JShimmy Posted January 24, 2005 Posted January 24, 2005 Hi all, this is my first post and I really need help... Here's the situation.. I've been going out with my girlfriend for 2 years now and everything has been perfect... Were away at two different colleges but only one hour apart... We get along perfect, never fight, never had problems... Recently, I've had feelings for my best girl friend at college and she has the same feelings as i do.. Her friends have been trying to get me to think about breaking up with my girlfriend for a couple weeks now.. I went to my friend at colleges date party for her soriority with her a couple weeks ago and had a blast.. i couldn't tell my girlfriend because i didn't want her to worry cause i would never cheat on her.. One of my best friends is now hitting on my friend at college and i got jealous.. she even thought about getting with him just to piss me off... so we had a long talk and i told her how i felt about her... I told her i was willing to try us out since we had equal feelings and would break up with my girlfriend... Well I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday and feel like poo.. I know i really hurt her and she never saw it coming.. i still love my girlfriend so much and she really needs me... i just told her i needed a break and thought we should test our love by being free for a little bit... I feel terrible and can't stop crying because i know i hurt her... Her feelings mean more than mine... I'm second guessing everything i can think of... I wanna be with my girlfriend but i also wanna try something with my best girlfriend... My heart says that im young and need to experience life a little... but i just feel so bad hurting her and don't know if i really wanna even try to start something with my friend.. Im just so confused and worry for my now ex!! I just been so upset since breaking up.. there was no other reason for the break except for the other girl.. Do you think that if i was satisfied with my girlfriend i should stay with her? I don't wanna break anyones heart but im in a lose lose situation.. I know my girlfriend is fragile and can't deal with it and my best friend would be to get over it in a couple weeks.. Im thinkin that i should stay with my girlfriend just because she needs me right now since she has a lot going on in her life but im afraid i may miss out on someone else i totally get along with... What are your thoughts? please help I don't want to hurt anyone and i can't sleep and just been drinkin my sorrows off...
L1234 Posted January 24, 2005 Posted January 24, 2005 I understand that you're confused, but hurting someone else isn't fair either. Being young and in love can sometimes be really hard. There is pressure to make it perfect. If you love your girlfriend and you know in your heart that she's the one, then it could work. But if you have uncertainties, then you should figure out why. I guess I can't understand that if you love your girlfriend how you could possibly have feelings for someone else?
Merin Posted January 24, 2005 Posted January 24, 2005 There is a difference between being IN love with someone and loving them.. IMO it seems that while you love you girlfriend (EXGF now) that you're not in love with her.. you found yourself in a LDR.. the both of you are meeting new people, and having new experiences.. I do commend you on not cheating on your girl.. but calling things off BEFORE anything more happend with your best friend.. Right now, more than your "concern" for your EXGF (And don't get me wrong here, I believe that you do have concern and guilt over how things ended) but I also think sometimes it is easier to stay with the known then to venture into the unknown with someone else.. At this point, IF you don't feel you're in love with your girl.. and you don't know if she is the "right person" for you.. then the best thing to do is to leave her alone.. give her time to heal and get past what happend.. IMO that is what really caring for someone should be about.. Good Luck
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