waiting4u Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 I know it sounds like gendered bs, but dating lore says that if a girl asks out a guy, he is not that interested in her and although he may say yes, it won't last. This is true? I have a date tonight and I asked him out. We kept running into each other at the gym, the grocery store and the tech store. He finally introduced himself (he worked at the tech store so kind of had to) and I later friended him on facebook. Then we had a couple random conversations on fb and wazzzo - I asked him out for a drink. He seems really interested from the way he talks, but he's SO crazy good-looking that I'm intimidated. If he was interested initially, why didn't he make a move?
Keenly Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Every relationship I've ever had, she asked me out. It works. Its especially good with certain types of guys. 2
BJP56 Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 When I meet my GF she asked me out first. Its working so far. Urban myth IMO. 6 months in. In reality it does not matter who ask who out.
Keenly Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 I call it an excuse that women use to avoid rejection. "Oh, women don't do that" and then they don't have to do any of the work. 1
HappyLove Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 I hear you sister. We are always told don't do A B & C or it'll never work. Then you start talking to people in relationships and you find out they did exactly A B & C. I'd just enjoy the date and not worry about urban myths.
O'Malley Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Why miss out on an opportunity to spend time with a guy that you find attractive? Hopefully you'll enjoy your evening with him, but it's also not a big deal if there isn't enough chemistry to pursue anything further. Keep in mind that he did introduce himself to you and also agreed to go out for drinks, so it's not as though he's attempting to avoid interacting with you. If he doesn't step up to the plate and initate - contacting you and asking you out again - after your outing, then you'll know that he's not worth the trouble.
soccerrprp Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 I know it sounds like gendered bs, but dating lore says that if a girl asks out a guy, he is not that interested in her and although he may say yes, it won't last. This is true? I think that this may be true more often than not. I mean, the guy is typically the one who pursues the person of interest. So, if he is not pursuing you, then most likely it's b/c he's not interested in you all that much or at all. The initial contact by the girl may be flattering at first, novel, but then the reality sets in and the guy realizes that, wait, I don't really like this girl that much, what am I doing? But, if the guy has shown interest and it's clear, but hasn't asked b/c he's shy or for some other reason, then it's not always true that it won't last. In the end, guys who reject advances b/c it was made by the girl have a troubling perspective of relationships already and not a good sign, imho.
J21 Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Definitely false! I try to make even more of an effort because I know she took the first step. Good luck! and don't be intimidated by his looks lol 1
HappyLove Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 But look at how many guys here on LS would never ever even approach a girl. I say why not do it.
RedRobin Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 If I feel like asking a guy out, I do. I'll know soon enough if he isn't that interested. I'm pretty keen on reciprocation.... ... but I have no problems being the one to get the ball rolling. 1
avoforastig Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 From a guy's perspective, its extremely flattering and may catch them off guard since it doesn't happen very often. However, knowing a woman is interested can make you consider them in a different way or put you on the radar. All in all, a date is a date. How you met or got together will be quickly irrelevant if things go well.
SoonMyFriend Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 I've done it, and out of it I got a ONS and an 8 month relationship. I think it's a myth. When I was seeking advice on how to approach the guy who eventually turned into the 8 month relationship, all of my guy friends when asked "would it turn you off if a girl asked you out?" would react with: 'OMG THAT WOULD BE THE GREATEST THING EVER BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENS" If you like him, go for it! Better to try and fail rather than regret not trying at all!! Good luck and have fun on the date!
MrMeh Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 If I find her attractive it's extremely exhilarating. If I don't find her attractive then I don't feel too well since I just lied to her that I have a girlfriend.
travelbug1996 Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Men are the NEW women. Ugh!! I would never and men seem to enjoy sitting back and not pursuing women. Im not turned on by feminine energy men. When will women learn?? Never I guess. So foolish. 1
travelbug1996 Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 The only women that asks men out and pay for dates are women with low self worth and no men asking them out. Sorry but its true. A prize catch would NEVER ask a man out or to dance. Unless she wants to be the man in the relationship and a lot of women do. 1
newmoon Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 short-term it definitely works. I've asked out guys with much success and it has gone into dating long term. BUT, I always felt I liked them much more than they liked me - it was always in the back of my mind that I wasn't 'good enough' somehow. I think when you ask it leaves that room for doubt... like, are you really his type or did he just say yes to be with someone? and perhaps only married guys can answer this... did your wife ask you out first? perhaps when it comes to that ultimate choice in partner the man wants/has to make it?? I don't ask out anymore. I want to know a guy finds me his type right off. 1
travelbug1996 Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 @newmoon women are actually proposing these days so the men who are married probably got a proposal as well. I felt the same way when I initiated contact with a guy. I always wondered if he would have noticed me on his own. Not a good feeling. Never did that again. I like being the girl. Men are hunters by nature and women have so much masculine energy these days that men are turning into girls. Ive never liked girls. Men still pursue me because I allow them to. Nothing like a man that has the confidence to go after what he wants
D.Mc. Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 It seems worth it to ask a guy out (you're lucky you found a guy to ask in the first place), just so you know one way or another. If you don't ask, you'll always be thinking about it every time you see him. If he says no, then he will no longer be attractive to you in any way b/c of the rejection. Either way, it's one less thing for you to think about, & as women we have about +1000 thoughts/worries going on in our heads daily, so we need to give ourselves some rest sometimes.
Easyguy14 Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 It seems worth it to ask a guy out (you're lucky you found a guy to ask in the first place), just so you know one way or another. If you don't ask, you'll always be thinking about it every time you see him. If he says no, then he will no longer be attractive to you in any way b/c of the rejection. Either way, it's one less thing for you to think about, & as women we have about +1000 thoughts/worries going on in our heads daily, so we need to give ourselves some rest sometimes. Yea women just love to keep thinking and thinking and overthinking and of course more overthinking... 1
Andy_K Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Newsflash: guys do not ask out every girl they're interested in. Not even close to it. There's every chance he's really into you, but just hasn't asked you out. Not having asked you out does not reflect badly on his interest level. Want to know what happens in a world where guys ask out almost everyone they're interested in? Open an online dating account.
gaius Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 I think it can work if you're looking to take a more masculine role in the relationship and he's ok with being more passive. But if you're looking for something more traditional it's a disaster. I always get stuck in the uncomfortable position of trying to figure out how to get out of the situation without hurting her feelings everytime a woman has come on to me.
ChessPieceFace Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 If I feel like asking a guy out, I do. I'll know soon enough if he isn't that interested. I'm pretty keen on reciprocation.... ... but I have no problems being the one to get the ball rolling. This seems right to me. I don't see any problem making the initial move, but the idea would be to get the ball rolling, not some kind of role reversal. Once you've broken the ice, if he's interested, he'll most likely step up. 1
Bruce Leigh Posted March 7, 2014 Posted March 7, 2014 Shouldn't dating be all about " back and forth "? Man asks a woman out, 1st date goes great, both agree they want another date, man continues to pursue, woman plays hard to get, man says "not playing games, thanks but no thanks" Gets labelled as "not interested". The thrill of the chase? Sounds more like jumping through hoops, animals do that, not people.
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