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Guys: You want to hit on a girl, but you're intimidated because...

Hopeful30

By Hopeful30
in General Relationship Discussion

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BJP56 Established Member

BJP56

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Guys: You want to hit on a girl, but you're intimidated because...

Its disrespectful. I found how unclassy it is after seeing 2 guys hit on my potential GF when I left to get last minute drinks. Never will I sink to that level.

hasaquestion Established Member

hasaquestion

Posted
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Guys: You want to hit on a girl, but you're intimidated because...

Its disrespectful. I found how unclassy it is after seeing 2 guys hit on my potential GF when I left to get last minute drinks. Never will I sink to that level.

 

 

Why is it disrespectful? Elaborate.

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ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

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Why is it disrespectful? Elaborate.

Please do. I'm also intrigued....

bson1257 Established Member

bson1257

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I don't approach women because they don't like overweight guys with no self confidence.

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ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

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.And what's this not liking to be approached in public? This is the first time I'm hearing this. If women don't want to be hit on in public, they wouldn't try so hard to look nice...

 

 

lol. Tell that to the feminists on here.

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jba10582 Established Member

jba10582

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I'll talk to anyone who appears friendly and open and not awkward/nervous themselves. I deep down do not have the INTENT to want a relationship or even casual meaningless sex either...kind of feel like I have to start from scratch all over again and feel like it's a hurdle that I am happy just walking around right now, and being more focused on my health and getting out of this small town which is coming pretty soon as a lot of progress has been made...and, if someone were to be a really genuine decent person that I just happen to really click with them right from the start I certainly would not close myself off to them...hell even if they weren't the super hot girl, that matters much less to me now then it did say 6 years ago.

ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

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It should be a compliment if a man approaches you. I've always felt good being approached. Sure its a bit disappointing when it's the ugliest guy in the room, but I automatically respect him for approaching because that already means he has the audacity and confidence that no other guy in the room has (even if it stems from the "what have i got to lose" mentality).

 

Seriously most women don't think like you do. ^

You say you know lots of gorgeous women who are long time single and never get approached by guys. I used to go to lots of parties and clubs when younger, and it was the opposite...the pretty girls got a lottttt of attention. Same story at the companies I work for. Sure a number of the guys wont ask her out (she is more attractive than they are) but they will go out of their way to chat/subtly flirt with them. Watching these interactions it pretty easy to see these guys are just spinning their wheels and really the woman is just formal friendly but aloof and they pick up on that and don't actually ask her out.

 

If a beautiful woman only works almost exclusively with women and never goes out, (or if so on occasion its part of a big group that she sits in the middle of) then yes she can not get asked out much. Any women who is attractive and has a social life that gets her out and about where guys are, is going to get plenty of attention. If she is total stunner and sits in a bar booth with her glamour girl friends and they have an aloof look about them, then yes, lots of regular guys are going to be put off trying to approach to chat up the woman up in front of her gf committee. Lots of guys get the 'you wiiish' or 'assss if' attitutude or wtf reactions from much less attractive women when trying to chat them in public, that as someone else said earlier it creates a mindset that they will have much less of a chance getting a great reaction out of much more gorgeous & successful woman, so will avoid the rejection.

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Hopeful30 Established Member

Hopeful30

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Okay, but you can stand on your own two feet, pull your own weight and lead a decent life without much power or status. I'd rather be with a woman who was supportive of me if I were going through a tough spell without a job, rather than one whose attraction for me would dwindle because I had lost my power and status.

 

There's a difference between you losing your job and going through a difficult time vs. you not being able to pull your own weight in the first place.

 

And you're right, power and status aren't the same thing as pulling your own weight. I guess I was just trying to make a point that women are attracted to wealth, much like how certain birds are attracted to males who can collect the most stones or nest components :) Sort of like a preview of what they are capable of offering you and your offspring (I don't care what anyone says, if I'm pregnant and carrying a baby for 9 months, I expect my husband to be able to support me should I be unable to work during and shortly after the pregnancy).

EasyHeart Established Member

EasyHeart

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I don't think I've ever in my life been "intimidated" by a woman.

 

If I am physically attracted to a woman and we are both available, the only reasons I can think of that I wouldn't hit on her are: (1) I'm tired and not in the mood to hit on anyone; (2) She hasn't given me any signals of interest; or (3) She appears to be high maintenance.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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...but how else do you meet women? lol in the privacy of your own home? lmao

 

And what's this not liking to be approached in public? This is the first time I'm hearing this. If women don't want to be hit on in public, they wouldn't try so hard to look nice...

 

Good question.

 

Women don't like to be hit on at inappropriate times or with a man who has no sort of social graces but besides from in public where else would you be hit on indeed, door to door knocking? :laugh:

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HomanWater Established Member

HomanWater

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I'm not intimidated anymore, but I still may fail to see an incentive to approach a specific woman. For many cases in the past it was not unfounded.

hasaquestion Established Member

hasaquestion

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Good question.

 

Women don't like to be hit on at inappropriate times or with a man who has no sort of social graces but besides from in public where else would you be hit on indeed, door to door knocking? :laugh:

 

People take rejection too seriously and go to extreme lengths to avoid it. That includes not talking to women in public, in case they might say no.

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StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

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When I was out carousing I didn't necessarily feel intimidated if a girl was beautiful or very attractive. It was more or less about the vibe she was giving off, many times very attractive women don't come across as friendly for whatever reason. I even remember a few times when I heard from a third party that a girl liked me when she gave every impression she didn't... just didn't feel like wasting time on it usually.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Because odds are if she's hot and has a nice personality, there's a 99.9% chance she's taken. So why bother?

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Vyliss Established Member

Vyliss

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Girls really need to learn how to help guys out in this regard. It's not that hard... make eye contact and smile at the one you want to approach, don't at the ones who you don't want to approach.

 

Maybe I'm lucky.. or I'm doing it right, I don't get approached by ugly guys lol actually most guys don't approach, but lately when guys do they have been decent looking and my type, so ladies should help guys out.

Vyliss Established Member

Vyliss

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Because odds are if she's hot and has a nice personality, there's a 99.9% chance she's taken. So why bother?

 

This kind of thinking is sooo wrong.

 

Like good looking/nice people don't have relationship problems like everyone else?

 

Honestly you shouldn't be intimidated by this at all, unless you talk to her you wouldn't know what her status is.. she may be trying to get out of a relationship.. or "shock" be single!

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FrostBlaze Established Member

FrostBlaze

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Because odds are if she's hot and has a nice personality, there's a 99.9% chance she's taken. So why bother?

Can't believe i forgot about this, yeah i think about that often and it's more than likely true, but i still try. Maybe she just broke up, but that's not good either xD.

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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This kind of thinking is sooo wrong.

 

Like good looking/nice people don't have relationship problems like everyone else?

 

Honestly you shouldn't be intimidated by this at all, unless you talk to her you wouldn't know what her status is.. she may be trying to get out of a relationship.. or "shock" be single!

No, they don't.

 

If a girl is good looking and has a nice personality which I mentioned in my post, the only reason she would be single is if she wants to be single.

Can't believe i forgot about this, yeah i think about that often and it's more than likely true, but i still try. Maybe she just broke up, but that's not good either xD.

Funny enough that's actually how I got my first girlfriend.

 

When I met her she was in a relationship. We had our first date a month after she dumped her BF. Sadly our relationship didn't work out.

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peruano99 Established Member

peruano99

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Honestly I see tons of guys giving gifts and food to these pretty girls, but then the "cool" guy comes in, just talks with her a few mins and takes her with him. I see this all the time at my college.

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D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

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I just returned from vacation, and I found it odd how often I got approached- something that rarely happens when in my familiar surroundings.

 

It happened at the beach, at the bar, the grocery store, while strolling down the street, at the mall, in the airport- even on the plane... I don't know what's with that! Yes, I was alone, but I often go out alone at home and it rarely happens here.

 

I could assume men believed I was ripe for the picking because I was alone, or maybe the tropical atmosphere played a part in the lowering of inhibitions. It was just strange to get cold approached more times in 6 days than the last 5 years combined.

 

I find at home, men will often stare, and sometimes circle like they are gathering the courage to approach, but they rarely follow through.

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confusedsoul14 Established Member

confusedsoul14

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I keep on wondering about the same thing? Why would a guy get intimidated by a pretty, funny and friendly girl? Why hide his feelings? And sometimes, they deny their feelings even after finding out that the pretty, funny and friendly girl likes him back. That is just too cowardly! :(

One of my guy friend did that with a girl that he liked. :(

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gaius Established Member

gaius

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Like superman I have a certain outfit I like to wear when I'm hitting on women, and if I'm not wearing it I just don't feel right doing it. My last girlfriend got a serious urge to take me shopping after about the 6th time I showed up in it.

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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I just returned from vacation, and I found it odd how often I got approached- something that rarely happens when in my familiar surroundings.

 

It happened at the beach, at the bar, the grocery store, while strolling down the street, at the mall, in the airport- even on the plane... I don't know what's with that! Yes, I was alone, but I often go out alone at home and it rarely happens here.

 

I could assume men believed I was ripe for the picking because I was alone, or maybe the tropical atmosphere played a part in the lowering of inhibitions. It was just strange to get cold approached more times in 6 days than the last 5 years combined.

 

I find at home, men will often stare, and sometimes circle like they are gathering the courage to approach, but they rarely follow through.

 

That is because they are on vacation as well and the locals have not been worn down by political correctness.

GoodOnPaper Established Member

GoodOnPaper

Posted
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Because odds are if she's hot and has a nice personality, there's a 99.9% chance she's taken. So why bother?

 

Agree. I will never be able to wrap my head around the whole beautiful-women-don't-get-approached thing. It's the stuff of legends like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness monster.

 

My singlehood was so miserable and unsuccessful that I actually developed a bad mental kneejerk reaction -- if I ever found myself very drawn to a woman on first-sight or first-conversation, I'd realize that if I was so drawn to her, so were a million other guys, and the thought of having to deal with that kind of competition would deflate me.

 

Of course, that meant I was trying to find a needle in a haystack, a woman that I was very attracted to but who I thought no other man would want. Impossible to balance both of these things -- you either settle or end up stressed about competition.

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ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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Considering my situation and the way the women I want looks so much better than me, I find it hard to believe that I am capable of getting a date when I am working at an entry-level retail overnight job while trying to find a place with a roommate that I can actually trust.

 

I am almost always broke, my family is the most annoying group of people I will ever meet, and I don't have a car.

 

What chance do I have to get a date with a woman I want? The ones I like, they tend to have at least a car and half also have their own place.

 

Just that alone makes them better than me and, last I checked, women want a man who has more than her, not less than her.

 

So I didn't even bother. Why go for something that you won't be able to get anyway?

Edited by ltjg45
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