robaday Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 Ive been dating a girl for four months now. Things have been good overall, we get along well, we both lead our own lives and have a good time when we see each other. However, Im having some big problems at work. I live abroad and am sponsored, so tied to my employer. They had promised me residency this year but have gone back on their word. Now they have said they cant offer me a two year contract due to recession. So at present my visa expires in 5 months. To add to the complications, I was due to take a career break anyway in 5 months (I had agreed this with my employer). This was to go home for two months and see my family and friends (its been 3 years since I saw everyone). I can get other employment and sponsorship. But cant get the break I need - if I take two months out, Ill be gone for good........ This uncertainty is starting to bother me and affect my relationship. Im finding myself focused on changing jobs/applying/scrambling for security. Meanwhile I can sense shes getting increasingly insecure due to the uncertainty in my life. I dont want to put her through unecessary drama or hurt her. But Im also struggling to commit if I might be leaving for good.....confused!!
4everalones Posted March 4, 2014 Posted March 4, 2014 (edited) wow, it's like I'm reading my own story. I moved to the US with an H1B and my company wouldn't sponsor my residency anymore. I got stressed out, was looking for new jobs, and wasn't a good company overall. My ex wasn't so happy about this, he tried to support me, but I was anxious and worried all the time. He ended up breaking up with me because 1). I was in a bad situation and wasn't fun to be around 2). he felt like I will leave the country for good anyways, so he might as well check out of the relationship now. I was devastated (and I still am), I felt betrayed. I felt like he was a coward who run away when things got tough. Anyways, my advice is to to sit down with your girlfriend in a nice calm environment and talk to her about your situation. Let her know that it's not about her, and that you have to adjust your work situation so that you can focus on making the relationship work. I know how hard such situations are. But open communication is key here. Let her know about your fears and issues, and then let her decide. If she cares about you, she'll stick around, if not, you'll know who she really is. Good luck with the job and relationship. Edited March 4, 2014 by 4everalones
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