple years ago I met a really nice guy who had his life together, super polite, had a lot going for him... but I just didn't "feel" it. I went on a second date to try again, and still I wasn't feeling it... I would wait for someone you feel chemistry with.
Author abby_tx Posted March 4, 2014 Author Posted March 4, 2014 In my personal opinion, I like to have the chemistry. A couple years ago I met a really nice guy who had his life together, super polite, had a lot going for him... but I just didn't "feel" it. I went on a second date to try again, and still I wasn't feeling it... I would wait for someone you feel chemistry with. You're probably right. I'm so frustrated that I can't feel chemistry with a guy like this. The last couple guys I felt it with were so wrong for me. Players or just not interested in serious relationships and kind of dicks.
HappyLove Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 What do you have to lose? I say try another date. First dates are weird anyway.
BrunoJ19 Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 I know I said if the chemistry isn't there forget, but that's not to say a second date is a bad idea! Like I said I did try a second date with someone that seemed like a great guy, and on the second date the chemistry still wasn't there for me... there's no hurt in trying, but I wouldn't pursue it more than a 2nd date or so still with no chemistry...
TheNewMe2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 I agree with Bruno - what does it hurt for a second date. However - if you don't feel the chemistry after that....don't pursue it. Too much time has been lost in too many relationships people wanted to work but the chemistry wasn't there. Don't settle, you'll regret it eventually.
Author abby_tx Posted March 4, 2014 Author Posted March 4, 2014 I guess I'm not actually sure HE wants a second date. He could be too shy to ask it just doesn't want to. Wonder if I should say anything to him.
d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 I would not contact him. How close are you both with the friend who fixed you up? if there is a possibility that you two will end up at the same outing in the next few weeks, I'd play it cool, not contact the blind date but make a point to speak with him when you encounter him at something. See if anything develops organically. If you aren't feeling the chemistry, by reaching out to a shy guy to set up a 2nd date, you are indicating to him that you feel something.
Author abby_tx Posted March 4, 2014 Author Posted March 4, 2014 I would not contact him. How close are you both with the friend who fixed you up? if there is a possibility that you two will end up at the same outing in the next few weeks, I'd play it cool, not contact the blind date but make a point to speak with him when you encounter him at something. See if anything develops organically. If you aren't feeling the chemistry, by reaching out to a shy guy to set up a 2nd date, you are indicating to him that you feel something. There's a 100% chance I would not run into him unless we planned it. I haven't even run into the mutual friend in probably 1-2 years. That's why one of us would have to reach out. After thinking about it, I think a second date would be good because chemistry could develop. But I don't want to have to contact him!
babycakees Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Let it go. I just went out with a super nice guy once. He was looking into buying a house, a great job, complimented me and was all around great guy. BUT he was super quiet and not talkative and because of that...there was NO chemistry whatsoever. I at first agreed to go out with him again to see if there would be any chemistry that would develop, but I freaked out at the last minute and cancelled because he was wanting me to come to HIS place. Lesson of the story...If it's not there, it's not there.
stillafool Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 Maybe if you didn't feel any chemistry neither did he. I would let it go unless he contacts you and asks for a date.
d0nnivain Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I think a second date would be good because chemistry could develop. But I don't want to have to contact him! If he is as shy as you claim you will have to make the 1st move. If you think chemistry could develop, reach out. We regret more in life the things we don't try.
mangetout Posted March 5, 2014 Posted March 5, 2014 I would definitely give it a second date. I fell in love with my last boyfriend on the third date. The first date was neither here nor there. He wasn't as charming as I thought he would be. Rather dull in fact. I had no intention of texting him afterwards but he text me and I thought I would try another date with him. I saw him in a very different light on the second date. He was a lot warmer and very funny. I was hooked
Author abby_tx Posted March 5, 2014 Author Posted March 5, 2014 Now I'm torn what to do! I see both sides easily.
Author abby_tx Posted March 6, 2014 Author Posted March 6, 2014 I messaged him this morning and he didn't write back even though he's been online. Oh well!
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